Philip Faustin's Thoughts

Beat Up By Church?

2012-02-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

I know there are bad churches and pastors out there. They may even be the majority and I'm speaking of the evangelical ones.

There are also many stories of people who were "beat up by the church". Some of them are valid. Here is one thing that bothers me though: many people who claim a bad experience with church were or are living an immoral life. They wanted a pat on the back but got something else.

I know there is a right and wrong way to deal with sin in other people. It should be done in love but it should be done. It is not loving to ignore it.

1 Peter 4:8 says this: Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. I think this really comes into play in places like marriage where we have the daily crap of another person to deal with. There is a lot of small stuff that needs to be forgotten. The same holds true in many other relationships.

But there is sin that does need to be confronted both in personal relationships and in the church. Immorality would be at the top of the list. Paul confronted the Corinthian church for their failure to deal with sin. See 1 Corinthians 5 for the story. He rebukes them for their tolerance and delivers the offender to Satan for the destruction of his flesh. He goes on to tell us that we should not associate with a so-called brother, that we should judge sin in the church and that we should remove the wicked from the church. The thing talked about is an unrepentant person; one who is practicing sin. The good part of the story is they followed his advice and the person later repented and was restored.

If sin in the church is not dealt with it is like yeast. It grows and infects the whole church. This is easy to see. If a church is soft on divorce they will see a landslide of divorce. If they ignore sex outside of marriage they will soon have many people filling the pews that are living together and feeling fine about it. If speaking against abortion is avoided, abortion will become more common in the church.

When I was a brand new Christian in 1973, I had a good experience with what some would call harshness. I had a dramatic conversion with all of the wonderful good feelings that come with it. A few weeks later I went up for prayer after a Bible study and told one of the leaders that I felt God was no longer with me. His response was swift. He told me I was a liar. He then went on to explain that it was not about feelings. Talk about an embarrassing kick in the butt yet it was what I needed. I count that experience as a turning point. I learned early that truth trumps feeling. I love Scott Hinkle for loving me enough to tell me the truth.

Some people are too harsh and some are too wimpy. In confronting our own sin we should find our bad tendency and deal with it. Then we should go out in love and kick some butt for Jesus. It's time to stop tolerating blatant immorality and those who promote it in the church.

Philip

Are We Prostitutes?

2012-02-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

At a dinner party Winston Churchill says to his dinner companion, "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"

The woman responds, "My goodness, Mr. Churchill. I suppose I would."

Churchill replies, "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"

She answers, "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?"

Churchill answers, "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price."

So many times it all comes down to money. Of the many places where this plays out, politics and religion are two that come to mind.

I think about professed Christians who voted for Obama. Even though they were aware of his pro-abortion history, there was something in it for them. Obama promised to make their life nicer in exchange for their vote. They ignored all of the bad he represented, ignored the slaughtered children, pulled the lever, and violated their conscience.

In religion I think of pastors who avoid speaking on "controversial" moral issues because they don't want to offend certain pew sitters. If those people leave, their money goes with them.

In the end it's all haggling about price.

So what is our price? Are we willing to compromise for money or peace or acceptance or some other benefit?

Fear of losing something drives us. Let me offer an antidote. Matthew 23:9 says this: Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.

Looking at the word father in its original language we get an understanding of what Jesus meant to convey. Pater or father is the one who is the provider, sustainer and upholder. We see that Jesus was saying we should only look to our heavenly Father in that way.

This can give us courage to do what is right. If we live to please our Father we will see his provision and care.

Philip

Gratitude Can Change Your Life

2012-02-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

Have you felt thankful recently? Have you said ‘thank you’ lately? When was the last time you wrote the words ‘thank you’ to someone?

I think gratitude is one of our most neglected virtues. Maybe all of the advertising we see that tries to convince us there are a multitude of things we are missing makes us focus on what we don't have rather that seeing what we do have.

Here is a question: Does gratitude start in the heart or do we create it by expressing thankfulness? In either case I know it is strengthened when we focus on it.

How about in marriage? So much damage comes from focusing on a spouse's imperfections rather than seeing their good qualities. A good tip: Praise is a better motivator towards good behavior than nagging. (Note to self!)

I have found that formalizing my gratitude does something that fleeting thoughts can't. It cements the thought in my mind and makes it stronger than the grumbling voice that is always droning on.

Try to make the words ‘thank you’ a regular part of your vocabulary. When someone hands you your coffee or food or some other purchase, express thankfulness. That is a small but easy starting place. Look for other opportunities. Say it with a smile and let it settle in your heart where it will bring change.

How about writing it down? It may be for you in the form of a journal or for someone else in the form of a note. I think one of the most powerful things we can give or receive is a hand written personal note. Try that right now. It doesn't have to be a fancy note card. Any piece of paper will do. Just express thanks to someone in a way that shows you really mean it. It will change you and bless them.

And most of all, give thanks to God.

...in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Philip

Assumptions

2012-01-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever assumed something to be one way and then found the opposite to be true?

I have thought a lot about assumptions lately. There are many things I have assumed to be true; I am finding out I have been wrong.

I always assumed that a Christian would be against certain things and for others. Here are a few examples: Christians are against abortion. Christians view homosexual behavior as wrong. Christians think divorce is bad. Christians think sex before marriage is wrong. Christians are against homosexual marriage.

Well I was wrong and I'm not talking about so-called Christians or people who belong to mainline liberal denominations or people who think most Americans are Christians. I’m talking about people who claim to love Jesus.

Another bad assumption of mine is that Christians believe the Bible.

And before I turn a corner, here are a couple more bad assumptions of mine: I thought that because my wife and I were followers of Jesus our marriage would be easy and our kids wouldn't have any serious problems either. Wrong again.

So my last examples are the things that older, more mature people would smile at and know life will teach its own lessons but what about the others? I guess many of them are wrapped up in my assumption that education and facts will change people's minds. Well, wrong again.

Now there are many people who are changed by education and facts. When they became a Christian they began filtering all of their thinking through Scripture. Even when it is uncomfortable or hard, they face up to the truth and seek to conform to it.

Sadly, many so-called Christians have little time for serious time in Scripture. Instead of being transformed by it, they are conformed to the world.

Another sad truth is many people go to the Bible with their beliefs and twist it to justify what they want to believe and do. Some people believe false things because they are ignorant and some because of choice. For the latter, facts matter little to them.

So where am I going with this? I guess it explains some of the reason why the church is so messed up. It explains why things are sliding downhill and why liberal thinking is taking over many churches and Christian institutions.

I guess in the future it will help if I don't just assume where a person is and instead either ask questions or look for clues.

So what to do then? I will try to help educate people but when I find those who refuse to believe the truth and especially those who are corrupting others I will be ready for battle. I will not easily cede ground to them; I will fight.

Philip

Foundation - Rock or Sand

2012-01-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2 NASB

Here is what the Phillips version says: Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God re- mould your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity.

Two things I see here: the world wants us like itself and God wants us like Him.

We cannot escape the world. It is the place we live. Some people have tried things like a monastery to escape the world's influence but in the end find that the world lives within.

Now to be sure, the external does make a big difference. What we focus on, what we choose to look at and what we listen to will strengthen or weaken the world's influence on our internal - the heart.

We really battle three things in this area according to 1 John 2:16: For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The external is warring to influence and take over the internal.

Galatians 5:16-17 says this: But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

To win the battle we need to have more influence from God's word than from the world. That will take more than a Sunday sermon or Sunday school class. We will have to refresh our minds daily with the corrective and cleansing power of Scripture.

A lack in this area is why we see Christians who are soft on sin. They are uncomfortable when confronting the world. Softness on abortion and homosexuality are two examples. Because the world has molded their thinking, they are persuaded more by its arguments than Scripture. Not having a foundation to stand on, they are swayed.

Sadly, many people are blind to their blindness; in ignorance they stand firmly committed.Also there are some who have the knowledge of what the Bible says but for philosophical reasons or fear of men or the desire of man's praise choose to compromise. They are in a worse state. So it's not just knowledge that is necessary but bowing the knee to truth.

If we don't fight, things slide downhill. If you don't fight daily for a Biblical mind you will end up with a worldly one.

The solution is a disciplined, habitual, regular, don't matter how you feel, immersion in Scripture. There are no short cuts.

It really is a life or death battle; winner takes all.

Philip

Mom and Chicken Soup

2011-12-31T06:47:00.001-07:00

I read this morning of a friend who was sick. Her mother came over and made her homemade chicken and vegetable soup. My wife did that recently for one of our sons.

One of the things every one of us shares is having a mother; I had two. One was my birth-mother and the other was a lady who could not have children and adopted me when I was three months old. She is the only one I ever knew as a mother.

Due to various health problems, my mom was sick a lot. It was serious stuff and fills a lot of my childhood memories. She died when I was sixteen.

As a devoted mother, my mom did the best she could with me. My guess is that chicken soup made its appearance somewhere during my early years.

It's not easy being a mother to a child like I was; even harder when your own health is bad.

I have two distinct memories of times when I was sick with a cold and cough. Now this was back before all the candy flavored medicines came out. One time my mom was trying to give me some Vicks Formula 44 cough syrup. I don't know if it was as bad tasting as I remember or if it was just the contrary child at work but she actually had to chase me through the house. Finally I was cornered in the bathroom shower where I sobbed. At that point my memory goes blank so I don't know who prevailed.

Another time I was given a Faustin formula for cough which was called a "strong drink". Normally it consisted of Old Stagg Bourbon and 7UP which was similar to Sprite. I hated the taste of Bourbon which ended up helping a lot in my teen years. There was always a bottle around our house but even with a passion for getting drunk I had to force the stuff down while holding my nose. Now I am thankful for that bit of external restraint.

Anyway, on this occasion the mixture was Bourbon and honey. I think the theory was that the honey would coat the throat with the "medicinal" properties of the Bourbon. Well as usual, I was an uncooperative patient and would not drink the mixture. It was left sitting on the night stand. Sometime during the night my continued cough convinced me I should submit. I reached for the cup and took a drink. What you need to know is that by then, the honey had settled to the bottom so I got a mouthful of horrible tasting fire-water. That went a long way towards keeping me abstinent for a few more years.

So what struck me this morning as I thought about the chicken soup was what I missed. I didn't get to have a mom during my adult years. She wasn't at my wedding, I didn't get to see her playing with my children and she didn't get to pass on Faustin stuff to my wife. I could go on for a long time.

Be thankful for your mother even if she is less than ideal. If you are an adult and have a mother in your life it is usually a great blessing and one that can be taken for granted.

Thank her and be thankful.

Philip

My Adoption - Thoughts at Christmas

2011-12-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

I spent the first few months of my life in an orphanage. I was adopted when I was about three months old. My birth name was William Paul Bibelhausen.

I have a brother who is two years older and a sister who is three years younger. They were adopted also. I remember going to the orphanage when we were picking out my sister. I remember being in a courtroom, before a judge related to her adoption. I have a picture in my mind of my mom and dad in the front seat of the car with my sister between them. She turned around and gave my brother and me a huge smile. She was now part of our family and we were all very happy.

One of the first clues I had of being adopted was a time when a neighbor lady was breastfeeding her baby. Later my mom told us that we were bottle babies. There might have been more said that I don't remember but somehow I knew I was adopted although I may not have understood all it meant at that time. I was probably around five years old then.

I have never had any bad feelings about being adopted and have never felt abandoned by my birth mother. I do have a friend who was raised in an orphanage who was angry with his birth mother when he met her. He wondered why she gave him up. That may be the difference. I felt like I was raised in a good home by good parents. I have never had a desire to meet my birth mother although I am very happy that I wasn't aborted.

In a Bible study recently someone made a comment that we can't choose our relatives. While that is true in most cases, I thought back that my parents chose me. When I was about eighteen, I was at a Bill Gothard seminar and one of the things he said was that God placed adopted children in special homes. I agree with that and am thankful.

As I said, I was raised in a good home by good parents. It wasn't always easy though. From what I hear, I was an especially difficult child. I also know that my mother desperately loved me. She wanted so much to be a mother. She was devastated years before when due to a hemorrhage, she had surgery and could never bear children.

From childhood, my mom was sick. She had rheumatic fever that led to future problems and many other illnesses all through her life. I have many memories when I was a child of her being sick and in the hospital. She died when I was sixteen from a heart condition related to the rheumatic fever.

After that, my dad did his best to raise us well. There were friends and relatives who came into our home to help as they had at times when my mom was in the hospital.

That must have been a very difficult and frightening time for my dad. I had already begun my decent into drugs and my sister became pregnant a couple years later. He used to say, "Things would have been different if Ida (my mom) had been there." I'm sure that would have been true.

I am thankful that I was adopted. I’m sad to think of all the kids now days who don’t get that chance because of abortion.

As I ponder the meaning of Christmas, I am thankful that Jesus made it possible for me to be an adopted child of God.

Philip

The Lesson of Tim Tebow

2011-12-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

To begin I must say that I am not a sports fan and know very little about football. I'm not the person who could show from statistics or analysis what kind of quarterback Tim Tebow is. I also have not watched the games he has played in this year.

But I have followed Tim Tebow very close and am moved by what I see. He seems genuine. He loves football and sees his position as a platform. He also views football as just a game and from what I've read said that God doesn't care who wins or loses. That would probably make him a blasphemer in many sports fans minds.

So here is what I know. Some amazing things have happened in the fourth quarter and overtime when Tim Tebow is playing and not all of it has been from Tim's hands. Other players both on the Broncos and on the teams they have played have contributed to the wins.

I am 56 years old. I am close to the fourth quarter of my life and may already be in it. My life so far looks like many of the Bronco games Tim Tebow has played in. I have scored a few points and have missed many opportunities. I don't have a lot to show for the years I have lived. It would be easy to say my life has been a failure and it's not going to change in the future; I will never be a great husband or father.

But here is the lesson of Tim Tebow for me. The game is not over yet. I can't let my past failures paint the future. God can turn things around and bring glory to Himself through my life.

Tim Tebow is a very inspirational player. He seems to bring out the best in the team. He helps them believe they can succeed.

He is not a one man show either. He doesn't speak in terms of I but we. He recognizes that the whole team is essential. He doesn't demean the other players when they miss an opportunity but convinces them that they will do better in the future.

When the bad history of my life plays in my mind the volume is turned all the way up. It's hard to see anything changing for the good. I feel like the people who pack up their stuff and go home early, convinced this game is lost. Tim Tebow shows me it's not. An exciting win may be just around the corner.

With God, amazing things are possible. When I really think about it, He always seems to wait until the last minute to do things. He also loves redemption. He fixes broken things.

Another thing I know is that there will be future losses. I am going to sin. I am going mess up and miss good opportunities. I hope the people around me will yell encouragement rather than say they knew it wouldn't last and that I'm no good after all.

Tim Tebow teaches us to hang on in prayer. It doesn't matter how long we have prayed. It doesn't matter if we don't see an answer. It's not over yet; persist.

A good thing to remember is that our opponent is getting weak and may be overconfident in the fourth quarter. They may be leaving the game, already convinced of a win. We need to keep playing with all that we have.

I will close with this quote by Sir Winston Churchill:

When you feel you cannot continue in your position for another minute, and all that is in human power has been done, that is the moment when the enemy is most exhausted, and when one step forward will give you the fruits of the struggle you have borne.

It's not just Tebow time but God's time to shine.

Philip

Managing Circus Animals and Addiction

2011-12-03T10:38:00.001-07:00

I was thinking of addiction in relation to circus animals. There can be the illusion of them being tamed and under control but they will always be wild and unpredictable. If you let down your guard, destruction is inevitable.

Addiction: Does that make you think of someone else or yourself? Does it make you think of a drug addict? Are you honest enough or broken enough to admit that you are addicted to something or maybe many things? Does that question cause you to bristle?

The arrest this week of former Arapahoe County Sheriff Pat Sullivan has caused me to think about this. He was busted for trading Meth for sex. It also reminds me of Ted Haggard, although he didn't get arrested. Both were successful professionals in important positions. The fall of both is a shock to the public and those close to them.

You may feel sorry for these guys or you may feel they are low-life scumbags. What we need to do is see ourselves in them. Most likely what we see will be different but probably no less dangerous.

I have been around long enough to see that every one of us has a cage somewhere with some animals in it. At times we put on grandiose glasses and imagine we run the greatest show on earth. There we are with our hat and tails, whip and chair in hand. We imagine we are in control.

What is it? Sex, gambling, porn, drugs and alcohol are some we recognize. One of mine is food. I'm also addicted to complaining and tearing other people down. That addiction does incredible damage in my family.

We don't want to think of ourselves as addicts. Maybe we call it by another name like compulsion or bad habits. As Christians we want to think we are free from these things, that in Christ we can master and not be mastered.

We can be free when we remember that Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from Him we have no life or power. And just because we are Christians doesn't mean all is rosy.

We can be free when we let Jesus run the show. We have to admit we can't tame the animals and learn what surrender really means. The surrender we normally practice is one full of conditions and usually keeps our hands on the whip and chair. We don't really want to admit the seriousness of the mess we are in. What we think is with a little help from God we can get this thing under control. Another illusion is that the thing we keep having a problem with isn't such a big deal. At least it's not like... The truth is that if we keep having a problem with something then it's obvious we are not the master we thought we were.

There are times in addiction where we get caught or are confronted in some way. If we reject those opportunities for freedom we get ensnared a little more. I would bet that both Pat Sullivan and Ted Haggard had many "close calls" before their spectacular falls.

Let me give an example: a guy gets caught looking at porn by his wife. Big commotion ensues, assurances are given, etc. Usually the last thing he wants is for anyone else to know. But that might be the only hope for long-term change. In community we find strength; isolation keeps us in the cage with the animals. The initial exposure gives him the merciful opportunity for real help. The fantasy of managing it on your own just sets you up for further trouble.

Exposure is the best hope for becoming free from your addiction. That can be voluntary or not. When we hide things they usually build to a point where something spectacular happens and at that point the snare might be so tight that the chance of freedom fades.

So here is the point: don’t hide when the little exposure happens. See it as a chance to lay your life bare with some people who can really help. For guys, a safe place to be real is the Samson Society. It’s an environment that is rare in Christian circles and is an amazing tool for a life of freedom.

Philip

Thanksgiving - In All

2011-11-27T06:36:00.001-07:00

In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" I heard you think that. I have too.

Now it's front in center in our mind: The thing. Yes - the thing that collides with this verse.

The thing that is wrecking our life. The anchor that has slowed us or stopped us from moving forward in our life. The thing that causes rage or the looking for medication.

It doesn't matter what it is. Some thing entered our life; now it dominates. It may go under the surface for a while but it always dominates. Maybe there is a legion of these things.

But look again: In everything give thanks.... It's a small word but it changes everything. It liberates us to practice this Scripture truth. IN not FOR. In everything not for everything. Do you see?

I was hit by a car on my bike last week. Giving thanks in that situation is different than giving thanks for it. I am not a Calvinist. That person would say God caused or orchestrated or willed the accident so I have to give thanks FOR it.

I do believe in a big, huge, sovereign God. He isn't surprised by anything. I also live in a fallen world where horrible things happen. Evil is everywhere. The devil and demons are real and in some way are out to wreck my life. These two or three colliding things are beyond my ability to understand. I think error and false doctrine come when we try to put it in a neat little box that we can understand and explain.

So back to my bike wreck: I am thankful IN it. I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful I wasn't seriously hurt. I'm thankful that I learned to be more observant; in the future I will make sure the driver of a car turning right on a red light sees me before I pass in front of them. I'm thankful that I was able to meet with the driver of the car a couple days later and extend grace to him. I'm thankful that he took responsibility and paid for the damages to my bike. I'm thankful for a new bike that I like even more than my old one.

So a bad situation in a fallen world is redeemed because I can give thanks in it. I can turn it around in my mind. And something else can happen. Here is what Romans 8:28 says: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. God will work this situation for good. He will take a situation that was meant for bad and redeem it.

Thanksgiving and gratitude will save us from ourselves and an evil world. When we choose to give thanks we won't be tricked into blaming God for evil or for not caring about us or what is going on in our life. We will have a completely different perspective.

So, about your thing: In and not for. Start now.

Philip

Mistakes

2011-11-24T07:20:00.001-07:00

I was hit by a car yesterday. I was near the end of a great bike ride on a beautiful afternoon. I was about 10 minutes from home after a 20 mile ride.

I had a green light and headed into the crosswalk. The driver of the car was making a right turn on the red light. Thankfully I hit the side of his car rather than him broadsiding me.

The driver made a mistake. He should have looked to the right before turning. I know I have done the same thing myself.

What a jumble of memories I have of the accident. Things are coming to me this morning that I didn't remember yesterday. I have a slight pain in my left rib. That is where my body hit the car. Right after the collision I felt okay. Someone came to my aid and was asking if they should call an ambulance. I didn't think that was necessary. I didn't hit that hard, although there was quite a dent in his front fender right above the tire.

I expected my bike to be bent up. It ended up better than I thought. After some adjustments I rode it home.

The driver made a mistake that could have ended up worse for both of us. He will have some consequences and once my bike gets repaired or replaced I should be okay. I'm thankful for minimal damage.

I could have been in his place. He was more shook up than I was. I'm glad I wasn't the one who had messed up this time. But maybe I did. My wife said I should have called the police. Maybe so. What if he denies responsibility later she questioned. I don't think he will. He didn't seem like that type of a person. I probably should have called someone to help me think straight.

I called him on the phone later. He was very sorry and still upset. I imagine he will have his own flashbacks. It had to be very traumatic for him too.

So on this Thanksgiving Day I am very grateful for many things. I am also grateful that we can learn through our mistakes and that in God's mercy we get cut a lot of slack.

It's good to remember these things.

Philip

Body and Blood

2011-11-20T13:42:00.001-07:00

I am reminded this morning. Body and blood; not just any but that of Jesus. We have communion.

Resignation in the garden: there is no other way. Sweating blood in anticipation.

Betrayal and arrest.

Mocking, hitting, beating. Flesh ripped away. Crown of thorns.

Rejection.

Dragging a cross through the streets.

Nailed to a timber on a hill. Agony.

Separation from the Father. Unthinkable.

Spear to the side: last blood spilled. Death brings darkness.

Forgiveness and reconciliation. I am a friend of God.

Thanksgiving.

Philip

My Fitness Pal

2011-11-12T06:34:00.001-07:00

I was surprised yesterday by a message from my food diary app. I have used it for 365 days straight. I credit that app with helping me lose 70 pounds last year and keeping it off for 7 months now.

It can be very difficult to lose weight if you don't know the calorie value of what you are eating. If you are guessing, you are probably way low – that’s why we progressively add weight. Some people try extreme exercise, hoping that that will help. Others try fad diets or think there are foods they can never eat again. That doesn’t work in the long term either. I have written in other blog posts of the need for a lifestyle change so I won’t repeat that here.

My Fitness Pal is the app I use. It is available for most phone platforms or you can use their website. I use it on an IPod Touch. It is completely free. It is also very easy to use and only takes a few minutes of time each day to track what you have eaten or what you are thinking of eating. I have been spared from many high calorie meals by looking up foods before I eat them.

Here is the link to the MyFitnessPal website where you can set up an account and get the apps. All of the data syncs between app and website so you can enter info in either.

You can also track exercise in the app and get a realistic picture of how many calories are burned. This is an important part of weight loss too. If I walk 30 minutes at a very brisk pace I will burn between 160 and 180 calories. If I ride my bike very hard for an hour at 14 mph I will burn about 500.

Well I hope what I have learned in my weight loss journey will help you be successful in yours.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Grief

2011-11-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

It comes in waves; it settles in layers. It brings pain, sorrow and sadness.

