Work in Progress

One of the things I have been learning lately is that it’s okay to be a work in progress. What comes with that understanding is it’s okay to admit that I have areas in my life that need work. I’m not perfect but I’m also not where I was previously.

A couple things got me thinking about this. One was a Christian movie I heard about recently. The basic story is about a guy who was a messed up jerk. He was dishonest in business and treated his family poorly. He becomes a Christian, everything changes, and they live happily ever after. It wasn’t quite that simple but you get the idea.

I know that when I became a Christian at eighteen years old, which was almost thirty-seven years ago, things changed dramatically. It wasn’t just saying some prayer then going on as before. So I do believe that there can and should be a big change in someone’s life when they come to Christ.

Where I think we go wrong is in thinking all change in our life can be as easy as those times when God does something dramatic and things are changed in a moment of time. I’m thankful for those experiences but it seems most of the time it’s a slow uphill battle with various setbacks and failures.

I think of the stories of Old Testament battles. There are times that God’s people had to fight face to face with the enemy and there was blood and guts everywhere. Then there were some times where God did something and they stood on a hill and watched as the enemy was defeated.

Another problem with a wrong understanding of change in our lives is how we look at others or how they look at us. How many wives have gone to a nice Christian movie like the one I mentioned then wished their husband was like Mr. Wonderful? Or how about all the fiction written for Christian women? Mr. Wonderful in those stories is rarely like the lump they live with at home. The same thing can happen when husbands look at their wives through distorted glasses.

In our instant world, we want things to happen now. We don’t like to wait. We may feel that if we really repented then why are we going down the same road again. Or we look at a spouse, child or some other person and think the same thing.

Because of some of my feelings like that, I have a hard time saying I’m sorry. I figure I will probably do the same thing again and then the apology will ring hollow. I think all of us have had an apology thrown in our face. The accusation is that we obviously didn’t mean it. Many times, I have felt that I needed to conquer the problem before saying I’m sorry.

Another thing that got me thinking about this was something I read recently. The writer said that the church likes the victorious testimony but we don’t do very well with the unfinished one. We like to hear the story of Joe Horrible who is now Mr. Together. There isn’t much middle ground. How safe is it to tell the truth in church or in a men’s group? Many times brutal honesty is met with condescending stares, pithy advice or a trip to the woodshed.

I am a member of the Samson Society. We are a group of guys who are working to escape isolation. That isolation has kept us from others and made us feel that we are the only one with a problem like ours. We are committed to telling the truth and listening without trying to fix.

I am learning to be honest about what is going on in my life. It may be a good week or a bad one. I can speak about what is going on when I have no clue about how to fix it. My brothers will listen knowing that it’s not their job to fix it either. We are learning that we can’t fix ourselves or each other; that’s God’s job.

And here is the amazing thing. In that safe, honest environment the power of secrets is broken. There is great liberation in telling the truth and then finding I am not the only one who has felt a certain way. Others are honest with their past and present and through that, we lift each other up. We know we are not perfect and before we get it right, we will probably mess up a lot more.

I am a work in progress. My greatest desire in life is to follow and please Jesus. I am also a messed up man who has a long way to go. It’s not a bad road to be on.

Philip