Deception

From my morning reading.

Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves. Ephesians 4:25

The essence of lying is in deception, not in words; a lie may be told by silence, by equivocation, by the accent on a syllable, by a glance of the eye attaching a peculiar significance to a sentence; and all these kinds of lies are worse and baser by many degrees than a lie plainly worded; so that no form of blinded conscience is so far sunk as that which comforts itself for having deceived because the deception was by gesture or silence, instead of utterance.
John Ruskin

He that is habituated to deceptions and artificialities in trifles, will try in vain to be true in matters of importance; for truth is a thing of habit rather than of will. You cannot in any given case by any sudden and single effort will to be true, if the habit of your life has been insincerity.
Frederick W. Robertson

As a kid, I was told: “lies have short legs.” Experience showed it to be true. A lie usually doesn’t last for long and it’s hard to maintain.

Even knowing the futility and harm of lying, there is still temptation to be less than transparent. I think it’s something we have to continually battle against.

Philip

Questions

The following questions are from The Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley. They are directed toward men but anyone could benefit from them.

Perhaps you have several close friends or maybe you have none. Or, more likely, you know many men, but you are not sure just how deep the waters run. Reflect on these questions and see if you have gone far enough to develop some genuine friends.

1. When things go sour and you really feel lousy, do you have a friend you can tell?
___ Yes ___ No

2. Do you have a friend you can express any honest thought to without fear of appearing foolish?
___ Yes ___ No

3. Do you have a friend who will let you talk through a problem without giving you advice? That will just be a sounding board?
___ Yes ___ No

4. Will your friend risk your disapproval to suggest you may be getting off track in your priorities?
___ Yes ___ No

5. Do you have a friend who will take the risk to tell you that you are sinning? Or using poor judgment?
___ Yes ___ No

6. If you had a moral failure, do you know that your friend would stand with you?
___ Yes ___ No

7. Is there a friend with whom you feel you are facing life together? A friend to talk over the struggles of life which are unique to men?
___ Yes ___ No

8. Do you have a friend you believe you can trust, that if you share confidential thoughts, they will stay confidential?
___ Yes ___ No

9. When you are vulnerable and transparent with your friend, are you convinced he will not think less of you?
___ Yes ___ No

Heavy stuff isn't it. I don't find quick answers for many of the questions. I want friends like that but they aren't easy to come by. My biggest problem is believing that I'm not wasting someone else's time. I'm glad when someone presses beyond that and invades my life. I also hope that I can be a good friend to others.

Philip

Click here for The Man in the Mirror

Differing Gifts and Abilities

If the people about you are carrying on their business or their benevolence at a pace which drains the life out of you, resolutely take a slower pace; be called a laggard, make less money, accomplish less work than they, but be what you were meant to be and can be. You have your natural limit of power as much as an engine,--ten-horse power, or twenty, or a hundred. You are fit to do certain kinds of work, and you need a certain kind and amount of fuel, and a certain kind of handling.
-George S. Merriam

All of us are different. I can do things you can’t and you can do things I can’t. Or maybe I can do certain things but not very good.

I have a handyman business. It is successful partly because I know what I can and can’t do. Many times, I have to turn down jobs because I have to admit that it is beyond my abilities.

I probably work for more women than men. Sometimes I get comments from the women that they wish their husbands could or would fix things. I usually answer that I’m glad they don’t or I would be out of business.

Many times when I hear that kind of comment I am working in a very big and expensive house. It’s obvious to me that the husband certainly has some abilities that translate into making good money. As I was putting up some shelves on Wednesday my customer made the comment that she wished her husband would do things like that. This was in the garage of a million dollar home and fifteen feet away from a Maserati sports car that cost close to $100,000.

Sometimes it is wise that these husbands are not doing the repairs. Some would mess it up and some would spend all day doing something they could pay me an hour of time to do.

So why are we messed up on things like this? What about in the spiritual area? There also, we have different gifts and abilities. It’s easy to get hung up trying to imitate someone else. We waste time and energy doing things we are not equipped to do and end up not doing what comes natural or supernatural.

Conversation with strangers does not come easy to me. I can push myself but I will never be like many others who can walk up to a stranger and converse on spiritual or other matters. Because of this, I will never be very good at what we call “witnessing” in the church.

I know of some things I am good at. That is where I need to spend my time and attention. I need to know and accept my limitations. I can’t let what others are able to do make me feel inadequate and I shouldn’t hold my abilities over their head either. I need to rejoice and be satisfied in the way God has made me.

Philip

Murderous Mom

It seems that the mother of a gang member drove him and his buddies to a skate park to kill a 13-year-old boy they had a grudge against. In gang life, a grudge can come from being looked at the wrong way. It’s a warped world but the one they live in. Read the story here.

I’m not surprised. We have a gang house across the street and it is the mother who holds the whole thing together. Of course there’s no dad, he’s in jail.

And it’s not just her. There seems no shortage of the motherly type women who shuttle the gang guys around. So it’s not hard to believe that these women are hauling the guys to their graffiti jobs, fights and whatever else gang life requires.

I’m sure the California gang mom did plenty of lawless shuttling before she made the decision to participate in murder. Maybe she was like the mom across the street who fawns over the gang guys like they are some kind of heroes, telling everyone to hide in the back when the police come. When necessary she gets into the face of the police telling them “I know my rights.” Her sons know she will always be their advocate, regardless of what they do. Hey, when they get some young teenage girls drunk and bring them into the house for the gang sex initiation, you’ll not get a word of correction from her. This is gang life.

Proverbs 29:15 says: The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. It’s sad that some children are not only left to themselves but also discipled in the ways of evil. May the offenders millstone be heavy (Mark 9:42).

Philip