Today was a day of celebration that turned to sadness. My son Matthew turned 13 today. We celebrated him being a part of out family.

Then my 23 year old daughter, one who could be called a prodigal, brings news that tears the joy out of me. She is one who pursued God with a passion. Then came bad company; the kind that Scripture says corrupts good morals. It was a spectacular slide downward. She abandoned her husband of 1 ½ years and took up with an infidel. Her whole life changed.

On the way down she joined the company of those who call themselves “childless by choice.” Yes, this from a lady who so loved children and would be an amazing mother. But caught by the snare of the world, the one that says there is so much more than the blessing of children. Money, possessions and fun were to be chased after.

So the news of today: Some health issues I won’t go into but leading her to a hysterectomy. This bad news for a 23 year old, my young daughter and one I love but feel so far from.

And she says it’s all okay, no big deal, didn’t want kids anyway. But is a rock thrown into a pond with no ripples? The ones that hit me feel like a tsunami. Is a curse come upon her; the one called barrenness? Oh I know that is such archaic language; and such archaic thought. Yes in a society that no longer values children in the Biblical way.

I grieve for my young daughter even if she can’t or won’t or maybe will at some time later. And to be honest, I grieve for me. Yes, this will affect me and my wife and the legacy we had hoped for.

And I will pray for something else. I pray for her heart to soften, to be broken by the gentle hand of God that it may be made tender like His once again and that she will return to Him. And I pray that she will not have such a final thing happen to her. That she and the news will change. There is so much being lost now in the place where she dwells.

Will you hurt with me for this wandering lamb? Will you now say a prayer for her? Thanks.

Philip

Fear

2011-11-05T05:58:00.000-06:00

Bandit

We have a dog that is full of fear. We got him from the pound. Who knows what happened in his life before he came to our home.

When I walk I take Bandit with me. He knows when I am getting ready and gets all excited. Sometimes he is disappointed when he finds out I am going on a bike ride. I look the same for both. The clue is I either get the leash or water bottles.

It's on the walks that I recognized his fears. He will see someone or something and his pace changes, he slinks down and I have to encourage him along. It used to seem funny to me.

One of Bandit's bad habits is barking at the mailman. Some people around the house have said he is being protective. On our walks I have noticed that when we encounter a mailman he becomes especially fearful.

With some things I have read recently and some work I am doing in my own life a light went on. I think the reason he freaks out about the mailman is not because he is being protective but because he is terrified.

I see the same thing in my life. Certain experiences have led to various fears in my life and those fears help cause me to react in wrong ways.

I have fears about being abandoned. I have fears of relationships ending. I am just discovering how these fears influence my behavior. An example: why go to all the work of trying to build relationships with other men when they are just going to fall apart? And why would someone want to be my friend anyway?

So I am terrified and barking at the mailman.

Glad to hear your thoughts on either me or Bandit.

Philip

Procrastination

2011-10-29T07:43:00.000-06:00

What if my procrastination led to the death of some of my friends and family? That is a question I had to deal with this week.

Procrastination is one of my sins. That's not saying that putting off things is sinful but in my case sometimes it is. There are many things I do not do when they need to be done. In my misplaced priorities I get certain things accomplished I want to do each day while other more important things are not.

On our car the brake rotors were warped and needed to be replaced. It was a job I was going to do with supervision. The weeks and months went by as I always hoped for a better or more convenient time. The brakes worked okay; just a rumbling stop sometimes.

Well last weekend two friends, my son and I were coming back from a retreat near Woodland Park. It was a 90 mile drive, mostly on the highway at 75 mph. After dropping the two friends off, we soon noticed something was wrong. There was a strange noise and then another. We investigated but couldn't find the source. I drove on and soon my brakes went spongy. I pulled over and we looked for fluid leaks or something else. I decided to drive home slowly. After about a mile there was a grinding noise. Now it was apparent: a wheel bearing on the front was bad. Bad is too mild a word. It was seized and had almost burned and ground the retaining bolt away. If that had happened, the wheel would have come off.

All of a sudden, there was an incredible sense of protection. This catastrophic failure could have happened at a much less convenient place or it could have happened at 75 miles an hour. It could have been a fatal accident.

A sense of chastisement came: my stupid procrastination! Look at what almost happened. Over and over in my mind I replayed what happened and what could have happened. The car was at the repair shop Monday and Tuesday; it gave me a lot of time to think.

I was let off the hook a little when the mechanic told me that the brake rotor problem probably didn't cause the bearing problem. But I also knew that if the brake job had been done sooner then maybe the bearing would have been replaced or at least lubed better.

So did I learn my lesson? I will confess that I probably have not. Sure I will be more sensitive to brake issues in the future but my sin is much deeper than that.

I am learning something from the Samson Society meetings I go to. Here is the first step of the path I am learning to walk: ...I surrender to God in simple faith - making no promises but merely asking for His aid. So I know it will do no good to promise that I will never procrastinate again or to resolve to do better. I am a broken, messed up guy who needs God's help. I need a power that doesn't reside in me. I have no bootstraps to pull up.

I also have confessed my sin to other people. I admit that I need the strength of community and I want to break the power that secret sin has.

I also feel foolish. Isn't it ridiculous that I can't be better motivated or better organized so the to-do list gets done in a timely manner? That is where I need God's help. I need Him to help me do what is important. I need him and others to bring the resources that will help in that process. What I need is not more of me.

So this is my story and my confession. I am not victorious. I can't talk of the way I used to be. This is me right now. I trust God's grace and power will come into my life and make the changes that need to happen.

I would be glad to hear your input, especially if you have dealt with this sin yourself.

Philip

Drift - How did I get here?

2011-10-15T07:47:00.000-06:00

Drifting....

It was the stuff good stories are made of: a beautiful summer day, a raft, a lake and a few boys. What fun to play in the water and drift around on the raft. Time stands still or it passes. On this day both happened.

This lake was no pond. Marston Reservoir is near what we now call Southwest Plaza. When I drive by it my thoughts always go back to that summer day. I see how big it is and picture that day in my mind.

One thing that makes drift dangerous is that it is silent. We easily miss what is going on. I also think it is the opposite of intentional. To be intentional on that day could have meant riding a power boat very fast in a straight line. A clear goal helps: Where do we want to end up?

My life is full of drift. There are many things I need to do but days drift by and they remain undone. The oldest item on my to-do list is dated December 1, 2010. I have things I can do to promote my Handyman business that I do for awhile and then forget.

Two events in my life help correct my drift. One is a weekly Samson Society meeting where I meet with some other guys. It reminds me of the important things I need to do in my life. The other is a monthly business meeting where I am reminded of the principals of cultivating business by referral. Every week and every month I am reminded of the basic things.

The raft drifted and the boys played. Time passed and it was getting close to meal time. If they drifted to the opposite shore it was going to be a very long walk back. Stevie decided he was going to swim back to their starting point.

Another problem with drift is many times, when we realize where we have strayed, we over correct; a radical move to get back on track; a move that may make things worse. We forget the basic things - the fundamentals, and come up with a whole new plan. What we need is calm and appropriate correction.

Things could have been different that day. The boys could have joined together or taken turns and paddled back to their starting point. But that's not what happened. Stevie started swimming back; swimming way too far. Soon he was in distress, soon he disappeared.

Stevie's family was our old neighbors. He and my older brother were friends when they lived across the street. We visited their family at their new house sometimes.

I remember the next day the newspaper had a full page of pictures of the search. This was back when reporters and photographers wandered around looking for news. There were boats on the water, people who were watching and the one I remember the clearest: a picture of the hook they used to retrieve the body. For Stevie, his family and many others, time stood still that day.

One thing we can do to prevent drift is to have anchors in place. These are the fundamentals that keep us in line or that we go back to when we stray. The most important is Scripture. This anchor needs to be set daily because every day the world is trying to pull us its way. We need something firm to hold on to.

When drift is small it's not too hard to correct. As time goes on the distance back to shore can become almost insurmountable. Thankfully we have a God who can overcome the impossible if our stubbornness doesn't sink us.

Philip

Happy 33rd Anniversary Wendy

2011-10-14T06:40:00.000-06:00

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Today is my 33rd wedding anniversary. On October 14, 1978, I married Wendy. We have a lot to celebrate.

We have eight children that we get to see on this earth and four that died before they were born. We will see them someday in a much better place. That is the Faustin nation.

God has blessed us in so many ways. Through all the trials and tribulations of life, we have stayed together. It’s not always easy but the reward is huge.

I love my wife and appreciate the daily blessing she is to me.

I celebrate another anniversary today. On October 14, 1973, Jesus became my savior and lord. Here is my story.

I have much to be thankful for on this day. I thank you Jesus and Wendy for being in my life. Thanks to both of you for putting up with me. Thanks to both of you for not giving up on me. Thanks for loving me.

Philip

Castaway

2011-10-08T07:28:00.000-06:00

...but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be a castaway. 1 Corinthians 9:27

Why the body? 1 John 2:16 points out that the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes are the source of many problems. Think of the struggles in your own life. Don't many of them come from these two?

What really struck me about this verse is the castaway part. Many versions use the word disqualified. The word is used elsewhere in the New Testament as reprobate. It has a very strong meaning.

The great apostle Paul didn't have a casual view of what sin can do and even the capability of his own heart. He realized that diligence in spiritual discipline and battle was essential. He realized that he could spend years preaching about salvation and heaven and then end up missing out on it himself.

I wonder if we might see more holiness in the church if people didn't have a false sense of "eternal security". As things are now in many places, grace has been cheapened. Many have a sense that they can pretty much live however they want and God is obligated to let them into heaven because they prayed a sinner's prayer at some point or asked Jesus into their heart.

There will come a day of rude awakening for many people. Hopefully it will come before they enter eternity.

Philip

Burger King Religion

2011-10-01T07:02:00.000-06:00

"Have it your way!" Many people not only want food choices their way but also want the same pick and choose when it comes to God.

A couple of mornings ago I was reminded of this verse in my morning reading: Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. 2 Timothy 2:5

As Christians these days we bristle at the word rules; it seems so rigid. We like flexibility. When we are telling a pagan about God we want to avoid telling them about the rules. We don't want to tell them that if they are going to follow Jesus there are things they can no longer do.

But what is really on my mind is people who call themselves Christians but want to be the Burger King; they want to have it their way.

I think of some people I know of who divorced their spouses. It wasn't for the reasons that Scripture would allow. One even proclaimed they were "happily divorced" yet God says he hates divorce. These people are now preparing to marry someone new. In Scripture, God says they are going to commit adultery.

So what if we really believe the verse I mentioned above? What if people who decide to have it their way end up not getting the prize? Maybe the rules are important, inflexible and only broken with serious consequences.

Now I'm not saying that people lose their salvation when they sin; 1 John 2:1 shows that forgiveness is available. But there is much Scripture that makes it clear that once you are saved you may not always be saved. For that reason we need to be careful not only of how we live our own lives but of what we excuse in others.

Philip

ekklēsía

2011-09-18T20:23:00.000-06:00

The Greek word ekklēsía means "called out." In Scripture it is translated church, assembly or congregation.

God is calling us out of the world. Not just the ultimate of when we go to heaven but in our everyday lives.

So why is there such a movement to look, sound and act like the world? Do we show how "relevant" we are in this way?

Will the world flock to our church if the pastor is hip and the music sounds like what they are currently listening to?

Will the right facial hair and pair of glasses show we are cool? Do we need that certain pair of pants, shirt and "the look" to attract people to Jesus?

And what about things like TV, movies and music? Are we consuming the same things people of the world do, things that influence us in an ungodly way?

God is calling and he is calling us out. Seek to be like Jesus; imitate him and not some pagan celebrity, sports figure or rock star. Find out what it means to be an individual created in the image of God. When you succeed, know that you will be very unfashionable. The world may even hate you. But that's okay; Jesus has gone before us and many other godly witnesses too.

A sick and desperate world isn't looking for more of the same. The world will try to squeeze you into its mold but the people of the world are looking for Christians secure enough to live truth even when it's unpopular and costs a lot. They are looking for leaders and not lemmings.

Philip

Pat Robertson and the Popularity of Divorce

2011-09-17T07:30:00.000-06:00

Pat Robertson has brought evangelical thought on divorce to the forefront. If you are not aware of his latest dumb thoughts you can find the story here.

He basically said that it would be okay to divorce a spouse with Alzheimer's because they are essentially dead. I agree that Pat was way off on this one; nothing new for him.

Here is my thought on this. You would have a hard time finding an evangelical church anymore that hasn't flaked out on divorce. Some people would even contend that the divorce rate in the church is higher than outside.

In the church, people are divorcing like it's a change of clothes. Of course they act all serious like they have some grave situation but it gets down to being tired of living with a sinner and forgetting they are one too.

Jesus was so strict about divorce that the disciples, in astonishment said that maybe it is better not to get married. Adultery was the only allowable reason.

Today in our churches, people parade around as saints after divorcing a spouse, receiving much affirmation from their so-called friends. They can't point to adultery as the reason but have a litany of other "justifiable" reasons for their action. Many are the same lame reasons Jesus had in mind when he raised the bar that had fallen low.

The Bible is very clear on allowable divorce - shockingly so. It's also clear that if someone remarries after an "unbiblical" divorce they are committing adultery.

I think one big problem with the whole thing is that many Christian people are ignorant of basic biblical teaching and let the world shape their thoughts. Many pastors also wimp out on teaching the hard truths about divorce and remarriage because they fear the wrath of certain people. This combination leads to the landslide of divorce we now see.

So if we are going to shake our head about Pat Robertson then we may need to look a little closer at ourselves. We are not far behind him.

Philip

Why I Write

2011-09-05T21:38:00.000-06:00

As a child I had the need to put words on paper. I remember the small printing press in the toy catalog. I wanted it so bad. It never became mine.

I remember taking a stack of small notebooks my dad brought home from work and filling them with words and pictures. I then put them in our neighbor's mailboxes.

One time I bought set of alphabet rubber stamps. It was tedious but I could put my words on paper in what seemed like professional output.

I loved using my mom's manual typewriter. Erasable bond paper made it possible to fix the mistakes which were many and what a miracle the invention of correction paper was.

Years later, in my early twenties, a ministry I was involved with bought an offset printing press. I became the operator and was able to print whatever I wanted. It was the adult version of the toy printing press I desired but never had.

It's not just words that I put on paper but it’s my thoughts. Things are coming out of my brain that won't come out of my mouth but find their way through my fingers.

I write because I can't not write.

But there is a big problem: I squandered my education. I wasted the years when I had the opportunity to learn the art of writing. I am always wondering if people are put off by my writing by the way I write it. Are they correcting my grammar and punctuation in their mind as they read and wonder why I even try? And many times I accept the fact that few are reading at all. But it doesn't matter; I will still write.

So why would I want to go to a writer's conference? I should have my head examined to even think I could spend a few days with real writers. I hardly like to be with people in social settings anyway. Wouldn't this be even worse; the poser amongst the professionals?

I will allow myself a small dream. Maybe I could win a free trip. Maybe if I won and people knew how I got there, I could get by with it. Maybe they would take pity. Maybe they would understand. Maybe I could learn and as time goes by my writing would be worth reading.

And maybe what I say could help someone out. Maybe someone else could be inspired to walk closer with Jesus. Maybe they would be warned of dangerous things and ideas. Maybe the world would be a little better because I put words on paper.

Here is the writer's conference I am talking about:
Laity Lodge Writer’s Retreat

Philip

Do you know Absalom?

2011-09-05T07:24:00.000-06:00

Now it came about after this that Absalom provided for himself a chariot and horses and fifty men as runners before him. Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way to the gate; and when any man had a suit to come to the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, From what city are you? And he would say, Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel. Then Absalom would say to him, See, your claims are good and right, but no man listens to you on the part of the king. Moreover, Absalom would say, Oh that one would appoint me judge in the land, then every man who has any suit or cause could come to me and I would give him justice.
2 Samuel 15:1-4

Absalom was King David's son. As I read this today I was intrigued by the slickness of Absalom. He has issues with his dad and with God's authority. He was unhappy with the way things were and he was going to make things happen his way. He had improvements in mind.

I think we all know an Absalom and at times many of us have played his game. Maybe it's at work or at church or maybe it was on the playground as a child.

We have a plan; we have a vision for a better job or world or ministry or game. The only thing separating us from world dominion is that someone else is in charge.

Of course there are proper ways and channels to work for change but many times we look for the shortcut. We wouldn't say it out loud but we believe God is moving too slow.

So we take matters into our own hands. We look for the disgruntled. We start to highlight the flaws and shortcomings of those in charge. We make it look like we are on the side of those who haven't gotten all they wanted from whoever is charge be they a boss, church leader, etc. The truth is, it's all about us. We couldn't really care less for the welfare of those we are using to accomplish our objectives. And little do they know how neglected they will be once we are in charge.

Watch out for Absalom. He promises great things and he has great plans but it may not be God's plan or way or time. Watch out when someone flatters you and then asks you to join in their new venture. Watch out for the subtle way that authority is undermined. Don't be jumping on the latest bandwagon all the time. Watch out when the new thing will hurt the old thing.

Remember that all leaders are flawed. Yes, some of them are bad and need to be replaced but most are working hard to accomplish what they are supposed to do. Look for ways to support them. It's easy to tear things down but harder to build and maintain and usually less exciting.

Watch out for Absalom and you watch out for yourself.

Philip

My Story

2011-09-01T19:49:00.000-06:00

Last Sunday I was given the opportunity to tell my story in our Sunday school class. It's far from over and I have a long way to travel. I am glad I'm not where I was.

Philip Faustin's Testimony from Bear Valley Church on Vimeo.

Denver Samson Society

God is good! He makes beautiful thing from dust and out of us.

Philip

Coasting

2011-08-20T07:02:00.000-06:00

We like to coast. Pick up a little speed and then just roll along enjoying the scenery. Hills are great for this.

What I find on most of my bike rides is that after I go downhill I soon have another hill to climb. In many cases, the inertia of the downhill helps a lot with the uphill.

When riding with my sons I will try to convey this concept to them. "Pick up some speed, there is a hill coming." Many times I will look back to see Andy lounging his way down the hill, resting and enjoying the scenery. Then he ends up slowly torquing his way up the hill with no help from inertia.

Life is a lot like this. We love to coast. Things are going well, the scenery is great and we are enjoying the ride. Soon trouble appears and we are not ready. Exhaustion and defeat are probable results.

I think things like daily Bible reading and prayer are things we should always do. When we don't we are not equipped for the coming hills, trials, tribulations and disasters. We soon run out of gas. We panic. We look for help in the wrong places. We ask people to pray for us like all that is needed is a magic incantation to patch things up.

We need the daily rhythms of spiritual disciplines to prepare us for the ups and downs.

Life is hard. I many times find myself on a hill, wondering if this is where I will die. My strength is exhausted, I'm in the lowest gear I have, my muscles are burning and I’m spent. It's in those moments where I am many times surprised to find hidden strength. I hear the voice of Scripture. A prayer from long before for strength is answered. The amazing power of the Holy Spirit becomes available. And I make it over another hill.

But all along the road are casualties; I know many: people who coasted too long; people who forgot to pedal. People who thought it would always be a scenic and easy ride.

I know I could end up there too so I keep pedaling on the downhill. I try to keep a constant pace. I keep filling my mind with Bible thoughts to oppose the daily onslaught from the world, the flesh and the devil. I pray for myself and others that we might live a life pleasing to God.

I know another hill is coming. I hear the voice calling, "Pick up some speed!"

Philip

Emergency

2011-07-18T21:15:00.001-06:00

I get a message from my emergency phone number. Someone calling The Handymen. Not just leaving a message but calling the special number. They need help right away!

It's my neighbor. The power is out in half of his house. He wonders if I have the name of an electrician. He sounds desperate. He has done what he can; no help there.

It's not the kind of problem you want to leave or wait for tomorrow. The refrigerator is out and it's getting hot in the house. I know his wife is going through chemotherapy and the heat is hard for her to bear.

I tell him who I know about and hope he can get help soon. I'm then reminded to say a prayer. God can help in these type of situations too.

I'm reminded of one of our recent emergencies. The furnace quit working and freezing weather was on the way. I was glad to pay to get it fixed.

It seems in many emergencies we need other people. Wisdom and help come if we ask. It's not a time to keep to ourselves and try to take care of it alone. Even moral support goes a long way.

Maybe that's the gift in some of these situations. A certain bond us formed when you share your emergencies with someone else. Out of the terror comes a memory. Some pleasant and some we don't want to recall. If there us someone else to share that memory with, joy is doubled or sorrow is halved.

Philip

Violation

2011-07-17T06:49:00.001-06:00

I heard the car drive by and two sounds that were not good. Was it a small gun or a rock? Was it a drunk driver who clipped two cars? I looked out the window and then noticed it was around 3am. I made a note in my mind (which was quickly misplaced) to look around in the morning.

Well since I forgot about it, it wasn't until later in the day that the kids noticed the back window of our car was shattered and glass spread around the seats and interior of the car. It was probably a rock that did the damage.

Aside from thinking about how much it was going to cost to replace the window, I started to take it personal. I felt a sense of violation. Why did someone do this to our car? Were we a target or was it random? I tend to think random because the second sound I heard made me think the same happened down the street.

Some years ago my work van was broken into. It happened in a church parking lot during a Bible study. Several thousand dollars of tools were gone and my ability to make a living. I remember how violated I felt. I spent hours thinking about what tools were in each tool box so I could buy replacements. Just yesterday, when I was helping my son repair his faucet, I was reminded of some parts that I had before the break-in that would have made the job easier. I find that you never recover completely from these things either mentally or physically.

The biggest loss from the break-in was that I no longer had some tools that my dad gave to me. He was a plumber and had given me many tools for obscure jobs that you may only use once in ten years, but without them the job is much harder. I'm sure when my tools were pawned, those items were worth nothing as the criminals both behind and in front of the counter would have had no idea what they were or their value.

So the sense of violation comes not from the loss of the tool but that I lost a part of my dad. And in this latest incident the sense of violation comes from feeling that our street is not safe. Those same vandals or others may come down the street on any night and do the same or worse damage. I woke several times last night to strange sounds, wondering what they were.

In all of this I think of God. I know he is here and I know he was there when each of these crimes were committed. I know enough of his goodness so I don't ask the question, "Why did you let this happen." I also know that in my humanness, even without that question asked, I will feel the sting of these signs of a fallen world for a long time.

God is good; all the time! I long for the new heavens and earth where only righteousness dwells.

Philip

Change is Hard

2011-07-16T06:47:00.000-06:00

A friend lost a lot of weight very quick on one of the latest fad diets. Now she is depressed because she gained it right back.

It made me think about change. Change can be very hard. I sometimes think we look for the easy fix because we don't want to travel the hard road to lasting change. Other times it takes a crisis to force change. After a heart attack the doctor almost demands change. The person on the edge of diabetes is told of needed diet changes “or else”.

A friend of mine, Nate Larkin, said this, "Most of the time we will not change until it’s less painful to change than to stay the way we are." I find that to be true. I could quickly make a list of areas that need to change in my life. I fear the work involved and progress is not made; it's not even started. I'm waiting for a crisis.

Sometimes I think we avoid change because we fear what will be different. We fear what we will lose. As I thought about losing weight the biggest thought in my mind was the loss of eating what I wanted when I wanted. Did I really want that?

Sometimes we look at the huge list of changes we need to make and that scares us. How about taking one at a time?

I don't have an easy answer on this change thing. Most of the time it's going to involve some hard work and things will be different after. But one encouraging thing is it seems after the dust settles that we find the changes that were necessary to bring change are okay and sometimes great.

