A letter to my children on Father’s Day 2018

In some ways, Father’s Day gets harder as the years go by. Many years ago, I viewed myself as a very good father; not perfect but I knew what I was doing.

Well, many years have passed and I can now see many of the glaring mistakes I have made. I have learned many things in these later years that I wish I knew 20 or 30 years ago. A lot of it comes through podcasts I am listening to and some through books. The things I should have done or not done seem so clear and in some ways so easy to implement. Probably not completely true but things could have been very different in how I disciplined, led and connected. My relationship with each of you could have been a lot better.

I thank you for being understanding and forgiving.

Through the years, there have been some conversations between some of us about these things. Even when that has happened, I know it has not been enough. There are still many conversations that need to be had.

I want to invite those to happen. I know it can be hard. I know I have hurt each of you in different ways, probably mostly in ways I am still oblivious to. It is those things that keep us from experiencing the relationship that we could have.

There are things that are easy to blurt out in a moment of anger but hard to say otherwise. I want to hear those things even if it does take anger to say them. I need that and so do you. There are questions you have that are hard to ask. I want to hear them.

I know this is not an easy process and will not happen quickly. Many years have passed in making mistakes and it will take many to work toward healing. I hope we can travel that path together.

I love each of you,

Dad