Saturday, July 26, 2008

Holes

Augustine said: "you have made us for thyself, O God, and our hearts are restless, until they find rest in thee."

I usually think of the unsaved when I ponder this saying. Last night I was thinking of how it applies to all of us.

Have you heard the term, a God shaped hole? Have you ever thought about what your hole is? Are there things you do or seek or long for that aren't very good for you? That might be a clue.

Is there an empty place in me that I'm trying to fill with something other than God? Does that explain the thing with cheeseburgers?

Do we leak? Are there times we are filled with the Holy Spirit and other times where we are running a little low and the hole shows up again?

I don't want to be restless; I want to rest in Him. I don't want unfulfilled longings. I don't want the cheap, counterfeit, all purpose hole filler.

Think on this final verse from the poem The Hound of Heaven by Francis Thompson:

Halts by me that footfall:
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."
God pursued the man. He finally stops as the sound of God's steps surround him, the shade of His hand caresses him, tender words are spoken to him and he realizes that in pushing away (dravest) God's love, he pushed away the very thing he always wanted.

I long for you almighty God. Help me to give you the whole of my life.

Philip

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Current Thoughts

It has been a long time since I have written anything. It seems like the days and weeks are flying by at warp speed.

A few months ago I started praying that I would have two more billable hours of work each day. Most days my prayers have been answered. I have been more tired as a result.

I have also been trying to spend less time on the computer. When I write, even if the thoughts come quickly, I am a very slow typist so it takes a lot of time to get something in a readable format. Recently, someone pointed out how horrible my written grammar is; probably true but still discouraging.

There are a lot of things rattling around my head. My wife gets tired of my rants so I either need to write them here, tell someone else or forget about them. Right now, I am mostly doing the latter.

I have read some really good books lately. One is called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. It’s by Eugene Peterson. The subtitle is Discipleship in an Instant Society. I read a copy from the library then bought one of my own because it was so good.

Another one I am about to finish is called Boys Should be Boys by Dr. Meg Meeker. I will probably buy a copy of it too as I still have a lot of boys to raise. I have been encouraged to find a few things I did right and have learned many things that I need to put into practice.

I have been working on two main things in my life. One is trying to learn and practice what it means to be a servant and the other is to tame my tongue. I have an inherent ability to see the negative side of things and to say it. The common manifestation would be cutting remarks and things like that. It's a hard habit to break.

I have been trying to spend some meaningful time with my kids. I want to take my good intentions and do something practical. That's where I get hung up. I don't want to pander to their whims, where it becomes a quest for the latest release from their boredom. I want to do things that are fun and that leave them with a sense of fulfillment. Am I making it too complicated? Any good ideas?

My daughter Cassie has started blogging. You can find her thoughts at Save me from myself. She said some nice things about me that was a great source of encouragement.

Well, there is a little about what's been on my mind in the past few months.

Philip

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