It could be that we sometimes avoid change and the work involved because of lies. The devil and others want us to stay in our old, messed up condition. All sorts of dire things go through our mind as we ponder change. It will be too painful, it will cost too much, or how will I live without my favorite drug or my favorite addiction.

And the biggest hindrance to good changes is we forget God. We think it's up to us alone. We forget that grace is amazing. We forget what can be accomplished with his help and power. We live like atheists.

Many times the voice we hear pushing us towards change is the Holy Spirit. The challenge then is to agree, to admit, to confess to God and others and to take the first step. Think about Peter when he walked on the water. He had to step out of the boat and then something amazing happened. His miraculous experience was then cut short as he looked around and let his fear take over. He forgot that Jesus had told him to come and that the miracle was from God, not him or nature.

Facing the need for change? Have your own ideas and ways failed? Are fear and discouragement about past failures or the unknown paralyzing? Well it's Jesus calling. He says come. Look straight to him and take that first step. Then keep your eyes fixed on him. The change will be amazing.

Philip

Sunshine, Storms and Fears

2011-07-04T19:44:00.000-06:00

A day starts out good - really good. Then out of nowhere things change; from bright sunshine to stormy clouds, thunder and lightning.

Later in a book I'm reading, I come across some information on the almost complete failure of long term weight loss. Don't we all know people who always seem to be on a diet? Weight is lost and then soon or over time it comes back with even more.

This is particularly concerning to me. I lost 70 pounds in the last year. I knew I didn't just need to lose weight but needed to change my lifestyle. That is what I did but it’s scary to think that old behaviors and habits could return.

Sometimes it seems we control very little about our life. There is so much external stuff that comes along that pushes us in all the wrong directions. Pity the person who thinks it's all a matter of willpower. If it is, then most of us are sunk. I can hardly control my moods let alone the rest of my life.

The only consolation I have is that I belong to the one who holds the world in his hands. He is working to accomplish good in my life. He can do the stuff that needs to be done so moods don't rule my life, so other people and all their junk done mess up my life and so I can continue in the good changes he has brought to my life.

Rambling thoughts but that's what is up with me today.

Philip

P.S. Otherwise a very nice day.

We Need Redemption

2011-06-26T06:51:00.000-06:00

We had such high hopes for ourselves and others. Then sin messed it all up.

We believe in redemption but almost only in a one time way. I have salvation now; my child is saved now. We forget that we need it every day.

So our memory loss has us saying to Jesus: "Thanks, but I'll take it from here." We polish the exterior but forget that the inside will never be truly good; at least this side of eternity.

I wanted my life to be different from the day I came to Jesus. That somehow from that day there would be no more sin, no more mess ups. I believed the lie that I could keep myself good. Reality crushed that illusion.

We need a Savior all day and every day. Our children will need the same. All of us are in the same boat. Every family is messed up no matter how spiffy they look on the outside. No parent is perfect. No child is either. This life will be one tragedy, one devastating situation, one act of rebellion after another. We need redemption all day and every day.

The lies of perfection we believe are the devil's tools to disconnect us from others. Shame over what is going on behind the scenes push us to isolation and to that age old Garden of Eden behavior of covering up.

It's in these times, which are all day and every day that we need other people. In confessing our sins one to another we admit that we are not perfect. We admit that we are like everyone else. We admit that we live under the remnants of a curse. We admit that we can't be the savior in our own life or in that of our children or anyone else.

There is only one Savior. Jesus is ready to forgive us each moment; he is ready to work redemption into the cracks and crevices of our lives.

Don't believe the lies; don't hide; don't be intimidated into silence. Rip off the mask, admit the truth, and once again experience the power of redemption. Not one time but all day and every day.

Philip

A Cathedral of Trees and Praise

2011-06-23T06:28:00.000-06:00

I start my mornings on the front porch now. I make coffee and put out bird seed. I hope the song birds get it before the squirrels.

There is something different here. This is God's place. Not that He isn't in the house but it's different out here. The birds present a symphony of praise. The trees raise their branches in praise. All of nature screams of God.

The green of the grass and leaves, the blue sky and the brown dirt; just common colors but beautiful. I can't even begin to name the colors of all the flowers. I would need that huge box of crayons to help.

All of nature...except one. Me and you. Mankind. We are different. We resist. We don't praise.

Busyness closes our eyes to blessings. Competing things. Numbing things.

Shake off the slumber. Look around. God is good. He is great! Even with all our troubles our lives are immensely blessed. We should be screaming - with the trees and birds and the rest of creation.

But at this hour, my screams will be silent, in my heart, lest my family and neighbors think I have gone mad.

Join me.

Philip

A Different and Less Difficult Hill

2011-06-22T20:50:00.000-06:00

Today was hot but a bike ride sounded good. I didn't know where I would end up but I decided to head west. That way it's uphill there and mostly downhill back.

I would be alone. Matt and Andy had other things going. I miss them when they don't come. Without them I will pedal my fastest. My heart will beat hard and my breathing will be fast.

I start near Sheridan and Evans in Denver. Soon I am on Jewell nearing Kipling. I look ahead to a hill I rode up as a teenager. At that time it seemed steep and long. Not so much now.

After a day at work, my legs are tiring early. The hill I just dismissed as easy is proving to be a little more. I persist and soon it is behind me. The last time I rode that hill was 40 years ago. I think I did it faster this time.

Fifteen years old, on the way to my friend’s house and probably up to no good.

If Jesus hadn't come into my life things would have been much different now - in a bad way. I know the path I was on. It wouldn't have ended in a good place. I know many people who stayed on that bad path. I can see in their lives what only the mercy and grace of God spared me from.

I am very thankful.

Philip

Who Hates God?

2011-06-20T11:25:00.000-06:00

Man is now only free to be what he is - a sinner who hates God.

I heard this line in a bible study video I was watching yesterday. It was referring to the condition of man after the fall. I don't think I agree with it.

I know it fits with the whole total depravity thing that is popular in Calvinistic or Reformed circles.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think unregenerate man is someone pretty or who has it halfway together. It just seems some people go farther than they should in their descriptions.

I think of myself: from as far back as I can remember, I wanted to follow God. Not that I did though. Yes I was ignorant and rebellious and on my way to he'll. But, I don't think I hated God. If anything I was indifferent to what I really needed to do.

I think of children who are rebellious: do they hate their parents? Not necessarily. They are ignorant and self-centered for sure.

There are some people who are God haters. I wonder about the person at NBC who bleeped out the words "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance during the US Open this weekend. Or the so called atheists who spend all their time denying and fighting against someone who doesn't exist. They may hate God.

So man after the fall was in bad shape and in need of a Savior but not all God haters, at least in the way we define hate. That's what I think at least.

Philip

Father's Day Weekend Thoughts

2011-06-18T07:18:00.000-06:00

It's Father's Day weekend. I stretch it bigger by getting up earlier.

I'm thinking of my dad and what a great father he was. In today's language that would mean he did a lot of things with me, told me he loved me and was involved in my life.

If I wanted to paint a bad picture of my dad I could complain that I never remember him doing those things, at least when I was little. The only thing I remember him and I doing alone was me going to work with him. That was mostly because I was a huge troublemaker at home and it gave my mom a break when I was gone.

Until I was way into adulthood and a father myself I never remember him telling me that he loved me.

And I don't remember him being involved in MY life.

I use the word remember a lot because I know things may have happened that I don't remember. I am accused of not doing things by my own kids sometimes and I could counter by saying, "You just don't remember."

Perception is huge. The glasses we look through color everything we see.

I could never stop speaking well of my dad. Not that he was perfect or won father of the year. He had his problems like the rest of us. Some of them from his past were pretty big. He did better as he got older - like the rest of us, at least as we should.

My dad was good as a father and as a man because he did the important things. He did love his kids, just not in the way kids sometimes measure it. He went to work and kept a roof over our head. He stayed with my mom even with her chronic health problems. He became a struggling father when my mom died while my brother, sister and I were in our teens. He kept on, day after day.

Thankfully when I was a kid, society didn't enforce the egocentric nature of kids. We weren’t taught that it was all about us. Not that we didn't think that, we just didn't get reinforcement from the "experts".

So anyway, that's a little about my dad. Tomorrow I will post my official tribute, the one I gave at his funeral.

I am a dad too. I love my kids and try to be a good dad - whatever that means. I'm sure their perception is different. There is probably a lot of what I have done that they don't remember and a lot they would like to forget.

I have eight children: six boys and two girls from 29 years old to 10 and all from the same mother who I have been married to for 32 years.

Oh by the way, I hear that some people want to do away with Father's Day. They say it is discriminatory and makes kids without fathers feel bad. More idiocy from the experts.

Well, it's Father's Day weekend. I will ride bikes and eat food with my two youngest today. Hopefully it will be fun for them. Hopefully something in this day will convey my love for them and hopefully they will pick up a little of the good that is in me.

Here is an old picture of the kids I have been blessed to be a father to.

Philip

The “homeless” guy on the corner

2011-05-23T20:19:00.000-06:00

I’m told that his name is Chris. He has been on a corner near our house for several years. He moves to a different one once in a while. He’s been on my prayer list for a year and a half. I pray for healing of his mind and that he would come to know Jesus.

Yesterday I was on a walk to the grocery store and saw him on his regular corner. I decided I would try to talk to him. I asked him how it was going and he said not good. I asked what and he said no one was stopping and giving to him. He also said he had a horrible headache.

I decided I would get him something to drink in the store. Then I decided I would get him a sandwich too. On my way back home I asked him if he wanted something to eat and drink. He said he would take it and then told me that he couldn’t eat – his stomach upset from the headache. I said he should try to drink something but he said he couldn’t. I suggested maybe he could try a little sip but he said no. He then told me that the only thing that would help is if he got an IV from the doctor and that it cost $20.00 and he didn’t have that.

I talked to him a little more. I told him I was sorry for his condition. As I walked away I saw him drop the sack of food and drink in a bush. He then went back to his corner.

I wondered after if the “doctor” was a drug dealer? I know that when going through withdrawal, food and drink are far from your mind. Maybe that is part of his problem.

I now have more to think about as I pray for him. I’m glad that I didn’t give him money. He needs more that I can give to him. He needs Jesus.

Philip

Radical or Not...?

2011-05-19T04:48:00.000-06:00

I recently watched a series called Radical by David Platt. There is a book by the same name. While I agree with much of what was said in the series, I do think that his conclusions could cause false guilt for those who don't have a broad understanding of Scripture.

To sum up what the series was about: we are rich and should give most of what we have to the poor. His main text for the series is Mark 10: 17-31 - the story of the rich young ruler.

I hesitate to criticize his message because for the most part, the American church is very materialistic. I wouldn't want my comments to be an excuse for the baby to be thrown out with the bath water.

What I write here will not be an exhaustive review of the series and I will not cover all the good and bad things I see in it. Just a few comments of what's foremost in my mind.

What I agree with: yes we in America have a lot and for the most part are materialistic. Me too!

What I disliked most: taking various Scripture passages and either reading too much into them or taking huge leaps from them. Here is an example: he cites passages from the Old Testament showing that God's blessings made many rich. He then shows New Testament passages where possessions were used to help the poor. He then leaps to make the case that the difference is that in the OT God used the lavish blessing of His people to draw others to Himself and in the NT He used the sacrifice of His people to bless and draw others to Himself. Therefore it is now wrong to have riches. I don't accept that. Both examples are true but not exclusive to their times or 180 degrees opposite.

Early in the series we were encouraged to not try to get off the hook by comparing ourselves to others. I don't have as much as someone else; I give more than someone else, etc. Then he uses the comparison of us rich Americans compared to all the poor around the world. His conclusion is we are the rich who should probably sell most of what we have and give it to the poor.

He makes a claim from the story of the rich young ruler that riches cause us to become self-confident, self-sufficient and self-content. Remember, he reminds us, everyone of us is rich. While riches may do this, it’s a leap to say they always do.

In one place he gives a hypothetical: someone makes 10 million dollars and gives away 9 million. Platt says that would not be extravagant giving. Who says? The problem is that he has come to the false conclusion that in New Testament times it is impossible for God to bless someone with excess for pure pleasure. While I can’t imagine having 10 or 1 million dollars, I do know what it is like to have 25 dollars in my pocket. That is my allowance each week. I can do whatever I want with it. Or maybe I should feel guilty for that excess and give it to someone else.

Another thing I really disliked was the assertion that if we question (what is wrong with having stuff for example) it shows a bad heart. I disagree. We may have a bad heart but if we are being asked to do something radically opposed to what we are doing now then thoughtful wrestling through questions is appropriate.

In his final message he gives the challenge for us to look at what we have and identify if it is a necessity or a luxury. Assumed is that everything beyond food, clothing and shelter is not necessary. We should then consider selling all of the extra and giving it the poor. Then we should put a cap on our spending; everything beyond necessities is given to the poor.

While all of this self-examination is good I think his conclusion as applied to everyone is in error and dangerous. Dangerous for those who don't have a broad view of Scripture and prone to living under guilt.

So here are some of my luxuries: the computer I write this on, Internet access, coffee, the flowers I planted in the yard, perfume, my recliner, iPod, books, magazines, tools, electric blanket, my smoker, food above beans and rice, a gold wedding ring and muck more. I don’t have the money for big time expensive hobbies, a retirement account, various insurance plans, a fancy car, spacious house, or expensive dinners but I can sure be jealous of those who do.

I really wish Platt's challenge would have finished differently as we really need the heart of what he is getting at. Many people will reject it outright and not progress farther than they are now. Many with a good understanding of Scripture will see his stretched conclusions and reject his whole message. That's too bad. The heart of what he is getting at is good but some of his conclusions are beyond what Scripture calls all of us to.

The last thing is that I think there are many other areas where Jesus calls us to radical obedience that Platt neglects, at least in this series. With the rich young ruler, the issue was his heart and his love of possessions. The heart issue Jesus hits others with may be completely different. For many people it's nothing to give away money but they may have a problem with loving the admiration of people. Jesus may call them to take a position on an issue that will cause people to hate them. What matters is that we do what Jesus says and he says a lot more than caring for the poor. We have to be careful that our pet project or calling doesn't become the criteria we judge others by.

An issue dear to my heart is abortion. I could apply many of Platt's arguments to being a prolife activist. How can the church and the people in it barely conjure a yawn when millions of babies are slaughtered every year? That is my example of somewhere we could be radical and I think it is right up there with concern for the poor. At least the poor are alive and have the opportunity to improve their life.

Well those are my basic thoughts. Yes, I will spend time asking God if there is more I should give as David Platt suggests. That is always good. But I will not be motivated by guilt or biblical gymnastics and I will not be afraid to question.

Philip

Ultimate (bad) Breakfast Platter

2011-05-18T06:22:00.000-06:00

I stopped at Burger King yesterday for a cup of coffee (and nothing else). I was intrigued by their breakfast menu especially the Ultimate Breakfast Platter. It is the kind of breakfast I loved before I changed eating habits; never mind that I was usually lethargic after.

I pulled out my IPod and opened a nutrition app. I soon found out that this breakfast wonder has 1310 calories. Bad unless you are going to hardly eat anything the rest of the day. The real damage comes from fat, sodium and cholesterol.

Here is the bad news based on a 2000 calorie diet: 72 grams of fat; 65 is the max. 455 mg of cholesterol; 300 is the max. 2490 mg of sodium; 2400 is the max although the FDA is now recommending 1500. So the Ultimate is not a very good breakfast choice.

Breakfast is a very important meal and one that should not be skipped. It also shouldn’t be one that starts the day off bad nutrition wise.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

2011 Men's Retreat - 2

2011-05-15T07:11:00.000-06:00

My view this morning

“It is easy to find good teaching on how a man should live but it is hard to find a man who is living it”. That was a comment by one of the young guys at the retreat. Ouch!

But how true; I see it in myself. I know what the right thing to do is in many areas but my life doesn’t match my knowledge. Then there is the myriad of areas where I am clueless.

I then wondered if the guy he is looking for even exists. Is there a guy at church or out there anywhere else who has it all together? Now there are plenty who would proclaim so. There was a time in my life when I would have thought so for me.

Or is the lesson somewhere deeper? If the perfect, all together guy doesn’t exist then maybe we need something else.

Some years ago we went to a church with a near perfect pastor with a near perfect family. If they had any flaws, they must have been miniscule – at least that is what they portrayed. The message sent to the rest of us was if we were not like them it was because we didn’t really love the Lord Jesus or maybe we didn’t take Scripture seriously.

As you might guess, it didn’t take a lot of probing to see what was really there. The pastor surrounded himself with brown-nosed yes men. Disagreement of substance was not tolerated. If you felt different then you probably better find a different church.

An almost comedic example of the charade was what happened with the pastor’s daughter who married the youth pastor and then was divorced. Oh, I should probably mention that the pastor’s family was all employed by the church including son-in-laws. Anyway, a divorce might mar the near perfect illusion this pastor enjoyed. The daughter’s marriage was annulled and they went through remaining copies of the church directory and removed the page that had the daughter and ex-son-in-law. It was all as if it never happened. Some time later she married another guy and he too became a church employee.

So the perfect guy/mentor probably doesn’t exist. Maybe what we need to look for is a guy who knows how to get up after he falls. A guy who can be honest with the reality of his struggles. A guy who may have some areas together and we can learn a lot from him there. A guy who presses on when life gets tough. A guy who works hard to keep his marriage together. A guy who knows how to go to work day after day when he doesn’t feel like it. A guy who will expose his failings so I can learn what not to do.

So what I need is a messed up guy like me. Not perfect or all together but drawing close to the one who is perfect. That is the guy who can help me. I will never be perfect or have it all together so I can identify with him. I can be honest with what is really going on in my life. I won’t have to fake it when I’m around him. He understands and helps me get up after I fall.

And maybe I can be that guy to someone else.

Philip

2011 Men's Retreat - 1

2011-05-14T06:13:00.003-06:00

A view to the south

What does it mean to be masculine? That was the question asked. The weekend will probe and reveal the answer.

What stood out to me last night was a point made that one way a boy shows a transition from boy to man is in service. He goes from being cared for and served by his mother to caring for, serving and protecting women.

I don't like to be served all that much but I sure don't like to serve, especially if it's inconvenient. If I can fit it into my schedule or routine I may.

So in that way I have not made that defined transition from boy to man and I'm 55. In that way I am stunted.

I get the point though and I get why. Having men like that will make a much better society.

May God help me be the man.

Philip

Appearances

2011-05-10T21:02:00.000-06:00

Things are not always what they appear to be. Sometimes our eyes deceive us.

I am amazed that I needed to lose 70 pounds. When I set out to lose weight I knew I needed to lose 50 and probably a few more than that. My problem was I didn’t know what a pound of fat looked like or all the places it was hiding in my body. Now I have a better idea.

I had become so used to being overweight that I couldn’t remember what it was like before. Now my vision is becoming a little clearer and my memory is coming back. I remember in my young twenties when I joined a gym. I wanted to lose about 15 pounds. I weighed about 155. Life sidetracked me and year by year that number grew. If I had lost that weight I would have been where I am now.

Even my wife has no memory of me not being overweight. When we got together I was at that point of needing to lose 15 pounds. For her, my present appearance is something she has never seen.

This week I was replacing some fence posts. As I picked up the 50 pound bags of cement I was reminded of the extra weight I was carrying around - all day and every day. How thankful I am to God for helping me get where I am today.

So appearances can deceive. There are many other areas of my life that may look good on the outside or where my vision has become dull over time. I am thankful that God keeps pulling me along and conforming me into his image.

Here is a Latin saying I aspire to: Esse quam videri. It means To be rather than to seem. That's what I want in my life. I want to be the real thing and have clear vision of what I am - both good and bad.

Philip

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Tribute to my Mom

2011-05-08T05:49:00.000-06:00

My experience with motherhood was different from many people. I was given up for adoption as a baby. I was adopted at three months old by Al and Ida Faustin. So I never knew who my birth mother was and never really cared. My parents were incredible so maybe that is why I didn’t look back. I have always been thankful that abortion was not common in my birth year like it is today. If it had been, I probably would not have survived.

My mother Ida could not have children. She always had various medical problems and as a result lost the ability to give birth herself. Yet, she desperately wanted to be a mother. My dad and she adopted three children. I was in the middle. An interesting thing is that the earliest memory I have is being at the orphanage when we got my sister. I would have been about three years old. I have several snapshots in my mind from that time. One was going through the orphanage looking at different kids; one was sitting in a courtroom and another of my new sister in the front seat between my mom and dad looking back at my brother and me when we took her home. She had a huge smile on her face.

My mother was sick a lot. She had rheumatic fever as a child and many other health problems. From what I heard, there were many surgeries and hospitalizations. As a child, I remember many of those. It seemed that even when she was home, much of the time she wasn’t very well. I’m sure that made it very hard to be the mother she always wanted to be.

My mom died when I was 16. That changed things dramatically around our house. It made the job harder for my dad but I know he did everything he could to provide structure and care for us. I am absolutely thankful for the parents God provided for me. They were devoted to God and to their family.

Here is a line from a poem that many of us have heard: The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. Here is the rest of it:

They say that man is mighty,
He governs land and sea,
He wields a mighty scepter
O'er lesser powers than he.
But a mighty power and stronger
Man from his throne has hurled:
For the hand that rocks the cradle
is the hand that rules the world.
-William Wallace

What truth! Be thankful for a good mother. And something so important for today is for us to recognize and support motherhood. It’s value has been diminished both in and out of the church. We need to bring it back.

Even Mother’s Day has been diluted in the church. Something that bugs me is that it is not the big deal it used to be. There may be a mention but then we get on to other things. Or, it is broadened to cover all woman because we don’t want to exclude the infertile, the childless-by-choice, the single, etc. Sorry, it’s Mother’s Day and there is a reason for that.

So I give tribute to my mother and to the mother of my children. The world is a different and better place because of the job they have done.

Philip

Sharing Jesus at Work

2011-05-07T05:42:00.013-06:00

I read this yesterday and thought it was very good.

Here are a few suggestions to help you proclaim Christ in your place of work:

Work in ways that show you're a competent employee. A poor employee doesn't have much of an opportunity to be a good witness.

Always act ethically. If you don't, please don't tell anyone you're a Christian, and certainly don't try to get them to be like you.

Relate with care, concern, and fairness to all customers and fellow employees. Be especially attentive to this matter if you're in management.

Be respectful of the right of fellow employees to their own beliefs. Respect begins with listening.

As opportunities for conversation arise, talk with ease about what your faith means to you. Don't let proclaiming Christ degenerate into "arguing about religion." Let your fellow workers know how your faith helps you.

From God's Man by Don Aycock

This fits too:
Preach the gospel wherever you go; when necessary, use words.
~Saint Francis of Assisi

Philip

Naked and Unashamed

2011-04-30T06:31:00.000-06:00

We all want to be naked. We all want to go back to the garden where nothing was hidden. Instead, we all do a lot of work covering ourselves with fig leaves.

The world is obsessed with sex but what we really want is to be naked with someone and unashamed. To lay in the darkness; to know that this person next to me knows me and still loves me.

I want friendship where I am transparent. I want people to know everything about me and to still love me. Or even just one person.

I am afraid. I am filled with shame. I am a lousy person. I am not competent. I am a failure. I am a sinner. I have committed big sins. You don't know how bad I really am. There are many reasons to cover with leaves.

Fig leaves; they come in many styles and sizes. We all look very fashionable but inside we hurt - big.

I want to be naked.

Philip

Love Wins or Jesus Wins?

2011-04-26T15:29:00.000-06:00

Good contrast on the Rob Bell controversy regarding hell.

First video is his ad for the new book. Second is a creative, thought for thought response.

