Bad Sex – when good intentions are not enough

A while back I read a book by Lauren Winner called Real Sex. The sub title is “the naked truth about chastity.” I was so impressed by the book that I read through it a second time and took meticulous notes.

The book does a very good job of explaining what sex is and why it belongs only in marriage. It deals with where our culture is and when I say that I must include the church in that as well. We don't have to look very far to see that the church has done a horrible job of teaching these truths and as a result our morals don’t fly much higher that what goes on in the world around us.

I have been involved in the pro-life movement for a lot of years. A scary statistic that I came across some time ago was that around 24 percent of women getting abortions identify themselves as evangelical Christians. If that statistic is true then we know that there is a lot of bad sex going on in the lives of the people who fill our pews.

Having read Real Sex, I have thought a lot about young people and what could be done to keep them from bad sex. It’s not that we are against sex, it’s that we are for the good sex that God created to be experienced between a husband and wife. I want to see the young ones given an opportunity to overcome the cheap counterfeits that are sent their way.

So anyway, how do we get there? One thing I am fairly sure about is that good intentions are not enough. In the book a study was cited regarding the effectiveness of the True Love Waits Campaign. A pledge is taken to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. What was found is that virgins who took the pledge were waiting about 18 months longer to have sex than the ones who didn’t take the pledge. I don’t think this means that we should scrap the program but maybe something is missing. Maybe good intentions are not enough?

I look back to a time in my young Christian life when my good intentions were not enough. I was in love with a young lady, wanted to marry her and had the purest intentions towards her. But we were alone to much, in places that were private enough and we ended up doing things that were wrong and I think it was those things that destroyed our relationship. I have regrets to this day for the damage that was done in both of our lives.

Please understand, I am not trying to justify anything or sugar coat sin. What I want to do is understand exactly what we need to do so that young ones can be spared what so many of us have experienced.

One thing I think needs to happen is to protect against the alone time and the private places. Here is where we need to hash things out. Do we need an all out ban? Should we bring back the parlor for courting?

I have some thoughts and will toss them out later.

What do you think so far?

Philip

The book: Real Sex