Love Wins?

Jesus Wins!

Thanks to Randy Alcorn for a tip on the second.

Philip

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T05:55:00.000-06:00

I am not a Calvinist and I don't believe in eternal security. That means I believe I cooperated with God on my salvation and I know I could walk away.

I didn't do anything to earn my salvation. I said yes. I followed. Yes it's very mysterious and miraculous. I don't understand exactly how it happened but I do understand the theology completely. So much so that my family was once thrown out of a church and I was publicly branded as a heretic because I disagreed with Calvinism.

On eternal security, I don't believe salvation comes and goes and I don't live in fear of losing it. But I do believe that if you willingly mess with sin enough, you just might end up walking to a point of no return. Again I don't know the fine points of how it would happen but I know the theology.

The point here is not to bring debate. People disagree and on these two sometimes violently. I will not debate it here but I want to celebrate.

Thank you Jesus for what you did for me. I know I barely realize what you - God - went through to be born into this earth and what it was like for you to suffer one of the most horrific tortures and deaths possible.

For the joy set before you, you endured the cross. You looked forward to me. You rejoiced that we could and would be reconciled.

I know I have a long way to go but I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you. Thank you that you are changing me and minimizing the trail of damage that follows me.

Despite the lingering effects of sin I am a restored son of the Sovereign Lord. Thank you that you loved me before I came to you and that you love me now, even in times of active rebellion.

Thank you for making Easter more than ham, eggs and bunnies. Thank you for making my life something that at times seems impossible. Thank you for Lasagna.

I love you,

Philip

Here is my conversion story.

Obsession

2011-04-17T11:55:00.001-06:00

I love the smell of Obsession...but that is not what I'm going to write about today. But since we are here I must say that with all my good feelings toward Obsession both the Man and Woman versions they are mere teenagers in the grown up world of scent. I love the complex and multi-layered smells of Incense Rose or L'Air Du Desert Marocain by Andy Tauer or how about Timbuktu by L’Artisan Parfumeur or Cozé or Rien? But now I'm obsessing. I love things that smell good. Food, flowers and skin all go there or not. In the last couple of years, through gifts and tips I amassed a small fortune in fragrance. As I run it through my mind it is close to a thousand dollars that the shelf of bottles next to my bed represents. It is a treasure of fragrance that will last for many years. Speaking of treasure, frankincense and myrrh were two gifts given to the Christ child; two things to burn or wear because they smell good. And what about the woman who anointed Jesus with expensive perfume? It was worth close to a year’s wages. Obsessive behavior? The religious leaders and Judas thought so. It could have been given to the poor...

Obsession. The first time I was accused of it was in December of 1973. I had been a Christian for only weeks. My life had flipped a 180. It was as if the sound of skidding tires were heard for blocks and the wheels were cranked tight as the car spun around and roared off in the opposite direction.

There was a young girl I was attracted to and she felt the same. I had heard she was a Christian. We shared some times together. Then one night came the words that sounded a lot like accusations of obsession. I should slow down. I didn't need to be moving so fast in this Jesus direction. Well as you might guess that was the end of that.

With tires spinning (and heart hurting) I continued on. Even as a baby in the faith, I knew where I had come from even though I didn't know where I was going. My obsession with Bible reading had informed my changing mind that this Jesus thing was worth going all out for. The path was narrow and few would find the way - that's what Jesus said. No more leisurely broad road for me. If you want to read more about that story and see the pictures click here.

So fast forward thirty-some years: I have a family and a good job. I haven't done well with either; lots of mistakes and regrets. Many miles are behind me. One of the things that deeply bothered me was that I had become very overweight and food had become an obsession. I know it but I have neither the will nor power to change it. Then something happens. I'm not sure why or how but the day has come. Where do my will and the hand of God collide? All I know it was like my conversion so many years before. Miraculous. I am going in another direction. I confessed to myself, God and others: I need to lose weight - at least 50 pounds. I have no idea how but I am moving in the opposite direction. I am losing weight. This all started about 37 weeks ago. Interesting as I think about it, I have been a Christian for 37 years. All of that time overweight. A little at first, just a few pounds - barely noticeable and very acceptable. As the years passed the pounds increased and so did my shame. I had an obsession with food and had no will or power to do anything about it.

I have now lost 70 pounds. I started at 211 and am now at 140. That's almost a third. Again I am accused of obsession. When will I stop? Actually that is a matter of prayer. I still have a small amount of belly fat. It's called VAT (visceral adipose tissue) and makes you at risk for type 2 diabetes, coronary vascular disease, and some types of cancer amongst other bad things. That was news to me. I used to think all fat was the same but apparently this kind is significant.

So I want to finish well and stay well. I don't want to get close and quit. I don't want to leave the fat, even a small amount especially this kind.

Obsession? I see it as cooperation with God. He has given me grace and power to walk this road. I will not take that lightly. I will cooperate with him until I reach the place He wants me to be. I will not be content with close or good enough.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Got Suffering?

2011-04-03T07:40:00.000-06:00

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5

So comfort and suffering should be ours in abundance? The latter sure goes against the American dream. I know I have had some of both but I'm not sure I have ever had serious suffering. I hear about what people in other countries go through for believing in Jesus and I can't compare it to what I have experienced.

One thing for sure, there is grace to help us through the hard times and going through them with a brother in arm sure helps, especially if that person has walked the path before.

Another thing is that life has enough trouble without our stupid stuff adding to it. Drugs, alcohol, bad friends and bad decisions will surely add more sorrow to life. Walk slowly and choose carefully.

Look around for a hurting person who could use a little comfort. Remember what it felt like to have an arm around your shoulder when you were hurting and then pass it on.

Philip

Losing Weight - The good and bad

2011-04-02T07:36:00.001-06:00


My wedding ring

For years I had not been able to wear my wedding ring. It had become too small for my finger. No, my finger was too big for it. A little over half way through my weight loss journey I remembered the ring. I dug it out of my drawer and cautiously slipped it on. With joy I could again wear it.

One of the first things that changed when I started eating less was my heartburn was gone. Previously I could not sleep at night unless I took an antacid.

Another change was snoring. My wife tells me I don't snore anymore. The kids say they sometimes hear it but for sure the bone-shaking noise is gone.

A bad thing about losing weight is that I have had to buy new clothes - something I don't like to do. My waist went from 36 to 31. I kept my belts but have had to make new holes and cut off the ends. My beloved jean jacket no longer fits.

I have noticed that having lost so much insulation, I am much colder. A good thing is that I don't sweat like I did before. Even in the winter, the smallest exertion at work would lead to profuse sweating. In the summer my shirt was soaked most of the day. My forehead was like a waterfall that I had to continually mop.

My energy level has increased. I had forgotten what it was like not to feel tired and weary. Even walking up the stairs from the basement left me winded. Now I can beat my kids in a foot race. That is small compared to having more energy at work. It hasn’t helped my pitching though. Recently my attempt to pitch a ball to Andy was met with the comment, “Let me guess, this wasn’t your favorite sport in school.”

My life has changed. Or maybe it has returned to what I once had. The slow increase of pounds through the years robbed me of many things. Such slow change is hardly noticeable - that's the problem. I learned to live with many bad things, not realizing they didn't have to be that way.

Having lost 69 pounds now, I am amazed and shocked at what I had grown to tolerate. Thankfully I hadn't yet experienced major health problems caused by excess weight but I am sure that was right around the corner.

God gets the glory in all of this. I know that all of the determination I possess was not enough to sustain me. It was grace and power from God that has kept me going for eight months and that will enable me to continue the rest of my life with the good changes that have happened in my life.

Well that's my story so far.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Afraid of Intimacy

2011-03-26T07:56:00.000-06:00

We are natural loners who have recognized the dangers of isolation and are determined to escape them. This is a line from the reading we do at a meeting of the Samson Society. It's something I recognize about myself. Movies many times dramatize the loner; the tough guy who does it his way and doesn't need other people. As a Christian man I know it's not a good thing so I fight to change.

A subject of discussion at my Samson meeting last night was intimacy. I recognized something about myself and I think it's connected to being a loner: I am afraid of intimacy. It's something I crave but fear keeps it away.

Why would someone want to be my friend or be close to me? That's something I hear in my mind regularly. I think the fear of intimacy causes me to hold people at a distance. Or maybe it's the fear of rejection.

This isn't one of those stories where I talk about how I was and how it was fixed. It's one where I reveal where I am broken. No fix in sight.

When there is distance between me and others or even between my wife and I, I don't know how to fix it. The result is usually a widening gulf. Sometimes it gets fixed, sometimes not. As I think about it, if people move toward me I can relate to them but I have a hard time being the initiator. I hear and read about how to make relationships better but those skills continue to elude me. As you can guess, it doesn't usually end well.

So that’s what’s on my mind and this is my confessional.

Philip

In the midst of his pursuits

2011-03-18T06:59:00.000-06:00

Awake in the middle of the night, I was recalling some Scripture. "But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position; and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away." James 1:9-11

Here is the line that is caught in my mind: "so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away." It reminds me of the common interview question, "What do you want to be doing when you die?" This guy’s answer is that he was trying to make more money.

Money does determine a lot of what we do; we need it to live. But it needs to be in its right place. We use it, it doesn't rule us.

What we want to be doing when we die (and live) is to glorify God. It's not some huge thing we aspire to; it starts in the next moment, right now. Don't get caught up in the religious words and concepts. It can be easy. Do the simple things that make God smile.

Philip

My small God

2011-03-17T06:15:00.001-06:00

I am nearing the end of my weight loss journey. Another pound or two and I will be done. I see some fat left, my wife says it is just skin. I want all excess fat gone and I want it to stay that way. To God be the glory for the great thing He has done.

To have lost 64 pounds is something beyond my wildest dreams. Once in a while I would think about losing weight but my mind would quickly change channels. I now realize the problem was that the BIG god in my life was me. I thought it was up to me. I was limited by my ability. It scared me to think of my inability to change. I forgot what God could do. He was small and me was big. What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?" Philippians 4:13

I want to be a follower of Jesus and have Him in control of all of my life. It really bothered me that I had such a big area in my life that I couldn't change. That was the problem - I/me. I had made God small. He was too little to help me.

I am now greatly encouraged to let God be God. Shouldn't there be a power in my life beyond all the self-help, I can do it crap the world promotes as the way to get it done. Shouldn't the power of the Holy Spirit mean and do something beyond just being a nice religious phrase? Shouldn't I be able to confront other problem areas of my life with confidence that if change needs to happen then God can bring it about?

It's mysterious how God and I fit together on all this. I know that I have a part. There are things I must do to cooperate. In weight loss I had to make daily decisions to eat less and differently. I had to track what I ate so I knew if I was on track. The scale became the judge of my progress. I will have to continue in these behaviors so I don't drift back to where I was.

But, it isn't just me. There has been something sweet and awesome going on. God has done what I can't. He has changed my desires. I haven't had to grit my teeth and pull myself up by my own bootstraps. I have become different; I have become new in this area. The old is passing/has passed away.

I celebrate this victory but tomorrow is a new day. There is plenty of other stuff in my life that needs to change; the other things I hide from; the areas where God is still small. The other things I am trying to overcome by willpower; by my strength. Wouldn't it be nice if a lesson learned in one area was automatically applied everywhere else?

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

It Shouldn’t Be This Way

2011-03-14T21:30:00.000-06:00

The boy tells the story to his mother and cries in between words. Really he’s not a boy as he will soon be 20. Yet many times he wishes he was just a boy with a much simpler life, but as all older people know, you can never go back to that place.

He has two sisters who are estranged from their family. He tries to hold on to them, knowing it shouldn’t be this way. He is younger than they. They let him into their world and he tries to pull the family back together.

It was the younger sister who used to read to him and share special times with him. It was her who used to watch out for him and be concerned what may happen in his life. Now she is the one who has made such an abrupt turnabout that causes many to wonder how such a thing is possible. It shouldn’t be this way.

I am father to these three and others too. I carry the daily pain of such tearing and turmoil. I constantly wonder what went wrong. Is there fault and blame that needs a place to rest. Should I take it on myself?

The young man says this is not how we wanted things to turn out with our family. I know that more than he. Such high aspirations we had for our Christian family. There were times when all looked well; daughters and sons who seemed to love Jesus and did things to serve in His kingdom. Even this young man teeters on the edge. He finds the allure of the world calling yet sees the damage it has done to those dear to him. He knows what to do but finds it hard.

Life is what happens when you are making other plans. I heard that in church Sunday. How true it is for me. It shouldn’t be this way, yet it is.

Philip

Stretching

2011-03-12T07:50:00.001-07:00

Furniture I built

Many months ago I was reading in a book called The Power of Full Engagement. The subtitle of the book is: Managing energy, not time, is the key to high performance and personal renewal.

One of the things that challenged me was the need for stretching in my life; specifically in my business. I realized that I had become very comfortable in not doing things that made me uncomfortable.

Here are the words from the book that spoke to me:

To build capacity we must push beyond
our normal limits, training in the same
systematic way that elite athletes do.

Stress is not the enemy in our lives. Paradoxically, it is the key to growth. In order to build strength in a muscle we must systematically stress it, expending energy beyond normal levels. Doing so literally causes microscopic tears in the muscle fibers. At the end of a training session, functional capacity is diminished. But give the muscle twenty-four to forty-eight hours to recover and it grows stronger and better able to handle the next stimulus. While this training phenomenon has been applied largely to building physical strength, it is just as relevant to building “muscles” in every dimension of our lives—from empathy and patience to focus and creativity to integrity and commitment. What applies to the body applies equally to the other dimensions of our lives. This insight both simplifies and revolutionizes the way we approach the barriers that stand in our way.

I added stretching to my prayer list and cautiously asked God to bring change in this area. Time passed as I daily wondered what this would mean. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I recognized what God was doing. I realized He had brought two customers into my life, both with a list of work that was way beyond my comfort level. Not only has the work brought stretching in my life, it has also kept me very busy during what is generally a slower time of the year.

I am realizing in a new way that God’s good work in my life may require some stress and pain but it is always bearable and doable and the end result is a greater ability to serve Him.

If you click on the above picture you will see the fruit of this stretching. I built the wood furniture from scratch. My customer had some specific ideas of what he wanted and couldn’t get it at the store. Behind the couch is a shelf that mirrors the long table. Another side table is in the back and the piece on the ottoman can be turned over and function as a tray. While I wouldn’t compare it to what a fine woodworker would produce, I am very happy with the way it turned out. I let God stretch me and pull out of me the abilities He placed there.

I wonder what else He has in mind.

Philip

Friendship

2011-02-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

I like most men don't have many friends. I used to hear that women were better at friendship but I'm not sure that is true. Someone told me, "Women talk more but are not any better at relationships."

Friendship is hard. It requires a lot. It's also different from acquaintance. I know many people but that doesn't make them friends. I know most people in my Men's Sunday School but I'm not sure if any of them are my friends. They don't really know me and I don't really know them. We just see each other at church. I don't say that to cast bad light on them; it's just the way it is.

A lot of my problem is that I am a loner. I also don't do very well at relationships in general. Another thing is that I know true friendship would require someone to give to me. Due to insecurity or whatever, I have a hard time believing someone would want to do that. Maybe I create my own destiny.

We have all heard of the church visitor who left and proclaimed, "They were not very friendly." Of course, that person wasn't either. It's been said, "If you want friends, be a friend." Very true. Sometimes that's it; we don't really want friends.

Here is what a dictionary says about a friend: a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Those three elements are big. I have to know someone well; that takes time. Affection; I have to like them and have positive feelings for them. Trust; this is probably the biggest. Trust is a fragile thing. It takes time to build and can crumble in an instant.

I belong to a group called the Samson Society. One of the main goals is for men to build true friendship and relationship: on a daily basis. It involves getting to know another man and all his crap and still loving him. That process builds heavy on two of the friendship elements: knowing well and trusting. It involves more listening and less fixing. The truth is that most of the time we know what to do already. We just need someone along for the trip as we walk it out. And sometimes we need a kick in the right place.

I know I need friends and am working to build those relationships. I'm also watching a friendship crumble; someone I hoped I knew well but didn't.

Life can be a long and lonely path and we were not meant to travel alone. Friendship with God and man makes the journey possible. Loners usually end up as road-kill.

Philip

Got Rest?

2011-02-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

I woke up thinking about this verse today. Isn't it interesting how we can take the simple and make it complex and unobtainable?

Here is how my mind works: first comes the exegesis; take it apart in the Greek. Parse it and look for interesting grammatical constructions. Feel satisfied with that process. Not done: application.

Have you ever heard a sermon about this verse? Many center on the salvation experience: “Oh sinner, come to Jesus and he will free you from your sin and give you rest.” Or maybe it explains how this verse speaks of a future rest. Someday, not on this earth we will experience the rest of God. Both are partially true.

What I heard this morning is the right now of this verse. Jesus wants to do this right now. He wants to do it everyday.

How many times am I weighed down with something or someone and I walk alone? Like a stubborn toddler I say, "I do it myself." I press on moaning and groaning. I may complain about the rough life and heavy load. Everything but the present application of this verse: Come to me. Come to me right now. Come for rest.

Are you worn out? Is fatigue a word that describes your life? Do you feel like giving up? Do you wish your weariness was physical? Is there not enough sleep to fix what shadows your life?

Are you carrying a backbreaking load: guilt, regret, hopelessness, failure, fear? This thing on your back: maybe you can't even see it or name it.

Bills to pay, work to do, people to deal with, mountains to climb. The noise rises, it starts to spin; fade to black. Crushing, numbing load.

Or: Come to me. Now. Simple. No exegesis needed. Just do.

Come to me - rest.

It goes on: learn of me and take my yoke. Learn so we know. Learn the new way. Replace my way with his. And his yoke: it's easy and light.

Simple. Note to self: do it today; do it now. Do it tomorrow.

Philip

Predictable Weight Loss

2011-02-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have lost 58 pounds now. It's single digits to the final number. God does miracles!

On a regular basis, people are asking me about it. It may be someone I haven't seen in awhile or an old customer and last Friday it was my barber.

My barber was very curious; just the day before he had met with his doctor. His blood pressure was up and stronger medicine was prescribed. His doctor told him that he really needed to lose some pounds; even 30 would make a dramatic difference. He was one year older than me, one inch taller and about ten pounds heavier than where I was when I began. After our talk he was very encouraged to know that he could do it. I know he can too - if he will follow some well-defined steps.

The universal question is: how did I do it. Some do want assurance that I haven't been sick. I think many are looking for the magic formula; a new, easy, melt the pounds away with no effort potion. My initial answer is that I am eating less and eating better. If they continue to question then I let them in on the details - the way to predictable weight loss. For me it has been writing down what I eat and knowing how many calories that translates into.

Now there may be some overweight people with hormonal or medical reason but for most of us it is very simple. If you take in more calories than you are burning then you gain weight. So the way to predictable weight loss is to reverse that.

There are many calculators available that take your weight, height and level of activity and give you a fairly accurate idea of your daily calorie need. From there, predictable weight loss is simple. If you take in 500 less calories a day than you need, you will lose 1 pound per week. For most people you can safely lose 2 pounds per week.

When I started on my weight loss journey I knew I needed to lose at least 50 pounds and I knew I needed to eat less. It was a simple beginning and I learned a lot along the way.

Without the diary and calorie count, it's just a guessing game. You may be eating more than you should or the foods you eat may be high in calories and low in nutrition value. You end up not losing, maybe gaining and that usually leads to discouragement and giving up.

The single most important thing for me has been the food diary - writing down what I eat. It gives me knowledge and keeps me honest and most of all gives me the numbers that insure predictable weight loss. It doesn't take a lot of time either. I probably spend about 5 minutes a day doing it. I use MyFitnessPal.com online and it syncs to my IPod Touch. It's free and easy.

So that's the secret to predictable weight loss. Fad and quickie diets usually don't last and many people gain back more than they lost. The good habits developed with what I have talked about are something you can live with, help maintain the target weight and can last for life.

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Why Try?

2011-02-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel like you keep ending up in the same place – a place you hoped never to return to? Does life seem just too hard?

Have you felt victory so close only to have it fade like a vapor? Are you tired of fighting the same sins? Does the thought of doing battle for the rest of your life make you feel beyond exhaustion?

I think of a daughter, caught up in years of bad decisions, entangled in a whirlwind of sins. Does she look at it all, wanting to be free but thinking it could never be… again. The hole is just too deep. How to ever get out; it’s way too complicated. Where would one start?

Would you fight the battle if the end seemed reachable? But now all it seems is sword swinging in the dark, loud clashing with metal, more pain appearing but no end in sight and fatigue makes another round seem impossible.

I think of those who climb a mountain like Everest. Why? Yet it becomes all consuming. Huge amounts of money are spent and the chance of victory is overshadowed by a greater chance of failure or death. Many vow that they will try again, next year.

Here is a quote by Sir Winston Churchill that I remember sometimes when I am feeling discouraged:

When you feel you cannot continue in your position for another minute, and all that is in human power has been done, that is the moment when the enemy is most exhausted, and when one step forward will give you the fruits of the struggle you have borne.

That’s what I need to remember – there is an enemy. I need to remember that an enemy wants to win by me giving up. This devil knows that power is mine if I will have it. He wants me to think that I’m in this by myself. He knows that left to me, operating with my vast resources will insure my dramatic failure.

He also knows that God’s spectacular power is at my disposal if I will just remember. If I will just give up; if I will just give up my feeble efforts. If I will just admit to myself and God and others that I can’t do it, can’t go on. I need to quit making promises to do better, quit making resolutions of reformation. Simply ask for His aid.

That’s it. That’s the victory. That makes the hard road bearable, the impossible possible.

Philip

Breakfast, Sleep and Weight Loss

2011-02-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

If you are interested in losing weight two things are very important: eating breakfast and getting good sleep.

Some people think that if they skip breakfast it will help them lose weight. The opposite is true. When you skip breakfast your metabolism slows and your blood sugar drops. This results in low energy and hunger that may lead to unhealthy snacks or overeating at lunch because you are “starving.” A healthy breakfast is the start of a good day.

My favorite breakfast is one slice of whole grain toast and two egg whites. For less than 100 calories I get a good load of protein, high fiber, good carbs and very little fat or sugar. I’m ready to work.

I also have a small meal between lunch and dinner. This keeps my metabolism going and helps prevent a feeling of hunger. My favorite is three dried apricots and five almonds. Less than 100 calories and it’s loaded with good stuff that keeps me fueled. A small amount of trail mix is good too.

Studies show that those who sleep less often weigh more. It seems that good sleep and the right amount of sleep helps with the hormonal balance necessary for weight management. Dieters who didn’t get enough sleep lost muscle rather than fat. Also a lack of sleep seems to stimulate appetite which can lead to weight gain.

Well those are a couple more things I have learned on my weight loss journey. More later.

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Food Journal – Do I have to do this?

2011-01-24T21:09:00.002-07:00

So I start reading the Lose It for Life book and I meet resistance right away. It wants me to keep a food journal. I’m supposed to write down everything I eat. It sounds like a lot of work so I put it on the back burner.

As I go through the workbook for the chapter, I am reminded of what I’m not doing. Okay, I’m not in charge anymore, I’ll do it. I get a small notebook and start. September 18, 2010 is the first entry. I have done this every day since. Everything that goes in my mouth gets written down.

The idea behind a food journal is to give an honest account of what one eats. It’s easy to fool yourself. We can forget all the things we consume through grazing – this and that as we pass through the kitchen, etc. It also helps with the why of eating. Am I hungry or am I bored? Am I hurting and hoping that food will soothe?

After two months of keeping this diary, I started thinking of calories. How many calories should I have each day and how many am I getting? I knew I was eating less but I was curious. I went to a bookstore and found an easy to use book that listed the calorie content of most foods. It’s called The Ultimate Calorie, Carb, & Fat Gram Counter. Now I was looking like a true fanatic. On October 19, I started writing down the calories of what was in my food diary. I found it very interesting and not too hard to do.

In mid-November I found a program for my Ipod Touch called MyFitnessPal. It automated the whole diary process and synced to a website called myfitnesspal.com. With over 660,000 foods in its database, it made entering food very easy and I could track my progress, exercise and get nutritional information as well. Available for Android also, it’s all free; BlackBerry coming soon. You can use the online journal by itself too.

A food journal has helped immensely in my weight loss journey. Studies show that people who track their food lose twice as much as those who don’t and are more likely to keep it off. Another study showed that the best predictor of weight loss throughout the first year was the number of food records kept per week.

Another benefit to me is being able to budget my calories. If I am going to go out to dinner for example, I can cut back through the day so that at the end of the day I have not exceeded what I should have eaten. On New Year’s Eve I took my boys to Jim’s Burger Haven and we had giant double cheeseburgers and I had onion rings on the side. At the end of the day I hadn’t exceeded my calories, although as expected I was a little over on fat grams.

Here is a good example why it is good to know the calories of food choices. Two weeks ago I went to Applebee’s for dinner. As I looked through the menu I saw they had a section of entrees that were less than 550 calories. All of them looked very good. As I browsed the menu I saw a picture of Crispy Orange Chicken. It looked good! I looked it up and found it was 1550 calories. I settled on Grilled Dijon Chicken & Portobellos which was 450 calories. I was saved 1100 calories by that choice. By the way, if I want to lose a pound per week my recommended calorie intake is 1550 per day. Here was an entrée with that many calories in one meal. I now understand one of the reasons why I was gaining weight. I also understand the way to lose weight.

I have learned a lot about various foods through this process and have a better idea of the ones that are healthier than others. My first objective on this journey is to be healthy. As I restrict calories I want to make sure I have a balanced diet. There are many foods I avoid but I don’t feel at all deprived. I enjoy finding better choices, eating in moderation and actually enjoying the things I am eating.

If you would like to see how this works, here is a link to my online diary. Use the password healthy. You can see my foods, exercise, weight loss, etc. It’s a great setup and very easy to use.

Well enough for now. Later I will tell you some of the other things I have learned and the benefits I have enjoyed.

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Persistence in Prayer

2011-01-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

I tell you, even though he doesn't want to get up and give him anything because he is his friend, he will get up and give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.
Luke 11:8

I heard this verse in Church this morning. I wondered about the word persistence so I looked it up. It speaks of something much more that persistence. It’s very powerful; speaking of someone without modesty, someone who knows no shame, without a sense of what is proper, is reckless and with complete audacity.

And that is how God wants us to be with him; to come boldly and with abandon to his throne of grace. It’s beyond persistence. It’s a behavior that would annoy most of us. Someone acting crazy as they beat on the door, demanding to be heard, demanding an answer to their request.

Everything Jesus ever said about prayer can be summed up in one word: ask. Be bold enough to ask in this way.

Philip

SLED – How to persuasively present the prolife message

2011-01-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a way to share the prolife message in a clear and compelling way:

Differences of size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency are not good reasons for saying you had no right to life then but you do now. Stephen Schwarz suggests the acronym SLED as a helpful reminder of these non-essential differences:

Size: You were smaller as an embryo, but since when does your body size determine value? Large humans are not more valuable than small humans.
Level of Development: True, you were less developed as an embryo, but why is that decisive? Six-month olds are less developed than teenagers both physically and mentally, but we don’t think the former have less of a right to life.
Environment: Where you are has no bearing on what you are. How does a journey of eight inches down the birth canal suddenly change the essential nature of the unborn from a being we can kill to one we can’t?
Degree of Dependency: Sure, you depended on your mother for survival, but since when does dependence on another human mean we can kill you? (Consider conjoined twins, for example.)

In short, humans are equal by nature not function. Although they differ immensely in their respective degrees of development, they are nonetheless equal because they share a common human nature made in the image of God.

The above comes from the article Clarity Not Gadgetry: Pro-Life Apologetics for the Next Generation by Scott Klusendorf. Read it here.

Philip

Lose It for Life

2011-01-20T19:44:00.001-07:00

One of the first good things I did on my weight loss journey was to admit to a group of friends that I knew I needed to lose at least 50 pounds. I was out of the closet. Of course, anyone who looked at me knew I needed to lose weight but of course people don’t talk about those kind of things.

One of those friends asked if I wanted to borrow a weight loss program he had. I reluctantly said yes. I wondered what it would be. Was it some sort of psychological mess? Was it a weird diet?

The first thing I started to do after my admission to God and others that I needed to lose weight was to cut down on the amount of food I was eating. I tried to put less on my plate and didn’t get seconds. I also quit cleaning off the plates of the rest of the family when we had something I really liked. I wasn’t thinking about nutrition or healthy eating at this point. The first small change was eating less. It was something I could do and I could live with it.

I really did want to succeed in this new way of life. There was one time many years ago that I tried to lose weight. I did a lot of exercise and tried to cut down on food. I lost some weight but didn’t get too far. I kept the daily exercise going for about a year and a half and then a family crisis came along. The exercise stopped and over time the weight returned. As the years went by I kept adding. I was up to 211 when my journey backwards began.

So back to the program my friend gave me. It was called Lose It for Life by Stephen Arterburn. I looked it over and was pleasantly surprised. The book claimed it was the total solution – spiritual, emotional and physical - for permanent weight loss. It wasn’t a diet either. Instead it seemed against dieting and was for making healthy changes that will last.

There was a book, workbook, CD’s and DVD’s. I bought a copy of the workbook for myself and started going through it as I read the corresponding chapters in the book. I was amazed at what I was learning and how I was being challenged.

I started thinking about why I ate too much. Why did I choose quantity over quality? Why did I want to be stuffed at every meal? When did this behavior begin?

If you are interested in checking out the Lose It for Life program, here is a link to the whole package on Amazon. I found I could get the whole thing cheaper that getting just the book or workbook by themselves. At this time you can get it used for $6.40 + 3.99 shipping. Even at full price it is a great program.

The changes that were happening in my life helped me lose weight but also helped me to develop healthier habits. I will talk more about the specifics later.

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

How’s That Working For Ya?

2011-01-18T20:43:00.001-07:00

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Don’t we all do that at times? We have our way of doing things and keep doing it that way even if it’s not working.

When I began the journey to lose weight I didn’t know what was going to be involved. I took the first step of confessing to God, myself and others that I needed to lose weight and I knew the first action was to start eating less. Beyond that I didn’t have a plan.

I admitted to God that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the strength or willingness in myself. It was then that God put things together. He brought people and tools to me. I let all of my ideas go and accepted the wisdom of others.

It can be hard to admit that “my” way hasn’t worked. It can even be harder to have to do it someone else’s way. “I’ll do anything but that” is a common thing we tell ourselves. I think that many times God frustrates our own plans because he wants us to have to admit we need him and others to succeed.

Many times it can be like our attitude towards prayer; it’s the last thing we do when all else fails. How much better to start with humility - I can’t do it; I need help, is what God loves to hear. You may be surprised how much other people can help too.

So, how’s that working for ya?

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

I lost the sack of cement

2011-01-16T18:03:00.001-07:00

I use this cement on a regular basis, mostly for setting fence posts. I usually have to carry it to the backyard – something I dislike doing very much. Each sack weighs 50 pounds.

One day I realized that I was carrying the sack with me everywhere I went. You see, I was at least 50 pounds overweight. I had thought about that before but this day was different.

So, two things had to happen. I had to admit it to God and I had to admit it to other people. I was scared. I loved food and lots of it. Did I really want to give that up? Could I even do that? I couldn’t.

I admitted to God what was going on in my life. Food occupied a place that was way too big. I was powerless. I needed His help. I needed more than help, I needed power. I admitted the same to a group of friends and to my wife.

This all began towards the end of July. I had no plan. I would start by eating less. I didn’t want to just lose weight; I needed a life change that could last for life. I wasn’t interested in a diet.

I started small: less on the plate and I tried to eat slower. I realized that my eating was quantity over quality. I wanted to be stuffed at the end of a meal. Most of the time I didn’t even taste what I was eating; it was like a feeding frenzy. Seconds would pass and the food was gone.

God was working on my behalf. My desires began to change. I started feeling a little different about food. He brought tools across my path that would make all the difference.

This week the scale brought the good news: the cement sack was gone. I was 51 pounds lighter than last July. I felt like I had gone through a miracle transformation. I still have somewhere around 10 pounds to go before I reach an ideal weight. I know God made this possible. He did what I couldn’t do. He made the changes in my heart that no amount of self-determination or discipline could. I’m glad to admit that I am weak. I’m glad to see His strength on display.

Later I will tell you about some of the things I have learned and how they came about. There were no quick-fix diets or miracle weight loss potions or obsessive exercise routines. I am living a different life than before. I still love making and eating good food but it is different now. I am enjoying quality over quantity. Food is starting to find its right place in my life.

I can’t even begin to describe how good it feels not to be carrying that 50 pound sack around.

Here is a link to posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

Why marijuana shouldn’t be legal

2011-01-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Marijuana makes you lazy and stupid – at least that was my experience. I’ve seen the same effect in many other people too. Do we really want more of that?

Colorado legislators are back in session and for many, one of their goals is to further liberalize the marijuana law on the way to full legalization.

Their guise this year is tying up loose ends and fixing the law from last year. What a joke. The only fixing going on is making it easier to get marijuana or to be one of the dealers.

I know some of my friends argue that the war on drugs like marijuana is a lost cause. I think the same could be said of many other laws such as the ones forbidding underage drinking. Just because a law is hard to enforce or expensive to enforce is not a reason to give up – at least that is what I think.

It now looks like a result of the liberalizing of “medical marijuana” is an increase in adolescent usage. That is bad on many levels. Aside from my concern of what that does for their motivation, there are studies showing a detrimental effect on their developing brain. As a society we are going to suffer some serious consequences in the future.

We probably need to come up with some better ideas of what to do to deter marijuana use – especially in youth and what to do when users violate drug laws but legalization would have a far higher price than the so called war on drugs has.

Another story in the news today is of a Jefferson County high school cafeteria manager who was arrested for supplying marijuana to her daughter’s friends and other children. This “cool-mom” had a medical-marijuana license – no surprise.

Maybe this explains why so many kids were asking for seconds on the brownies. We’ll see if her defense in court was that she was trying to do her part to alleviate the pain and suffering in the world. Hopefully this high school will not be so high after her arrest.

Philip

Change?

2011-01-14T22:34:00.001-07:00

Why is it that even though we want things to change in our life, when presented with the very tools to bring about that change, we become resistant? "That is not what I had in mind." "I want change but not in that way."

Maybe this shows our stubbornness. Even though our way hasn't worked, we bristle at another way - especially someone else's way - or maybe... God's way.

I’m doing this for me

2011-01-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

“I’m doing this for me” can be an act of selfishness or of self-control.

I can think of countless situations where people have used “for me” as the preamble to the explanation of their next selfish act. I’m breaking my marriage vows. I’m leaving my family. I’m buying this thing. We’re moving. I’m getting an abortion. It’s for me and I really don’t care that it’s going to hurt you.

On the other hand, there are times we need to leave the crowd and do what’s right. I know of several families where church attendance is sporadic or non-existent because one of the partners doesn’t want to go. Spiritual disciplines are always good no matter what your spouse or family think or do. Needed weight loss? If you don’t do it for you, it probably won’t last. Job excellence? Do it for you no matter what other employees do.

I find that I lean heavily towards selfishness and laziness. The things I do “for me”, are not always the best for all involved. Also, laziness pushes me to not do the things that are good for me. I may use the inaction of others as an excuse for my own.

Left to ourselves, I think we all slide toward the bad. What we need are good people in our lives who can help us see what our true motivations are or maybe we need a kick in the butt to get us going. Good friends can help bring out the best in us. Bad friends will help plan the next disaster.

May you be blessed with good friends.

Philip

My mouth – what goes in and what comes out

2011-01-04T19:34:00.001-07:00

My biggest problem at this point in my life is my mouth – what goes in and what comes out. I am making some improvements on both but still have a long way to go. I will speak to the first in a later post.

As far as what comes out of my mouth, it’s very easy for me to notice the negative and to comment on it. Instead of pointing out the good people do, I usually focus on their failings. This is particularly bad for my family.

I also get involved in things where what I have to say doesn’t do any good in making a situation better. I’m learning that there are times where it is just better to be silent.

Here are some words from James 3:2-10 that talk about the problem tongue:

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
(James 3:2-10 ESV)

I so identify with these verses. It seems sometimes that my tongue will never be tamed. I am encouraged to know that it is a common enough problem that it is addressed here. Can you imagine one of the Apostles having to apologize for an inappropriate comment? I can see Peter having to do that.

I know there isn’t anything too difficult for God so I know that He will help me in this area. Later I will tell you of the changes that are happening with what is going into my mouth.

Philip

Who is Using Medical Marijuana?

2011-01-03T19:11:00.001-07:00

Shops selling marijuana in Denver outnumber all of the Starbucks in Colorado. Politicians have liberalized state marijuana laws in the guise of helping sick people. We were led to believe that it would be the dying cancer patient or someone with a debilitating medical condition who would be using medical marijuana.

With no surprise to many, it’s young guys who represent most of the card carrying medical marijuana users. In a recent letter-to-the-editor in the Denver Post, Dr. Jeffrey Sippel points out that “Seventy percent of registered users are males between the ages of 25 and 34, not coincidentally society’s demographic with the highest substance abuse rate.” He goes on to say that “Ninety percent of cards have been issued for a diagnosis of severe chronic pain, yet no mechanism exists to document that such patients have had appropriate conventional treatment, including non-pharmacological modalities such as physical therapy.” Here is a link to his letter and another good one.

So basically we are being scammed and young people are going to suffer for it.

I took the above picture today in front on one of the pot shops in my neighborhood. I’m not surprised that the guy they have waving the sign is the demographic of their usual customer.

I hope something is done to slow down this scam before we reap the whirlwind from it.

Philip

Teen Marijuana Use Getting Higher

2011-01-02T15:05:00.002-07:00

Is it any surprise that the “medical marijuana” scam has caused young people to view the drug as harmless? Also, many daily users are getting their supply from marijuana "patients."

An article in Saturday’s Denver Post reports the concern among drug abuse counselors with the rise. Here is a link.

A big problem with adolescent usage is the changes in the brain that happen with marijuana use. An article in USA Today cites a recent study that shows that “people who start using marijuana at a young age have more cognitive shortfalls. Also, the more marijuana a person used in adolescence, the more trouble they had with focus and attention.” Here is a link.

We are going to have to pay a high price for this in the future. Too bad the marijuana legalization advocates don’t care in their own quest for a buzz.

Philip

New Year’s Predictions

2011-01-01T08:27:00.001-07:00

I’m finishing off the last of the Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee I received on Christmas. It’s the best coffee in the world - delicious, smooth and with a light smokiness.

Here are some of my predictions for the coming year:

A lot of good things will happen but there will be some bad thrown in the mix.
Many people will experience great health and others will live through sickness.
People will be born and people will die.
There will be ups and there will be downs.
Some days you will be happy and some sad.
There will be some things you can control and others that will elude your grasp.

The overall outcome of the coming year will be largely determined by what you focus on. Will it be the things you can change or the things you have no control over? For example, I can’t control if I will get sick but there are many things I can do that will make me healthier. I can do something about that.

I can control if God will be given first place in my life. I can make the decision to make prayer, Bible study and self-examination a daily part of my life. Those things will have the greatest actual impact on my life in the coming year. Proverbs 16:16 says that it’s much better to get wisdom and understanding above silver and gold.

I spent 2010 with a daily immersion in the book of Proverbs. I went through one of its 31 chapters each day of the month. In the morning I read the chapter twice in different Bible versions. As I drove around at work, I listened to a recording of that chapter and most evenings I read it again in the two versions and wrote down some thoughts on one verse that stood out to me.

By flooding my mind with the wisdom from Proverbs I gave the Holy Spirit material to guide me as I faced various situations. There were warnings to avoid certain things and situations and exhortations of what to put into practice and do. Of course, I have to make the daily choices.

So what about those New Year’s resolutions? My advice is to avoid the dramatic; make small changes that you can stick with and live with for life. That’s much better that the big flash that comes and goes and you are left with the same old existence. Make God’s Word a daily part of your life and start a list of people and things that you talk to God about each day. Get those right and you will be surprised about how many of the other things fall into place.

So to my final prediction for the New Year: some people will and some won’t.

Philip

Celebrating Redemption

2010-12-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is abbreviated and my thoughts are in red.

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
Psalm 51:15

We should be the most celebratory community on earth. There should be a deep and abiding joy that's the backbeat of everything we do. Each of us should carry around with us a deep sense of privilege for who we've become and what we've been given in Christ. We'll spend eternity celebrating redemption, but there's something wrong if the rehearsal for destiny's celebration isn't beginning now.

Good reminder to me. Too often I let the junk of life determine my outlook and mood. It shouldn’t be that way. My life is in God’s hands and He causes all things to work for my good.

It should be in our minds, it should flood our hearts, it should be constantly on our lips: we have been redeemed! Chosen out of the mass of humanity, forgiven by the sacrifice of Jesus, accepted into God's family, the Holy Spirit now living inside of us, God working to empower us against and to deliver us from sin, the great paradigmatic truths of the biblical narrative now open to us, the mutual-ministry fellowship of the body of Christ our regular experience, and a guaranteed future in God's presence and free from sin and struggle. We've been redeemed! The scope and breadth of it boggles the mind. It's almost too much for our hearts to take in. Given what we couldn't deserve—love in the middle of our rebellion—and given acceptance we could never earn. We've been redeemed! We've been redeemed! We've been redeemed!

Doesn’t the religious cloud block these amazing things from our mind? Yeah, we’ve heard it before, I know all that… But really, if this is true, everyday and every thought should be colored by it.

Unlike the rest of creation, human beings are good at celebration. Last night I sat looking out an eighth-floor window over the Philadelphia Art Museum and watched the annual Fourth of July fireworks display. It was a fittingly celebratory end to a two-week celebration of our nation's birth that Philadelphia calls, "Welcome America." Welcome indeed! Welcome to remember the beginnings of the freedoms you now enjoy. Welcome to remember the patriots who gave their hearts, minds, and lives to secure this freedom. Welcome to walk the streets and enter the buildings where American freedom took its shape. And welcome to days of celebration with others who are reflecting, remembering, and recognizing the freedom that now shapes their daily lives. National freedom is a thing worth celebrating, as is another year of life, or the end of the harvest season, or twenty-five years of successful work. But all of these appropriate celebrations pale in comparison to the meaning and majesty of the reality of redemption that should flood the mind of every believer every day.

It’s the same at Christmas. I have to admit that I really look forward to the gifts and goodies I will receive. I can be “spiritual” with the best of them and can say the right words but am I really amazed by what the Christ child means? To be honest, my thoughts are more toward the commercial Christmas than the baby born in the manger.

What will you celebrate today? That raise you have been working toward? That new car you dreamed of for two years? The local team that finally won a championship? An anniversary? A birthday? The first steps of that toddler? The lack of traffic on the way to work? The deli sandwich that was better than ever? The new shoes that you thought you would never find? Your new iPhone? If you're a human being, you're a celebrator. The question is, in all of your celebrations, do you turn again and again to celebrate the most amazing, the most magnificent, the most mind-bending thing that a human being could be chosen to experience—redemption?

You have been redeemed! You have been redeemed! You have been redeemed! Now, go out and celebrate.

A question from the meditation:

Reflect on what you celebrated this year, this month, this week, today. Who is at the center of your life of celebration?

I celebrated the gifts I was given this Christmas. I celebrated with a lot of good food and cookies. This month I celebrated that my work was so much busier than last year. I also celebrate that I am a child of God. As messed up as my life can be, I know it is radically different than it would be if Jesus wasn’t at the center. Thank you Lord for being my redeemer and for the family and friends you have given to me.

Philip

PS So this post brings this devotional to a close. I have done one chapter a week this year and I think I am better for it. I have learned many things and have had my thoughts challenged and changed. Check it out yourself.

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Reductionism

2010-12-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is abbreviated and my thoughts are in red.

You teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Psalm 51:6

There's loads of knowledge to be found, but wisdom is a rare commodity. Why? Because wisdom is one of sin's first casualties. Sin reduces all of us to fools. You see the empirical evidence of the foolishness of sin on almost every page of Scripture. You see foolishness in full operation in the tragic story of David and Bathsheba. This is why David says, "Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place" (v. 6 NIV).

You read the story of David's sin, and you say to yourself, "What was he thinking? Did he really believe that he'd get away with this? Did he completely forget who he was? Did he think that God was going to stand idly by and let this happen?" But David is not some extreme case of foolishness gone wild; you see evidence of the same foolishness in each of our lives daily. The components of the foolishness of sin still corrupt and interrupt our lives again and again. People could say of us again and again, "What was he thinking? What was she thinking?"

I’ve heard it called the soporific nature of sin. It makes us spiritually sleepy, dull and stupid. That explains the crazy things people do.

What does foolishness look like? Here are four of its most significant aspects.

1) The Foolishness of Self-centeredness
We were created to live for something, someone bigger than ourselves. We were designed to live with, for, and through the Lord. God is meant to be the motivation and hope of everything we do. His pleasure, his honor, and his will are the things for which we are meant to live. But the foolishness of sin really does cause us to reduce our lives to the size and shape of our lives. Our living has no greater purpose than self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment. Our problem isn't just the difficulties of life in this fallen world but the foolishness that we bring to them that causes us to trouble our own trouble.

Wisdom from Scripture tells us that we find fulfillment when we experience the joy of giving to and serving others. If we water we will be watered. But sin tells us something different. I look out for myself, only giving if something is left over or if it’s convenient. I keep a tight reign on things and time; I don’t want to run out of either.

2) The Foolishness of Self-deception
We're all very good at making ourselves feel good about what God says is bad. We're all very skilled at recasting what we've done so what was wrong doesn't look so wrong to us. I'll tell myself that I didn't really lash out in anger; no, I was speaking as one of God's prophets. I'll tell myself that that second look wasn't lust; I am simply a man who enjoys beauty. I'll tell myself that I'm not craving power; I'm just exercising God-given leadership gifts. Foolishness is able to do something dangerous. It's able to look at wrong and see right. Had David been able to see himself with accuracy and if he'd been able to see his sin for what it really was, it's hard to imagine that he would have continued to travel down that pathway.

The only way out of this deception is to renew our mind with Scripture and to have good people around us who get involved in our lives when they see us getting off track.

3) The Foolishness of Self-sufficiency
We all like to think of ourselves as more independently capable than we actually are. We weren't created to be independent, autonomous, or self-sufficient. We were made to live in a humble, worshipful, and loving dependency upon God and in a loving and humble interdependency with others. Our lives were designed to be community projects. Yet, the foolishness of sin tells us that we have all that we need within ourselves. So we settle for relationships that never go beneath the casual. We defend ourselves when the people around us point out a weakness or a wrong. We hold our struggles within, not taking advantage of the resources that God has given us. The lie of the garden was that Adam and Eve could be like God, independent and self-sufficient. We still tend to buy into that lie.

Sometimes I think we emphasize a “personal relationship with Jesus” too much. We think all we need is Him when He showed by His own life that we need relationships with other people. Through these relationships we gain wisdom and perspective. We also gain victory over sin. Nate Larkin, founder of the Samson Society said this: “During the darkest years of my life, I begged God time and again for a private solution to my private problem, but He never gave me one.” What Nate found is that God wanted to use his sin to force him out of isolation. “In the end, I found victory over my sin by surrendering not just to Christ, but also to the body of Christ.” I need other people.

4) The Foolishness of Self-righteousness
Why don't we celebrate grace more? Why aren't we more amazed by the wonderful gifts that are ours as the children of God? Why don't we live with a deep sense of need, coupled with a deep sense of gratitude for how each need has been met by God's grace? Well, the answer is clear. You'll never celebrate grace as much as you should when you think you're more righteous than you actually are. Grace is the plea of sinners. Mercy is the hope of the wicked. Acceptance is the prayer of those who know that they could never do anything to earn it. But the foolishness of sin makes me righteous in my own eyes. When I tell my stories, I become more the hero than I ever was. I look wiser in my narratives than I could have been. In my view of my history, my choices were better than what they actually were. Often it isn't my sin that keeps me from coming to God. No, it's my righteousness that keeps me from him. Sadly, I don't come to him because I don't think I need the grace that can be found only in him. I don't seek the rescue of that grace because I'm right in my own eyes.

There is also the recurring problem of trying to clean ourselves up before we come to God or thinking we have to grovel before we can be forgiven. Both of those have self-righteousness as their root.

Sin really does reduce us all to fools, but happily the story doesn't end there. The One who is the ultimate source of everything that's good, true, trustworthy, right, and wise is also a God of amazing grace. You don't get freed from your foolishness by education or experience. You don't get wisdom by research and analysis. You get wisdom by means of a relationship with the One who is Wisdom. The radical claim of the Bible is that wisdom isn't first a book, or a system, or a set of commands or principles. No, wisdom is a person, and his name is Jesus Christ. Wisdom begins a lifelong process of freeing us from the stronghold that the foolishness of sin has on us.

It makes such sense that a repentant man (David) would reflect on his need of wisdom. Sin, in reducing us to fools, causes us to do foolish things, even though we think we're wise. And for this we need more than information, education, and experience. We need exactly what we find in Christ—grace. Wisdom is the product of grace; there is simply nowhere else it can be found.

For our relationship with Jesus to grow we need to spend time with Him and get to know Him through the Bible. Without that, we will end up with some messed up view of who He is and what He wants. We will create Him in our image instead of being conformed into His image.

A question from the meditation:

Where do you see the four kinds of foolishness still operating in your life?

I’ve identified a lot of it in the above comments. Those words come from my life and are in the present tense. Probably my biggest problem is self-centeredness. That’s one that isn’t going away soon.

Philip

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Ready, Willing, and Waiting

2010-12-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts are in red.

. . . and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psalm 51:12

Lord,
I think I can honestly say
I am ready, willing, and waiting.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to see my sin as You see it.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to acknowledge that I am my biggest problem.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to run from wrong.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to seek Your help.
Ready, willing and waiting
for my mind to be clear.
Ready, willing, and waiting
for my heart to be clean.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to acknowledge what You see.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to rest in Your compassion.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to hide in Your unfailing love.

I am ready “to acknowledge that I am my biggest problem”. That in itself would be a major realization. I want to blame someone else for my problems and for my anger. “What you did made me angry” is a regular excuse but the truth is that someone else may have done something but my anger comes from within.

I am ready, willing, and waiting
to be washed by You.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to admit that I acted against You.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to prove that You are right and just.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to confess that my problem is from birth.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to examine within.

God is always ready but we are not. It’s nice to be in the place where we agree with Him with what is going on in our lives. That admission and confession prepares us for cleansing.

I am ready, willing, and waiting
to be whiter than snow.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to hear joy and gladness.
Ready, willing, and waiting
for brokenness to give way to joy.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to have a steadfast heart.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to celebrate Your grace once more.

It’s amazing that God takes us with our grit and grime and makes us clean like a new snow. And not just clean but joyfully clean.

I am ready, willing, and waiting
to teach others Your ways.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to help them turn back to You.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to have You save me from me.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to sing songs of Your righteousness.
I am ready, willing, and waiting
to declare Your praise.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to bring the sacrifice of a broken heart.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to see Your people prosper.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to see You worshiped as is Your due.

In our cleanness we are able to rejoice, to sing to praise and to show through our life the wonder of forgiveness and restoration.

But, I am also
Ready, willing, and waiting
to be protected by Your love.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to be held by Your grace.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to be hidden in Your mercy.
Ready, willing, and waiting
to be defended by Your power.
Because I know
that I won't always be
ready, willing, and waiting.

We do live a circular life. There are days when our thoughts are focused on God and days when we coast on our own power. There are days when we walk with God and days when He carries us.

A question from the meditation:

If someone watched a DVD of your last six weeks, would they conclude that you are a person who is ready, willing, and waiting to have God do exactly what he has promised to do in, with, and through you?

It depends on the day. I know that no good thing dwells in me. It’s only as I abide in Jesus that good comes out of my life. I wish I let Him live through me all the time but I don’t. What I am without Him rises to the surface and causes all kinds of problems.

Philip

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Admission or Confession?

2010-12-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that there is a difference between admission and confession, and I think that’s important to recognize. Admission is just sharing something that’s wrong so you can get it off your chest. Confession, on the other hand, is the beginning of transformation.

When you confess something that’s shattered in your life, something that you’ve kept hidden, you’re acknowledging that you need the Cross. You need God’s grace, and you’re willing to allow it to find you as you seek the truth.

From Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson

Broken Bones

2010-12-05T07:05:00.001-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts are in red.

Let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Psalm 51:8

I must admit it it; I have a low tolerance for difficulty. I am a project-oriented person, so I tend to have an agenda for every day. I know exactly what I want to accomplish and what a successful day will look like. I don't want to have to deal with interruptions or obstructions. I want the situations, locations, and people around me to willingly participate in my plan. All of this means that it's counterintuitive for me to view difficulty as something beneficial. I've little time and tolerance for "broken bones."

I identify with this mindset. I like to be able to schedule things in my day so all goes smoothly – at least in my view. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like things to be unpredictable or up in the air.

My problem is that my Redeemer is the redeemer of broken bones. Maybe you're thinking, "Paul, what in the world are you talking about?" "Broken bones" is a physical metaphor for the pain of redemption. In case you've noticed, God's work of delivering you from your addiction to self and sin and molding you into his image isn't always a comfortable process. Sometimes, in order to make our crooked hearts straight God has to break some bones. I gotta confess, I don't like broken bones.

It is so much easier when we yield willingly and without a fight. Recognize what’s wrong, agree with God and accept the grace which brings change. But it’s usually not that way because we enjoy our sin even when it’s messing us up.

I love the way the prophet Amos talks about this (Amos 4). It's a bit of a disconcerting passage until you wrap your brain around what the prophet is saying about why God is doing what he's doing. Listen to the "broken bones" phraseology of this passage:

"I gave you cleanness of teeth in all your cities,
and lack of bread in all your places."

. . . . . . . . . .

"I also withheld rain the from you
when there were yet three months to the harvest;

I would send rain on one city ..
one field would have rain,
and the field on which it did not rain would wither;

so two or three cities would wander to another city

to drink water, and would not be satisfied."

. . . . . . . . . .

"I struck you with blight and mildew;
your many gardens and your vineyards,
your fig trees and your olive trees the locust devoured."

. . . . . . . . . .

"I sent among you a pestilence after the manner of Egypt;

I killed your young men with the sword,
and carried away your horses,
and I made the stench of your camp go up into your nostrils."

. . . . . . . . . .

"I overthrew some of you, as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah,
and you were as a brand plucked out of the burning."

Amos 4:6-11

Too bad many people stop here and blame God for their problems and accuse Him of not caring about what is going on in their life. “How could a God of love let this happen?”

Now, you have to ask, "Why would a God of love do this to the people he says he loves?" Well, there's a phrase that's repeated after every stanza of this scary poem that's the answer to this question. Pay attention to these words: "yet you did not return to me." These acts that seem like the product of vengeful anger are actually acts of redemptive love. You see, in doing these things God is actually fulfilling his covenantal commitment to satisfy the deepest needs of his people. And what is it that they need most? The answer is simple and clear throughout all of Scripture; more than anything else they need him!

This is what we need to keep in mind every day: everything that God does and allows is designed to pull us to Him. If we remember that, the difficulties we encounter will be easier to accept.

But this is exactly where the rub comes in. Although our greatest personal need is to live in a life-shaping relationship with the Lord, as sinners we have hearts that are prone to wander. We very quickly forget him and begin to put some aspect of the creation in his place. We very soon forget that he's to be the center of everything we do, and we put ourselves in the center of our universe. We easily lose sight of the fact that our hearts were made for him, and that deep sense of well-being that all of us seek can only be found in him. We rapidly forget the powerfully addicting dangers of sin and think we can step over God's boundaries without moral cost. So, God in the beauty of his redeeming love will "break our bones." He'll bring us through difficulty, want, suffering, sadness, loss, and grief in order to ensure that we are living in pursuit of the one thing that we desperately need—him.

I have to admit that many times or most of the time it takes something BIG to get my attention. I may feel God’s hand on me but it isn’t until the sound of the crack and the pain of the break that I am aroused from my slumber. Pain has a way of getting our attention. Sad to say, many times people refuse to respond to God’s loving call. For them Proverbs 29:1 speaks: He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.

It's time for us to embrace, teach, and encourage others with the theology of uncomfortable grace. As long as sin still lives inside of us, producing in each of us a propensity to forget and wander, God's grace will come to us in uncomfortable forms. You may be wondering where the grace of God is in your life, when actually you're getting it. But it's not the grace of release or relief; no, you're getting the uncomfortable grace of rescue, relationship, and refinement.

How many times do we try to alleviate the pain in someone’s life that is there to help them? It may be through welfare, drugs, misplaced sympathy or words that help cover-up what is going on in their life.

So, if you are God's child, resist the temptation to doubt his goodness in the middle of your stress. It's time for us to stop thinking that our difficulty is a sign of his unfaithfulness and inattention. If you are God's child and you still recognize the battle of sin within, then those difficulties are sure signs of rescuing redemptive love. God isn't withholding his grace from you. No, you're experiencing uncomfortable grace, grace that's willing to break bones in order for your heart to be true. This grace is unwilling to give up. This grace will not turn its back. This grace will not accept the status quo. This grace will not compromise or grow cynical. God hasn't forgotten you. He loves you with real love, and he's giving you real grace. And he'll continue to do so until you're finally free of your propensity to wander away. Now that's real love.

We can understand this because we see how God acts in Scripture. It’s dangerous when we let the messages of the world crowd out God’s message. The solution is daily washing in the Word.

A question from the meditation:

What is God doing in your life right now in order to draw you more closely into a more committed relationship with him?

People I love are in bad situations that I can do nothing to change. I pray for the will of God to prevail in their lives. I pray for them to respond to God’s loving grace that can bring rescue, relationship and refinement. I know only God can fix what’s wrong.

Philip

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Grace That Hides

2010-11-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts are in red.

Hide your face from my sins.
Psalm 51:9

It seems like the last thing you would want to pray. It seems like it would be the thing that you'd fear the most. Who would want God to "hide his face?" God "shining the light of his face" on us is a picture of acceptance and blessing. The darkest moment of suffering for Christ was when God turned his back on him in those final moments on the cross. In a horrible moment of grief Christ cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34). Yet, as David stands before God as a humble repenting man, he does what seems to be unthinkable; he asks God to hide his face. What is it that David is pleading with God to do?

Sin causes us to hide from God. It may be a closing of our heart towards Him or dropping out of church or staying away from godly friends. Would we want Him to hide His face so He doesn’t see what we are doing or have done?

On the other side of lust, adultery, and murder, David is filled with the sense of the enormity of his sin. The weight of what he's carrying isn't just about how he used his God-given position to take a woman who wasn't his and use her for his pleasure. The weight on him wasn't just about how he plotted the death of Uriah, Bathsheba's husband. The weight had to do with his understanding of the extent of his problem with sin. David acknowledges the fact that he came into the world with this profound moral problem (Psalm 51:5). He scans back across his life and can't recognize a point where sin wasn't with him. But there's an even deeper awareness that sits on David's heart like a lead weight. He's come to understand that his sin was directly and personally against God. What he did, he did in the face of God. He rejected God's authority and made himself his own master. He rejected God's wisdom and acted as if he knew better. He rejected God's call and decided to do what pleased him rather than what pleased God. In the middle of the outrageousness of his rebellion, how could David ever stand before a holy God?

I think ultimate repentance is when we recognize and admit that our sin is against God, that it hurts Him and others and that it ceases being about us such as when we are sorry for having been caught or that we are now suffering some consequence. But why was David asking God to hide His face?

This confusing request actually demonstrates that David gets it right. He understands the comprehensiveness and the directness of the rebellion of his sin. He understands that as a sinner he can't stand in the presence of a holy God. What David doesn't understand is that when he prays for God to hide his face, he's praying for the cross. Something needs to come between God's holiness and my sin. Something needs to happen so that sinners, like David, can stand in God's presence and be completely unafraid. David couldn't possibly have known where the story of redemption was going, so he asks the only thing that makes sense to him: "Lord, won't you please hide your face from my sin, because if you don't, I am doomed."

Knowing what was accomplished on the cross gives us a completely different perspective than what David had but sometimes we don’t live with that understanding. We may hide or want God to hide or feel there is something we need to do to help take care of our sin. Maybe we need to beat ourselves up for awhile to show we are really sorry?

The cross was what David was pleading for. The cross provides our covering. The cross provides our cleansing. The cross makes it possible for God to accept us fully without compromising his holiness. The cross allows us to be accepted, not based on what we've done but based on what Christ has done. The cross allows sinners to be declared righteous! Christ covers us, so that as God looks on us he sees the perfect righteousness of Christ that's been given to our account.

So because of the cross we can admit our sin in confession and then be forgiven and cleansed; that is the reality. But everything in us fights against such an idea.

Isn't it amazing that the life, death, and resurrection of Christ mean that sinners no longer have to be afraid of God's face? Christ has answered David's prayer. He took the Father's rejection so that we'd be able to stand in the Father's presence and be unafraid. We don't have to ask God to hide his face, and we don't have to search for ways to hide from God. Jesus has made it possible for sinners to stand before a holy God and rest until the sin inside those sinners is no more.

This is amazing grace. It’s not about me cleaning up me, or perfecting me. It’s all about what God has done and the power now available in me through Him.

A question from the meditation:

Have you embraced the fact that your acceptance with God is not based on your position or performance but on the righteousness of Christ that has been given over to your account?

I have but it can still be a battle. Will I ever get completely away from the idea that there is something I should do; something from me that I can add to what Jesus did? That I somehow have to say I’m sorry more that once to show I really mean it.

Philip

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Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.
Colossians 4:2

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:57

I am very thankful for salvation and the process of sanctification. I am thankful for the family that God has given to me. I am thankful for friends that inspire me to walk closer to Jesus. I am thankful for a good job. I am thankful that I got to spend a lot of time with my dad before he died.

I am thankful for this long weekend, that we will be able to feast later today, good music, silence, running water, good coffee, good books, Samson Society, that I was adopted and for money in my pocket.

Thankfulness gives me perspective.

Philip

Grace?

2010-11-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we’ve been churches that preach a grace up front for those who aren’t Christians and a grace at the end for those who follow the rules and are “good Christians,” but we’ve tragically neglected the people in between. The truth is that none of us, even on our best, “holiest” days – the days we don’t cuss or look at porn or yell at our spouse or at the idiot who cut us off in traffic – even our best days aren’t holy enough to be looked at by God.

Anne Jackson
Permission to Speak Freely

Forgiveness

2010-11-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is abbreviated and my thoughts are in red.

Blot out all my iniquities. Psalm 51:9

If the universe weren't ruled by a God of forgiveness, there would he no Psalm 51. It would be an act of self-destructive irrationality to stand before the One who controls it all and admit that you've willingly rebelled against his commands, but that's exactly what David does. He embraces the two realities that, if understood and acted upon, will fundamentally transform his life. The narrative of redemption, that is, the core content of Scripture, is the story of the interaction of these two themes.

To admit sin or rebellion puts you at the mercy of the one you confess to. They have the goods. If they want they can use it against you.

By coming to God with humble words of confession, David demonstrates that he's embraced the unique answers that God in his Word gives to these universally asked questions. What's wrong with people? The Bible is very clear and very simple; the answer is sin. The Bible directs us to look inside of ourselves and not outside. The Bible calls us to admit that we are our greatest problem. And the Bible chronicles how sin within distorts our thoughts, desires, choices, actions, and words. But the Bible does more. It shows us how sin puts us at war with God. It demonstrates to us how sin causes us to want to be self-sovereigns and our own lawgivers. Scripture pictures what happens when we try to set up our own little claustrophobic kingdoms of one, rather than living for the kingdom of God. The Bible requires each of us to accept, at the most practical of levels, that we have profound moral flaws within us that we can do absolutely nothing in ourselves to solve.

I’ve seen the distortion of sin first hand this week. Thoughts, desires, choices, actions, and words all warped. A family member is being completely ravaged. It started a long time ago with small diversions from God’s truth and then church was dropped. From active pursuit of God to coasting to flying backwards. Previously unthinkable things are being embraced. Self has become god.

So if sin is my problem then what do I do? The world tells us to hide behind an excuse. Religion tells us we need to beat ourselves up; show we are really sorry; do something to make up for it.

But David's words of confession prove that David has embraced something else. He comes because he really does believe that there's hope and help to be found. He knows that admitting sin is not a death sentence. He knows that, although he can't solve his greatest problem, there's a place where the solution can he found. The only hope for sinners is forgiveness. To put it even more forcefully, the only hope for sinners is that the One who's in charge of the universe is a God of forgiveness. The bottom line is this: if God is unwilling to forgive, we are doomed. But he's willing! The story that winds its way across the pages of the Bible is a story of God's active willingness to forgive. He controls the forces of nature and directs human history to bring the universe to the point where the Final Priest—the Sacrificial Lamb, the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ—comes to earth, lives a perfect life, and gives himself as a sacrifice for our sins. All of this is done so that our deepest problem, sin, will find its only solution, forgiveness, without God compromising his character, his plan, or his law in any way.

This changes everything. We don’t have to be afraid to come clean. Repentance brings forgiveness.

The content of the Bible is the worst of news (you are a sinner) and the best of news (God is willing to forgive). It's only when you're ready to admit the worst that you then open yourself up to what's best. All of this means that you and I don't have to live in denial and avoidance. We don't have to play self-excusing logic games with ourselves. We don't have to give ourselves to systems of penance and self-atonement. We don't have to point the finger of blame at others. We don't have to perform our way into God's favor. No, we can come to him again and again just as we are, flawed, broken, and unclean, and know that he'll never turn away anyone who comes to him and says, "I have sinned; won't you in your grace forgive?"

I think it can be hard because we are so used to our experience with other humans. We have all experienced coming clean on something and then it becomes a club to beat us down. But Scripture shows that it is not that way with God. He longs to forgive, to wash away the sin and to reconcile us to Him.

There's no sin too great, there's no act too heinous, and there's no person beyond hope. The offer is open and free. There's no requirement of age, gender, ethnicity, location, or position. God welcomes you to come. He asks only that you admit your sin and seek what can be found only in him—forgiveness. He is able, he is willing, and with grace that we will maybe never be able to fully grasp, he says, "Come."

What a sweet promise that is and after forgiveness He never brings it up again. Amazing!

A question from the meditation:

Do you really believe that you can stand before God just as you are and be unafraid? Pray that God would fill you heart with this assurance.

This is an area I have never had a problem with. I have always understood that God does want to forgive and I have been able to accept it. Now with people it is another story.

Philip

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The Amazing Grace of Self-knowledge

2010-11-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is abbreviated and my thoughts are in red.

For I know my transgressions. Psalm 51:3

I have counseled people for many years, and one of the things that has impressed me over and over again is how self-deluded people (including me) can be. It's amazing how hard it is to see ourselves with accuracy. It's been my experience over and over again that we see the other person with a fairly high degree of accuracy but can't seem to see ourselves with the same precision.

This is why we need other people in our lives. They can see what we can’t.

I have had angry people get quite angry when I've suggested that they are angry! I've had controlling people posit that they think themselves to be quite serving. I've watched vengeful people seem unaware that they lived to settle the score with others. I've worked with men eaten with the cancer of lust who tell me that sex isn't a big struggle for them. I've had bitter wives give me the litany of ways they think that they are loving their husbands. I've counseled a gymnasium full of teenagers who really do think that they are wiser than the surrounding authorities. I've sat with ungracious and legalistic pastors and heard them talk of their allegiance to a theology of grace.

Self delusion is a very powerful thing. The heart is deceitful above all things. Jeremiah 17:9

Why are we so deluded? The reasons are many. We make the mistake of comparing ourselves to the diluted standards of the surrounding culture, standards that fall far below God's will for us. We also make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others, always able to find someone who appears to be more sinful than we are. We spend so much time arguing for our righteousness that it leaves little time to reflect on the reality of remaining sin. Add to all of this the basic nature of sin. Sin is deceitful. It hides, it defends itself, it wears masks, it bends its shape into more acceptable forms, it points fingers of blame, and it even questions the goodness of God. Sin always first deceives the person who is sinning the sin.

The only good standard is God’s word. The world, the flesh and the devil will try to muddy the waters so we don’t see clearly. If we want to escape delusion then we need a daily immersion in the Word.

So, since sin is by its very nature deceitful, we need help in order to see ourselves with accuracy. Another way to say this is that personal spiritual insight is the result of community. We don't get it all by ourselves. We need a ministry of two communities in order to see ourselves with the kind of surgical clarity with which David speaks in this psalm. First, we need community with God. He's the ultimate opener of blind eyes. Through the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit we begin to see ourselves with accuracy and become willing to own up to what we see. But the Spirit uses instruments, and this is where the second community comes in. God employs people in the task of giving sight to other people. For David, that was the prophet Nathan.

Nathan was the voice of confrontation, exposure and judgment. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can voluntarily put people in our life to be the eyes we lack. We need someone to give a different perspective in our life. That can keep us from horrible situations and compromise.

There are a whole lot of people who are blindly stumbling their way through life. But their blindness is made even more powerful and dangerous by the fact that they tend to be blind to their blindness. A physically blind person is never blind to his blindness. He's immediately confronted with the fact that he's unable to see, and he gives himself a whole catalog of ways to live inside the boundaries set by this profound physical deficiency. The scary reality is that one of the things that keeps spiritually blind people blind is that they're not only convinced that they see, but they're also convinced that they see quite well! And so they don't seek help for their blindness. Why seek help for a condition from which you are convinced you don't suffer?

Again, the things we are blind to can be clearly seen by others around us. The wise person establishes a relationship with at least one other person to help fill that gap.

A question from the meditation:

In what ways has God's grace enabled you to know yourself better today than you once did?

The Samson Society has been a big help in my life. I meet with a group of men each week who are committed to walking the journey of life together. It’s a place where I can tell the truth about whatever is going on in my life. I also have a friend who I talk with on a regular basis, sometimes every day. He sees my life differently than I do. He listens and sometimes offers advice. It’s through these relationships that I think I see better than I did several years ago.

Philip

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Sacrifices

2010-11-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts in red.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

Perhaps
if I give You
some of my time.
Perhaps
if I give You
some of my strength.
Perhaps
if I give You
some of my things.
Perhaps
if I give You
some of my thoughts.
Perhaps
if I give You
some of my success.
Perhaps
if I give You
some of my relationships.

Some…. We want to give some. We are afraid to give all. It happens repeatedly because there is always a new area of our life where we are being challenged and changed.

We don’t get it right one time and that’s it. We don’t one day become mature in Christ. We are constantly realizing that there is another area to work on.

Surely
these sacrifices
will bring You delight.
Surely
these offerings
will bring You joy.
I'm quite willing
to give a tithe
I'm quite willing
to interrupt
my schedule.
I'm quite willing
to volunteer
to serve.
I'm quite willing
to do
my part.

My part…. I want it defined so I can do it and then go on. I like my schedule. I want things to fit nicely. I don’t want my plans interrupted. I don’t like things left hanging.

But I get the sense
that You're not satisfied
with a piece of me.
I get the sense
that momentary giving
momentary service
momentary sacrifice
momentary ministry
the momentary turning
of my heart to You
will not satisfy You.

He wants it all and all the time. He wants me to yield, to let go, to open my hand, to close the schedule book.

But I must admit
that I'm afraid
of what You require.
I'm afraid of a
broken spirit.
I'm afraid of a
contrite heart.
I'm afraid to be
crushed by Your grace.
So I try to
distract You
with my service
distract You
with my time
distract You
with my money.

Again. I gave it all before but it’s new again; a new area where the light is shining; a new area to learn the same lesson again. It seems it should be easier.

Deep inside
I know what You want.
Deep inside
I'm sure of what You require.
I'm afraid
because I want to hold onto
my heart.
I want
to give it to other things.
I want to
pursue pleasures
outside of You.
I'm afraid
to give You
what would satisfy You.
I'm afraid of a
broken heart.
So I regularly offend You
with empty offerings
and vacuous praise.
Hoping
to my own destruction
that you'll be satisfied.

The common thread of all these lessons is I should trust. It’s new and unfamiliar but You are the same. I will be most satisfied when I am satisfied with You. I will be safe as I yield all to You.

Take a Moment

Stop and celebrate how Jesus' willingness to pay the ultimate sacrifice enables our sacrifices to be acceptable to God.

Philip

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Appealing to God's Glory

2010-10-31T05:30:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts in red.

Then you will delight in right sacrifices . . . ; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Psalm 51:19

You're always in a safe place when you're appealing to God's glory. This is exactly what David does in Psalm 51:18-19: "In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem" (NIV). Why? "Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar" (NIV). David is essentially saying, "God, bless your people, because if you do, they'll live for your glory." This is what all truly biblical prayer will do. We often reduce prayer to a laundry list of self-focused needs in which we ask God to exercise his power for the sake of our comfort or for the purpose of self-glory. You know the requests:

"God, give me wisdom at work (so I can make more money and acquire more power)."

"God, alleviate my financial woes (so I have more money to spend on the pleasure and possessions that will make me happy)."

"God, help my daughter to be more respectful (so that my evenings will be more peaceful so I can get the things done that I want to get done)."

"God, work in the life of my husband (so I can finally experience the marriage of my dreams)."

"God, give me a better relationship with my neighbor (so he will like me enough to make his dog quit trampling my flower beds)."

"God, please heal my body (so that I can do the physical things that I love to do)."

This is a good thing to think about. It’s always good to pray but maybe the motivation isn’t always right. Things can get so mixed up that we may not see the motivation clearly. Is it for me or for the greater purpose of God’s kingdom and glory?

So much of our prayer has nothing to do with the glory of God. Regrettably, in much of our prayer we're actually asking God to endorse our pursuit of a whole catalog of self-focused false glories. For God to be willing to do that would not only mean a denial of who he is, but it would also mean our destruction.

It’s good that God doesn’t always answer prayer the way we want. We may not be self-focused but we may not be seeing the bigger picture. This is where trust comes in. If things aren’t going the way we want, we wait.

But perhaps you're thinking, "Paul, it doesn't seem loving for God to be so focused on his own glory. How does it help me to have God's zeal for his own glory be greater than his zeal for anything else?" This is a very good question and worthy of an answer.

First, don't fall into evaluating the character of God as you'd evaluate the character of a human being. God is not a man and cannot be judged by the standards that he has set for human beings. For a human to be obsessed by his own glory would be a horrendous spirit of pride and self-aggrandizement. But not so with God.

We mess up when we create God in our image. He is not the same as us. We need to remember that He is God and we are not.

So, it is right, good, and beneficial for God to find his greatest pleasure in his own glory simply because he is God. You see, in delighting in his own glory, calling us to live for his glory, and enabling us to do so, God frees us from our self-destructive addiction to self-glory and the endless catalog of false glories that comes with it.

There are a lot of things that fit in that catalog. We are always looking for something that puts us higher than others. It may be education, money, accomplishments, sports, Bible knowledge, game scores, cars, toys, words, etc.

So, God's unshakable commitment to his own glory is the most loving thing he could ever do for us. It's what redeems us from us and breaks our bondage to all the things in life that we wrongly think will give us life but lead only to emptiness and ultimately death.

So when I live for God’s glory I am the most happy, satisfied and content. I experience what I hoped to find in so many other things that proved to be disappointing.

A question from the meditation:

How much of your prayer is dominated by requests that have to do with your vision of glory? What changes in your prayer would take place if your prayer was shaped by an appeal to God's glory?

I am trying to keep this in mind as I go through my prayer list. It’s a subtle but true distinction. I may not even be me that I am praying for. I might be praying for someone else but not see how my prayer should be focused. Am I praying for comfort, promotion or help that simply benefits them or am I looking at the bigger picture? In praying right, I align with God’s will and glory.

Philip

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Fight or Flinch

2010-10-26T10:40:00.000-06:00

If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the word of God except precisely that little point which the world and the Devil are at that point attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is tested. To be steady in all the battlefields besides is mere flight and disgrace, if the soldier flinches at that one point.

Martin Luther

This quote has been used a lot by the prolife movement to call pastors to speak out on abortion. I think that is a proper application as abortion must be viewed as one of the most crucial battles going on; not the only one, but probably close to the top of the list.

Sadly, most pastors seem unable to find their voice on abortion. In the past, a ministry I was involved with would prod pastors to preach a prolife sermon at least once a year but we didn't have much success. Of course, there are rare but notable exceptions.

The same thing is happening with homosexuality. Sermons on the truth of God’s Word relating to this subject are uncommon as well.

Why? Sometimes a pastor speaks out and then receives a firestorm of criticism. Sometimes he is not well versed on the arguments. He may view these as political issues and doesn’t want to taint his pulpit. He may look out at the people and figure that many of them are personally affected and he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.

The same happened with divorce. So many in the church have been divorced so pastors can’t bring themselves to say it’s wrong. The sad result is the problem is compounded. People don’t know what God’s Word says so they end up doing what the world tells them to do.

All of us have our flinching point. It may be easy for me to speak on certain subjects but harder on others. I may have it together in certain areas but am a mess in many others. So it’s not an us verses them message. What we have to do is recognize where we have a hard time and move towards getting it right.

If your pastor speaks on a controversial subject let him know you support him and why. It’s a hard job he has to do in this culture.

If you are a pastor then know that your words can change lives. Your lack of words can do the same. Realize that most people in your church are deeply affected by the world and are not searching out these issues themselves. Do you know where the world and the devil are now attacking? Find out and then find your voice. Don’t give a surface sermon. Dig deep and preach deep. Don’t let criticism deter you. Be the man! Give a challenge to your people. They may squirm and complain but history will vindicate you.

Philip

Sermon on the Mount

2010-10-24T06:16:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is indented and abbreviated.

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Psalm 51:6

Confession results in deeper personal insight. Further confession leads to greater insight. This is one of the graces of confession. You see this spiritual dynamic operating in the life of David in Psalm 51. This man, who was so completely blinded by his own lust that he wasn't able only to use his God-given position of political power to take another man's wife but also to put a contract out on her husband and have him killed, is now able to see not only his behavioral wrongs but the heart behind them as well.

I was thinking about the idea of confession leading to insight and more confession leading to greater insight. I’ve seen that working in my own life. At first there is usually denial – I didn’t do anything wrong. Then responding to the Holy Spirit I admit something and that admission leads to complete confession. It’s hard to admit that. I don’t want to think of myself as so devious, dishonest and deceived. Thank God for His mercy.

You and I will only ever be holy by God's definition if we put the moral fences where God puts them. We tend to put the fences at the boundary of behavior. For example, rather than telling our children the importance of a respectful heart and the issues of heart that cause us not to respect others as we should, we instruct our children to use titles of respect when they're relating to others. Now, there's nothing wrong with this as far as it goes; the problem is that enforcing certain behaviors won't create a spirit of respectfulness. A child who's mad at his teacher for an assignment she's given may say, "Whatever you say, Mrs. Smith!" in a tone that's anything but respectful. The teacher immediately knows that the child has used a title of respect to tell her that he doesn't respect her at all, but to tell her that in a way that won't get him into trouble!

I don’t completely agree with this. I know it can’t change the heart but certain fences can help. I remember a friend telling me he was reluctant to install a filter on his Internet because he knew that what was needed was a change in his heart. Without a heart change, the filter will end up being bypassed. That’s true but sometimes the fence will protect us in our moments of weakness. It makes it a little harder to take the action of sin.

This is where Christ's teaching from the Sermon on the Mount is so helpful. Christ draws the fences in much closer. He calls for us to fence our hearts because he knows that it's only when we fence the heart that we'll willingly and successfully stay inside God-appointed behavioral fences. So he says, "You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27- 28).

Consider the importance of what Christ does here. He isn't adding to the seventh commandment. No, he's interpreting it for us. He's telling us what the intention and extent of the command has always been. God knows what lust lusts for. Lust doesn't lust for more lust. Lust lusts for the physical experience of the thing that's the object of the lust. A heart controlled by sexual lust won't be satisfied with better and more graphic fantasies. No, a lustful heart craves the actual experience and will only be satisfied when it has actually experienced the thing for which it lusts. This is why it never works to put the fences at the boundary of behavior. Even if I've placed clear fences there, I'll cut through them or climb over them if I haven't first fenced my heart.

As I said before, I think there is a place for the fence. I know it’s not enough in itself but it serves a purpose; maybe like training wheels on a bike. I hope to teach my children lessons that result in heart change but there are plenty of fences I put up to protect them until they are more mature.

Have you fenced your heart? Have you tried to stay inside of behavioral boundaries only to have climbed over them again and again? Go and read the wisdom of the Sermon on the Mount, which is found in Matthew 5 through 7, and ask God to "teach you wisdom in the inmost place." By God's grace, determine to fight the battle of thought and desire, knowing full well that it's only when you win this battle that you can be successful in the battle of behavior. And rest assured that when you fight this battle you aren't fighting alone, but your Lord wages war on your behalf.

I am thankful for the changes that have happened in my heart through the years. I’m thankful for the things that have lost their grip so an external fence isn’t necessary. I am thankful that the Lord does fight on my behalf and through grace changes my heart.

Take a Moment

What "fences of the heart" do you need to erect that are not there now?

Where is there evidence that you are stepping over God's "boundaries of the heart?" Stop and confess and receive God's offer of forgiveness.

Philip

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Pastoral Search Committee Report

2010-10-21T19:32:00.000-06:00

In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. The list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each.

• Noah: He has 120 years of preaching experience, but no converts.

• Moses: He stutters, and the former congregation says he loses his temper over trivial things.

• Abraham: He took off to Egypt during hard times. We heard that he got into trouble with the authorities and then tried to lie his way out.

• David: He is an unacceptable moral character. He might have been considered for minister of music had he not "fallen."

• John: He says he is a Baptist but lacks tact and dresses like a hippie. He would not feel comfortable at a church potluck supper.

• Peter: He has a bad temper and was heard to deny Christ publicly.

• Paul: We found him to lack tact. He is too harsh, his appearance is contemptible, and he preaches far too long.

• Timothy: He has potential but is much too young for the position.

• Jesus: He tends to offend church members, especially Bible scholars, with his preaching. He is also too controversial. He even offended the search committee with His pointed questions.

• Judas: He seemed to be very practical, cooperative, good with money, concerned for the poor, and professionally dressed. We all agreed that he is just the man we are looking for to fill the vacancy as our Senior Pastor.

God’s Pleasure

2010-10-17T06:30:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. My thoughts in red.

Then you will delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Psalm 51:19

I must admit
I am embarrassed
by
what gives me
pleasure.
It doesn't take
much
to make me
smile.
I get
real pleasure
from
a good steak
nice chocolate
a comfortable
bed.
I want the joy
of
cold soda
and
hot tea.
I want the bathroom
to
be empty when
I need it.
I want the streets
I drive on
to
be free of other
drivers.
I want people
to
respect my opinions
and
validate my plans.
I want my wife
to
be satisfied
with me as
I am.
I want
my bills all
paid
and plenty of money
to
do the pleasurable
things
that make me
happy.

It’s all about me and what I want. I have an idea of what would make me happy and I pursue it. I want to feel good. I want things to taste good and to smell good. I want comfort. But what if I am wrong? What if I’m looking at the wrong things in the wrong places? What if the pleasure I experience is a cheap substitute? What if I’ve been fooled?

But God
isn't like
me.
His pleasures
aren't a sad
catalog
of
low-grade
idolatries.
His desires
aren't shaped
by
ravenous self-focus.
He
doesn't.
live
in a perpetual state
of
self-absorbed
discontent.
His pleasures
are never
regrettable
ugly
or
unholy.
When
God smiles
His reason
is holy
and His purpose
is
pure.
He finds
great pleasure
in His glory
and
great joy
when
the repentant
turn
from the pursuit
of
their own glory and
turn
toward His.
He has
great pleasure
in
the success
of
His plan
and finds
satisfaction
in seeing
His children
turn
from their pleasure
to
live for
His.

If we don’t understand God, the above would seem incredibly self-centered. Why does everything have to be about Him? Why do I have to do everything He wants me to do? Why do I have to live for His pleasure? But to know Him is to realize that when I live that way, everything falls into place. I experience the highest pleasure and contentment.

Someday
by His grace
the pleasures
that give me
pleasure
will be
the things that
please God.
Until then
my
hope is in the
fact
that He finds
delight
in rescuing those
who
have been led
astray
by their pleasures
because
once more today
I'm
going to need
that rescue.
And I'll need
it
every day until
my
deepest pleasures
are nowhere to be found
in
the creation
and only to be found
in
the Creator.

Isn’t it great that He works in us? I don’t have to muster the strength to change myself. He shows me what is wrong and gives grace and strength to change. He lets me taste what true pleasure is and a longing for it is planted in me.

A question from the meditation:

How close is what gives you pleasure to what gives God pleasure?

It’s something I know in my head but it’s not something I live everyday. The world is so good in pushing its stuff. Every day it’s in my face. Something to buy, eat, look at or listen to; another hollow promise. But I have tasted the true pleasure, the experience of knowing I am doing exactly what God wants; I have felt His smile. So to answer the question, it depends on the day.

Philip

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Righteous Judgment

2010-10-10T06:36:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is indented and abbreviated.

. . . so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Or as The Message says, You’re the one I’ve violated, and you’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. Psalm 51:4

What an interesting thing for a man who's confessing sin to say! Why would David be talking about God's justice? Now, it makes sense, when you have the sense to confess, to remind God of his mercy, but to stand before him and remind him of his justice is another thing all together.

Let me suggest that there are two ways that the justice of God should comfort us sinners. First, his justice means that his assessment of us is accurate. It isn't colored or slanted by prejudice or bias of any kind. It isn't shaped by any kind of hidden personal agenda. God's assessment isn't weakened by favoritism or the cynicism of previous experience.

He loves us and that is how He filters everything about us.

Unlike my experience in this broken world, I don't have to fear that God will wrongly associate me with some group, or have his view of me colored by a grudge, or have his perspective on me colored by irritation or impatience. I can rest assured that God's view of me is trustworthy in every way. And because God's view of me is untainted by sin, it's clearly more reliable than any view that I'd have of myself.

That’s what makes it easier to take God’s scrutiny of us. It’s the opposite of what makes it hard to accept the same scrutiny from some people.

Second, the way that God as Judge responds to me is right and pure as well. God's discipline of me is without personal bias. It isn't weakened by anger or impatience. His justice is never distorted because he's lost his temper or has tired of dealing with me. To add to this, since he isn't only just, but also merciful, loving, and kind as well, God's justice is always restrained and tempered by these things.

I know I am less than beneficial many times when helping other people see their faults. If we are angry, exasperated or annoyed we treat people differently. We hang things over their head and magnify their imperfections to make our own look smaller.

So, I can place myself in the hands of the justice of the one who sees me with accuracy and deals with me righteously. We stand before God unafraid, not because we're acceptable to him, but because his justice has been satisfied by the death of Jesus. So, God is to us both the One who's just and the One who justifies!

I don't have to manipulate God's view of me.
I don't have to run from him in fear.
I don't have to rationalize away my wrongs.
I don't have to work to shift the blame to someone else.
I don't have to put forward false pretenses.
I don't have to marshal arguments for my acceptability.
I don't have to try to buy my way into his favor.

No, I can be who I am and what I am and stand in the light of his righteousness without fear, because Jesus has taken my sin and suffered my stripes. So the One who is my Judge is also my Justifier. There is rest. There is hope.

We don’t have to pretend with God. He knows what we are and is working to change us. He knows we fail and it doesn’t change His emotional love for us.

Take a Moment

Stop and consider how sweet it is that you stand before a God whose assessment of you is not colored by ugly prejudice or self-serving bias. Think of how comforting it is to know that his view of you is always accurate and true.

It's beyond sweet but it's still sad that I run and hide. What is there to fear?

Philip

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Deceptive Peace

2010-10-09T07:50:00.000-06:00

“It must have been the right thing to do because I feel such peace.”

In a world guided by subjective emotions, objective truth is easily discarded. The guiding principals are gems such as, “Follow your heart” or “If it feels good, do it.” The conclusion, “It can’t be wrong because it feels so right.”

A basic definition of peace is a state of tranquility without disturbance or agitation. So I guess if you are in a coma, we might describe you as peaceful but most outside observers wouldn’t think all is well.

How about the calm before the storm? Maybe the peace someone feels is a brief, deceptive moment before the coming consequences.

I think using peace as a judge of good or bad decision making is very dangerous. As Christians, we speak of the peace from God as a good thing. Philippians 4:6-7 has this to say, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I don’t see peace here as a sign of good decision making but as a result of prayer. When I pray for my prodigal children instead of worrying about them I receive peace from God. That peace lets me rest in the knowledge that God loves them and is working in them. Even with that peace I still have an unsure turmoil in wondering what part I played in their messed-up lives.

Probably the strongest argument for peace in decision making is this: “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15) Rule in this verse means to arbitrate or to act as an umpire. An arbitrator or umpire has to act according to the rules. So the same here; the rules are the Word of God. That’s where everything has to start and end.

It’s good we have Scripture to guide us because we are reminded in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Without external objective guidance our internal compass gets out of calibration.

We also need other people to help guide us. Good friends can give perspective; they can see what may be unclear to us. We may be wrapped up in emotion and they bring clarity. Of course, the wrong voices can be destructive. If their lives are not guided by God’s Word then it may be the blind leading the blind. I heard an alcoholic talking about this recently. He realized that his friends were not going to help him out of his bondage; they didn’t see a problem. He recognized that he was going to need new friends before he was going to be successful with recovery.

Sometimes, the opposite of peace may be present when we are doing the right thing. Paul realized this in Acts 20:22-23 where he said, “And now, behold, I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me.” Of course there was a peace but not the way we may look at it. If Paul wanted to avoid hardship he could have said, “I just don’t feel a peace about going.”

So what it all comes down to is if God’s Word says something then our feelings don’t matter. If we are disobedient then the peace we feel may be God’s absence or maybe the calm before the storm He is about to unleash.

Philip

Loss

2010-10-05T15:04:00.000-06:00

Have you ever lost something very important? I guess all of us have. Some have lost things greater than others, or at least we think so. Have there been things you lost that after the passage of time didn’t really seem like a big deal?

I lost my hair and I am trying to lose some weight. I lost my mother twice. My birth mother was gone after my birth and my adopted mother died when I was 16.

I have lost children. I would have four more children if death hadn’t snatched them away before birth.

I’ve lost many years and moments that could have been shared with my family if I hadn’t been lost in the little world of me.

I lost most of my tools when my work van was broken into. Many of them were passed down from my Dad.

I have never lost a fortune although I have never had one to lose. I have never lost a wife through death or divorce. I have never lost the contents of our house in a fire. I have never lost my wallet or the car keys.

I found out yesterday that I lost something that was very important me. Partly through my error and partly through bad programming every comment left on this blog for the past four years is now gone. I don’t think there is anything that can be done to bring them back.

There were comments that told me I was stupid or misinformed. There were even some that said what I wrote was meaningful. It stings that all of these are gone because many times they filled-out or balanced something I wrote. Now all that is left is me and some of the time that’s not a good thing.

As I think about all of this I am reminded how often I get things backward. I value and spend time on and am anxious for so many things that don’t really matter. I also neglect many things that have eternal value. I wish confession meant getting it right; it doesn’t so I know I will continue to mess up. I will trudge along or speed along; fully convinced I’m on the right path. I thank God for people along the way whose comments help set me straight.

Philip

The Grace of a Clean Heart

2010-10-03T06:03:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is indented and abbreviated.

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Psalm 51:10

Could there be a more fundamental prayer request than this? Could there be anything more essential than this? Could there be any hope more beautiful than to believe that someday your heart and mine will be totally free from impurity of any kind? This is the most radical claim of all the claims of the gospel. This is the epicenter of what the cross of Jesus Christ alone can produce. This is the thing that the keeping of the law could never do.

This is the hope of every true Christian – to be pure before God. We keep the rules but we know it’s not just about the rules. We keep the rules because that’s what is in our heart.

Let's think about the theology of the heart that's behind David's request. Human beings have been made by God in two parts, the inner man and the outer man. The outer man is your physical self, your body. The body is the house you've been given for your heart. The inner man is given many names: mind, emotion, will, soul, spirit, to name a few. All of these terms are collected into one big basket term, heart. The heart is the control center of the human being. It's the center of your emotions, cognition, and desires. Essentially, what the Bible says is that the heart is the steering wheel of the human being. The heart controls, shapes, and directs everything you choose, say, and do. What controls the heart will therefore exercise unavoidable control over your behavior.

As a parent I’m always reminded (by my wife) that what’s important is the heart. We can force kids to do “right things” but what we really want is obedience from the heart. If the kids have right hearts the right behavior will follow. Now if only I could make their heart change.

What does this have to do with David's courageous request? David understands something that's fundamental to repentance. It's that sin isn't first a matter of behavior; it's first a matter of the heart. That's why Jesus said that to look at a woman and lust after her carries the moral value of the physical act of adultery. You see, since your heart guides your actions and words, if you allow your heart to lust, it won't be long before you commit the physical act.

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? In the same way it’s hard to understand heart versus behavior. Speaking of lust, you may innocently come across an image in a magazine or billboard. To look away and keep looking away may signify a pure heart or it may show incredible discipline when all inside wants to look. To take a second look may lead to lust. Where did the lust start? Was it already in the heart or did the behavior of a second look bring it about?

Or we could look at the other side of the coin. Worship is not first an activity. No, worship is first a position of the heart. It's only when my heart esteems God above everything else that I'll serve him with my time, energy, money, and strength. Impurity of the heart is not primarily about bad thoughts or bad desires. No, impurity of the heart is really about love for something in the creation replacing love that I was only ever meant to have for the Creator. And when I love something in creation more than I love God, I'll think, desire, say, and do bad things.

Again, there are many times we may have all the outward appearance of devotion to God but it may all be for show. We have to be careful how we look at other people. Do we judge them by the outward? I am surprised how many times people are elevated to various positions such as elder and deacon in churches because they are successful in business and wear a nice suit. In some cases their personal and home life are a mess but having them on the board looks good and may bring in some contributions. And many times the better qualified are overlooked because they don’t fit the image of success.

Now, what all of this means is that our biggest, most abiding, most life-shaping problem exists inside of us and not outside of us. What we actually need to be rescued from is us. What needs to be transformed in our lives is not so much our situation and relationships (although they need transformation as well). What really needs to be transformed are our hearts.

This is where we need to examine ourselves. With the help of God and good friends we can discover what our hearts are like.

Here's the gorgeous message of the gospel: even though I've bowed again and again to an endless catalog of God replacements, even though I've loved myself more than I've loved God, even though I've rebelled against God's kingdom and sought to set up my own kingdom, God comes to me in grace and wraps arms of love around me and begins a process that will result in the total transformation of the core of my personhood, the heart.

It’s encouraging that He pursues us and doesn’t give up. Sometimes it is a long, hard road.

So we wake up every morning knowing that by his grace our hearts are purer than they once were, and by his grace they'll be purer than they are today. So with thankfulness for the transformation that's already taken place and with the courage of hope of the transformation that's yet to come, we wake up, look to heaven, and say with David, "Create in me a clean heart."

Each day can be a little better than the one before.

Take a moment:

Celebrate the reality that your heart is purer than it once was as you pray for a further cleansing from the impurities that are still there.

Sometimes it’s hard to see change from close up. It’s easy to think that no progress is being made. Failures sap us of hope. The reality is that God is doing a work in us. I know I can look back through time and see the work He has done.

Philip

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Sunrise Celebration

2010-10-01T13:56:00.004-06:00

I was driving across town this morning to a business meeting. It was a little before 7 am. The eastern sky was ablaze with orange and red. The sun was rising and a camera could never capture what my eyes were seeing.

I felt sad for people who are not awake at this time of morning. I thought how amazing that God brings in each new day with a celebration.

Isn’t that how we should live? The Bible tells us that God’s mercies are new each morning. He is ready to start each day fresh.

Let the sunrise be a reminder of the amazing grace, mercy and forgiveness of God.

Philip

The Hardening of the Heart

2010-09-26T05:49:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is indented.

Uphold me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12

Could there be a scarier spiritual dynamic than the hardening of the heart? Could anything be sadder to watch than a warm and tender man become cold and hard? Could anything be more spiritually dangerous than the capacity of a sinner to grow quite comfortable with doing what would have once assaulted his conscience? What's worse than coming to a place where you actually have the capacity to feel right about what God says is wrong? What could be more threatening than the thought that, as sinners, we have an amazing capacity to deceive ourselves? David's story is a case study of this kind of danger. David prays for a broken heart because, in his confession, he's realized that his heart has become hard.

An amazing capacity to deceive ourselves – If we really believe that, we will be very careful in what we allow to influence us. The gateway of our eyes, ears and senses need to be protected. Small compromises lead to huge disasters.

When you read the story in 2 Samuel 11 and the words of confession in Psalm 51, you can't help but ask, "How did David get from the anointed king of Israel to a murdering adulterer? How could this good man end up in such a bad place? Such is the dangerous deceitfulness of sin and the disaster of the hardening of the heart. Here's the thing we all need to remember: sin isn't an event; no, it's a progressive movement of the heart that results in disobedient behavior.

The progressive movement starts with the small movement; the little thing that causes a prick of conscience but is ignored or suppressed. Next time it’s easier and we sink a little deeper.

Let's consider David's story. David inadvertently saw Bathsheba bathing. The fact that he saw her wasn't sin, but what he did with what he saw began the process of sin. It's clear that David wasn't repulsed by the temptation. It's clear that he didn't seek God's help. Why is this clear? Because of what he does next. David sends a servant to try to find out who this woman is. This isn't the action of a man who's running away from temptation. David immediately begins to move toward what he knows is wrong, and so in his heart he would have to be justifying what he was doing. David finds out that this woman he was lusting after was married. But again he doesn't stop; he doesn't run. No, he uses his political power to bring her to the palace. What did David tell himself he was going to do next? How did he justify what he was about to do with a married woman?

There a lot of things in this story left unsaid. What kind of woman was Bathsheba who bared her body in a place where someone like David could see. Is she like the women today who prance about with breasts mostly exposed and clothes so tight or revealing that little is left to the imagination? How hard was it to persuade her to come and hang out with the king?

Did David see her one time or was her bathing a ritual that he observed on other occasions? Did he give in right away or did he turn away and then come back for another peek. My guess was that it wasn’t a big fall all at once. I imagine that he gave into the small things that became bigger things that enabled him to become very public in his actions in ways such as enlisting a servant to bring her to his bedroom.

As you read the story, at each point you want to scream, "David, stop; don't do what you're thinking of doing!" But he doesn't stop. Upon bringing Bathsheba to the palace he has sexual relations with her. As you read the account, you find it hard to believe that this is the same man that Samuel anointed to be king because of the character of his heart. But the plot thickens as Bathsheba becomes pregnant. Once more, instead of the pregnancy awakening David from his self-deception, it becomes the occasion of even deeper and greater sin.

Today we would have another quick solution for David that also leads to murder – abortion. An appointment could have been made that would have taken care of the problem and no one would have known.

David does his best to use Uriah to cover what he has done. If he can get Uriah to sleep with Bathsheba then perhaps the pregnancy will be attributed to Uriah, and David's sin will be hidden. But Uriah refuses to participate in David's scheme. So what David does next, in lust-driven anger, is hard to imagine, even though by this time you know that sin now has a firm hold on him. David has his soldiers set up Uriah so that he'll die on the battlefield. And then David marries Bathsheba.

So Uriah was aborted and David marries Bathsheba. Talk about a dysfunctional situation; what kind of woman marries the killer of her husband? It’s clear that sin marred both of their lives. Did they somehow think that after all this they were going to live happily-ever-after?

Don’t we see the same today in adulterous situations where deception and scheming are essential? The lovers run around in darkness as families are destroyed. Children are sacrificed to the power of lust. When the dust settles, the couple goes on only to act surprised when one of them repeats the behavior with someone else.

It's a tawdry and disgusting story, one you wouldn't read if it were a paperback at your local bookstore. But the story is helpful, for it pictures how sin is a progressive system of sinful desire and self-deception. It stands as a pointed warning to us all.

I know you're like me, and you too would like to tell yourself that you're not like David; but you know you are. Like me, you too get attracted to things that are outside of the boundaries that God has set for you. Like me, you're quite skilled at covering, minimizing, rationalizing, justifying, defending, or otherwise explaining away your sin. Like me, you don't always stop at the first warning that something is wrong. You permit yourself to step even closer to evil, telling yourself that you'll be okay. Like me, you allow yourself to meditate on things you should repudiate. Like me, you participate in the hardening of your own heart even as you tell yourself that you can handle it, that you'll be okay.

As I think about this I see that we can’t do it by ourselves. We are no match for the deceptive power of sin. We need God’s power and we need good friends who will grab us by the neck when they see us straying. When things are good we need to give friends like these access to our lives – we sure won’t when we are on the way down. They can see what is normal and if things start to go bad they will know.

The physical acts of sin are not actually where the real action takes place. By this I don't mean that behavioral sin isn't sin. What I mean is that the real moral war of sin and obedience is fought on the turf of the heart. It's when the battle for the heart is lost that the battle of physical resistance to sin will be lost as well. When the heart becomes hard, the system of internal restraint that keeps one pure ceases to function as it was designed to function, and we say yes to that which God has called us to say no.

But there's hope for us. Jesus came to give sight to blind eyes. He came to release the captives from their prison. He came to give us new hearts. He came to break sin's dominion over us. He came so that we'd have the power to say, "No!" when temptation comes our way. He came so that we could live with open eyes and soft hearts. He came so that we could turn to him in confession and receive his forgiveness, just like David.

And just like David, we need community; God never intended for us to live alone. Victory comes as we join with the ones He has placed around us; the Lone Ranger is a myth.

A question from the meditation

Where has your conscience grown hard to something that ought to prick and trouble it? Conversely, is there a place where you have been unwilling to do what God is calling you to do?

Where am I blind to the answers? Can I even see when my heart is hard? Is the answer I would give only a smokescreen to hide what is really going on? I need friends and I need you Lord.

Philip

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Komen, Race for the Cure and Abortion

2010-09-21T14:12:00.000-06:00

It’s about the time for the Race for the Cure. It’s a fundraiser for the Susan G. Komen foundation. They fund research, screening and treatment of breast cancer.

Too bad that they also give money to Planned Parenthood which is the largest abortionist in the world.

And be sure that every dime that goes to Planned Parenthood frees up other monies so they can promote and fund more abortion.

If you want to see for yourself, Google “race for the cure” abortion. You will find out they indeed do fund Planned Parenthood and don’t plan to stop.

Here are a few of the links I came across in a quick search:

Life Issues

Pro Life Waco

Bioethics Defense Fund

Abortion Breast Cancer

Pink Money

This is from Colorado Citizens For Life:

Since Breast Cancer Awareness month is coming up, we need to discuss the abortion-breast cancer (ABC) link…and also talk about the abortion industry’s effort to conceal it. Here are some key points:

All six of the criteria necessary to confirm a cause-and-effect relationship between abortion and breast cancer have been met. (Eight medical organizations have now acknowledged this risk.)

The first study confirming the ABC link was published in 1957, 60+ years ago. Since then, at least 72 epidemiological studies (those assessing disease trends in large populations) have been conducted around the world. Eighty percent of them show abortion increases breast-cancer risk.

The only quantitative and comprehensive analysis of all the scientific literature on this subject found an overall 30% increased risk for post-abortion women. A National Cancer Institute study, conducted in America by a pro-abortion researcher, revealed even more disturbing findings: a 100% increased risk for those who’d aborted when they were under 18 or over 29…and an 800% increased risk for those with a family history of breast cancer who’d aborted as teenagers.

Now consider: Planned Parenthood (PP) has done more than 3 million abortions since 1977. In light of the ABC link, this means the nation’s largest abortion chain may be liable for another 22,500 deaths.

That’s why pro-life people are so upset that Komen/Race for the Cure officials around America have taken some $3,000,000 raised by well-meaning supporters…and given it to abortion businesses. (For example, the Aspen affiliate is giving PP $22,947. The Denver affiliate is sending grants to PP in Aurora, Ft. Collins, and Greeley and to another abortion facility, the Boulder Valley Women’s Health Center.)

Thanks for thinking,

Philip

Wisdom Is a Person

2010-09-19T06:32:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. The devotional is indented.

You teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Psalm 51:6

Sin is all about foolishness. Sinners are fools who are able to convince themselves that they are wise. When I sin I convince myself that my way is better than God's way, that my thoughts are wiser than God's thoughts, that what I desire is better than what God has planned for me. Sin is all about how a fool is able to swindle himself into thinking that what's wrong is actually right.

Sin makes us stupid. When we give way to sin, we lose logic and common sense. We do things that anyone in their right mind would run from.

Think of sin in its original form in that awful moment in the garden. There would have been no disobedience if Adam and Eve had refused to listen to the voice of another counselor. What was this counselor seeking to get them to do? He was enticing them to question, if but for a moment, the wisdom of God. He was enticing them to think that he was wiser than Wisdom himself. And he was tempting them to believe that they could be as wise as God.

Adam and Eve may have started it but each of us keeps it going. Whenever we do things “our way”, we listen to the lie. We think we know more than the Old Man.

Check out what Moses records as being one of the things that attracted Adam and Eve to the forbidden fruit. Here's what's said in Genesis 3:6b: ". . . and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise." Now, this phrase is worth unpacking.

You and I will never understand the full range of the temptation of Adam and Eve, David, or ourselves until we understand the fundamental nature of wisdom. Wisdom, in its purest form, is not an outline; it's not a theology; it's not a book; it's not a system of logic. Wisdom is a Person. You don't get wisdom by experience, research, or logical deduction. You don't get wisdom by education and experimentation. You get wisdom by means of a relationship to the One who is the source of everything that's wise, good, and true. In talking of Christ in Colossians 2:3, Paul says that "all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" are hidden in Christ.

Probably the biggest way to get the wisdom and knowledge of Christ is by letting the Bible infuse us with its truth.

Adam and Eve had all the wisdom they needed; no, not in their independent ability to figure out themselves and life, but in the relationship they had with Wisdom, a relationship that hadn't yet been tainted by sin. Tragically, they took the bait, turned their back on Wisdom, and received foolishness-the exact opposite of what the snake had promised them. This act of foolishness and disobedience began a storm of foolishness that has flooded humanity ever since.

How true that is. It’s a bad trade off and in the end we are left with a poor substitute for wisdom.

No longer wise, now born into the world as fools, we all need to be rescued from ourselves. And yet, even though there's empirical evidence that we're fools (debt, addiction, obesity, conflict, anger, fear, discouragement, fear of man), we convince ourselves that we're wise and head confidently down pathways that lead to destruction and death. The way that seems wise to us isn't wise, and the way that is wise looks to us to be the way of the fool.

You can't argue us into wisdom, because every wise thing you would say is filtered through the grid of our own foolishness.

If we are honest, we have to admit that we have been fools. Even in the midst of suffering we go on in the stupid way somehow thinking things will turn out better; our ears shut to all the cries of warning.

And so we need what David needed. Blinded by his own false wisdom and able to take tragically foolish actions that would forever alter his life, David needed rescue. No, he didn't need rescue from Bathsheba. No, he didn't need rescue from the temptations that accompany positions of power. No, David needed to be rescued from himself. He was held by the hands of his own foolishness. What David needed was Wisdom to come near and break David's hold on David. Like us, David needed the rescue of the Wisdom Redeemer. Then and only then would he be wise. Then and only then would he see, confess, and turn from the foolishness that had so deceived him.

I confess I need that too. I need rescue from me and from my ways so I am free to follow the path of wisdom.

Thankfully, the One who is Wisdom is also a God of grace. He delights in transforming the hearts of fools. He finds joy in gifting us with the wisdom that can only be found when he's in us and we're in him.

A question from the meditation:

Where do you need to be rescued by Wisdom? Where does Wisdom need to teach and enable you to live in a way that is wiser? Consider eating, relationships, decision making, private choices, finances, work, thoughts, daily habits.

One place I need help is in overeating. I know the frustration of not being able to do it by myself. I know I would feel much better if I lost some weight but logic and good intentions don’t help. I would like God’s help and power and the wisdom to help me to live wiser.

Philip

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Breath or Blood?

2010-09-18T09:37:00.000-06:00

Will it be breath or blood?

It’s been a long week and it’s time to unwind. Or maybe it’s been a long day and it’s time to unwind. Or maybe, as it must be for some people who go to a bar near me, it’s been a long night because they show up at eight in the morning. Or maybe the stated intent was to get drunk.

However it starts, it doesn’t end up well. The flashing lights appear, the siren blips and the truck slowly pulls over. The officer contacts the driver then goes back to his car. A second police car pulls up and joins the first. They talk and then talk to the driver of the truck. Eventually the second leaves. More time passes and finally a third police car comes. It must be the alcohol specialist; the DUI car. He seems to take over. He talks to the driver of the truck, spends some time conferring with the first officer and then the magic words are spoken, “Will you step out of the car.” No it wasn’t a question, he is now in control of the drivers life and things are about to change.

This was how my night went. I wasn’t even sure what time it was. Oh, no, I wasn’t in the truck, I was seized out of a deep sleep. It must have been the siren blip and then I saw the lights. I find out it’s the golden hour of 2–3am.

I dislike alcohol. I have some friends who lost their mother because of a drunk driver. I have other friends who lost a child because of a drunk driver. I know of many homes where alcohol turned what should have been a place of comfort, care and nurture into a place of distress, neglect, fear, and abuse.

I dislike alcohol because of my past. I was one of those people who didn’t know the meaning of moderation. If I drank it was to get ripped. I didn’t spend hours nursing a drink. All of my drinking days were as a minor so there were times when quantity was a problem. Those times were met with forced moderation. Then there were the times where marijuana was the primary drug and alcohol was a booster on the side. In any case, if quantity wasn’t limited, my objective was to go to the edge which usually meant falling off onto the other side.

On a side note, don’t be fooled by the marijuana propaganda that it is safer than alcohol. There were many times where pot alone resulted in loss of control of my actions and where I spaced out while driving, ending up somewhere and having no idea how I got there.

Well I’m much older now but I have no desire to find out if I could be a responsible drinker. Maybe I could but it seems like I would be playing a game of Russian Roulette. The cost is way too high if things go wrong.

Another thing is that I keep thinking of the words of Proverbs where it says this:

Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. (Proverbs 20:1 ESV)

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine. Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder. (Proverbs 23:29-32 ESV)

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. (Proverbs 31:4-5 ESV)

I do quite well messing up my life and making bad decisions on my own. I don’t need any help from alcohol.

So things changed for the driver of the truck last night. He was given the roadside sobriety test and failed miserably. The officer announced to him that he had failed and then asked if he wanted a breath or blood test. He also told him that if he refused the test then certain penalties would automatically come into play. The man said something about wanting to go home. The officer, somewhat laughing, said that home was not one of the options. Did he want breath or blood? The man finally answered that he wanted a breath test. The officer then put handcuffs on him and loaded him in the police car. Soon after a tow-truck showed up and took the truck away.

I would assume that in the best of cases, the driver of the truck took a sharp turn in his life last night. He didn’t wake up in his bed today. He will wake up in jail and hopefully he will have to pay a high enough cost so this doesn’t happen again. Sadly, for many like him, it will be just a bump in the road. They will soon be back on the road without a driver’s license, steering a metal missile down the road and leaving a trail of devastation in their wake.

Philip

Church Sign?

2010-09-16T18:57:00.001-06:00

Click here for the truth.

Philip

Hoping for a Broken Heart

2010-09-12T06:02:00.000-06:00

Slow down; I know you are busy. Reading this post right is going to take some time. If you just scan it, you will miss something good. I've spent the week going over it each day and there is still so much more. Relax, take a deep breath...okay, let's go.

Thoughts from my reading in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp. I have broken up the original format a bit by putting space between thoughts. My comments are in red.

A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

I am too satisfied
with the things I say
the things I do
the attitudes
of heart
that shape my reactions
day
after
day
after day.

A deeper dissatisfaction might lead to less frequency of these things. Lord, stir my heart.

I too easily
accept
quick assessments
of my own righteousness
in situations
where I have been
anything but
righteous.

It wasn't too bad. At least I'm not like....

I am too skilled
at mounting
plausible arguments
structured
to make me feel okay
about what I think
what I desire
what I say
what I do.

If only people could see things my way. If only they could understand my superior view.

I am too defensive
when a loved one
makes an attempt
to call me out
and suggest
for a moment
that what I
have decided
said
or done
is less than
godly.

I am not!

I am too
comfortable
with the state of things
between
You and me
too relaxed
with the nature
of my love for You
too able to
minimize
my need for Your
grace.

I'm sorry Lord that I forget how awesome You are and how small I am without You.

In the recesses
of my private
world
there is so much
that is wrong
that I am able
to convince myself
is right.
There are attitudes there
that should not be.
There are words there
that should not be
spoken.
There are thoughts
that do not agree
with Your view
of me
and mine.
There are desires
that take me in a
different direction
than what You have planned
for me.
I make decisions
based more on what
I want
than on what
You will.

I need Your transforming power in my life; I'm not doing very well when things are done my way. May I have eyes to see, a heart like Yours, pure thoughts and complete submission to your will.

So I am hoping
for
wise eyes
that are able
to see through
the cloud of
self-righteousness
and see myself
as I actually
am.

Can I bear this? Will you hold my hand?

I am praying
for
wise ears
that are able
to hear through
the background noise of
well-used platitudes
and hear myself
with clarity.

The sound of my doings can be unpleasant at times.

And I am longing
for
a humble spirit
that is willing
to
accept and confess
what You reveal
as You break through
my defenses
and show me
to me.

The mirror must be dirty...that isn't really me is it...?

I am hoping
for
a broken heart.

A question from the meditation:

Where specifically is God calling you to spiritual unrest and dissatisfaction? How would this dissatisfaction change the way you live?

That my spiritual disciplines would not just be "good works" but produced by a heart whose highest desire is relationship with God. The change would produce a longing for genuine prayer, lingering in Scripture beyond checking off the day's reading and power to serve.

Philip

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Islam and Freedom of Religion

2010-09-11T11:16:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago I read a column in World magazine that has had me thinking about the Ground Zero Mosque and freedom of religion. Here it is. In the article, Joel Belz recounted a time as a young man when he and a group of friends made a curiosity visit to a small country church where there were going to be snake handlers. Coincidently, at the same time the county sheriff showed up. He announced that, “the U.S. Bill of Rights did not include the right to endanger the lives of worshippers.”

Next Joel reminded us of November 18, 1978 when over 900 people died in a mass suicide at the hands of the “Rev.” Jim Jones. The group had been in California before moving to Guyana. A couple days before the deaths, the “county sheriff” showed up in the form of Congressman Leo Ryan. Ryan said, “these folks have the right to practice whatever weird religion they want. But there are some limits." At the end of his visit, Ryan and several others who were with him were shot to death. Soon after, the Kool-Aid was passed out and people either drank or were forced to drink.

So what about “freedom of religion”? Did anyone complain that these people should be left alone and that the government was abusing its power? What about when the government told the Mormons that polygamy wasn’t acceptable in this country? Would we tolerate a religion that wanted to practice human sacrifice? How about if sex with children was a deeply held religious belief?

The article concludes with this:

…Americans have always made room for common sense—even for what we call guaranteed rights. That's why we've said it's OK to limit the "religious rights" of snake handlers and cultish weirdos.

But doesn't such limitation of Muslims' rights prove that we're bigots—that we're really a nation of Islamophobes? No, it simply reminds us that in a world where Muslims just last week barbarically stoned a man and a woman to death; where the week before they shot and killed a selfless eye doctor and his team; where even now it's hard to name a single predominantly Muslim country where construction of a Christian church is allowed—in such a world, common sense says there's room to call in the county sheriff and let him ask a few questions.

That makes a lot of sense to me. I know it’s a hard issue. We worry that if we allow the government or anyone else to tell the Muslims they can’t build this mosque where they want to then soon the government will be telling Christians what they can or can’t do.

Think about this: Islam is making inroads into nations where “freedom of religion” is held sacred. With that freedom they begin their takeover. When it is complete, Shariah Law rules and opposition isn’t tolerated. Here is what the Quran says: “If they turn against you, you shall fight them, and you may kill them when you encounter them in war. You shall not accept them as friends, or allies.” Sura 4:89. That doesn’t sound like we are going to be able to peacefully coexist. As Joel reminded us in his article, just look around the world at what the Muslims do when they are in control or trying to gain control. Is that the “freedom or religion” we want here in America?

So to broaden the subject, I say it’s time to wake up. If we don’t rouse ourselves and start to fight, Christians will soon lose their rights regardless of what happens to the mosque. A good example is the forcing of the acceptance of homosexuality that is barreling toward us. The homosexual agenda is to silence opposition by defining it as hate-speech. It’s not just Islam that is the problem. What once made America great is fading into a distant memory. It’s too easy to take the rights we have for granted. It took a fight to bring this country into existence and it will take a fight to keep it on the right track.

What is happening at Ground Zero with the mosque is symbolic of many other problems in this country. As we remember the slaughter that happened nine years ago – on our soil, may we get a better understanding of how our enemy is approaching; our lives and freedoms depend on it.

Philip