Sunday, April 17, 2011

Obsession

I love the smell of Obsession...but that is not what I'm going to write about today. But since we are here I must say that with all my good feelings toward Obsession both the Man and Woman versions they are mere teenagers in the grown up world of scent. I love the complex and multi-layered smells of Incense Rose or L'Air Du Desert Marocain by Andy Tauer or how about Timbuktu by L’Artisan Parfumeur or CozĂ© or Rien?  But now I'm obsessing. I love things that smell good. Food, flowers and skin all go there or not. In the last couple of years, through gifts and tips I amassed a small fortune in fragrance. As I run it through my mind it is close to a thousand dollars that the shelf of bottles next to my bed represents. It is a treasure of fragrance that will last for many years. Speaking of treasure, frankincense and myrrh were two gifts given to the Christ child; two things to burn or wear because they smell good. And what about the woman who anointed Jesus with expensive perfume? It was worth close to a year’s wages. Obsessive behavior? The religious leaders and Judas thought so. It could have been given to the poor...

Obsession. The first time I was accused of it was in December of 1973. I had been a Christian for only weeks. My life had flipped a 180. It was as if the sound of skidding tires were heard for blocks and the wheels were cranked tight as the car spun around and roared off in the opposite direction.

There was a young girl I was attracted to and she felt the same. I had heard she was a Christian. We shared some times together. Then one night came the words that sounded a lot like accusations of obsession. I should slow down. I didn't need to be moving so fast in this Jesus direction. Well as you might guess that was the end of that.

With tires spinning (and heart hurting) I continued on. Even as a baby in the faith, I knew where I had come from even though I didn't know where I was going. My obsession with Bible reading had informed my changing mind that this Jesus thing was worth going all out for. The path was narrow and few would find the way - that's what Jesus said. No more leisurely broad road for me. If you want to read more about that story and see the pictures click here.

So fast forward thirty-some years: I have a family and a good job. I haven't done well with either; lots of mistakes and regrets. Many miles are behind me. One of the things that deeply bothered me was that I had become very overweight and food had become an obsession. I know it but I have neither the will nor power to change it. Then something happens. I'm not sure why or how but the day has come. Where do my will and the hand of God collide? All I know it was like my conversion so many years before. Miraculous. I am going in another direction. I confessed to myself, God and others: I need to lose weight - at least 50 pounds. I have no idea how but I am moving in the opposite direction. I am losing weight. This all started about 37 weeks ago. Interesting as I think about it, I have been a Christian for 37 years. All of that time overweight. A little at first, just a few pounds - barely noticeable and very acceptable. As the years passed the pounds increased and so did my shame. I had an obsession with food and had no will or power to do anything about it.

I have now lost 70 pounds. I started at 211 and am now at 140. That's almost a third. Again I am accused of obsession. When will I stop? Actually that is a matter of prayer. I still have a small amount of belly fat. It's called VAT (visceral adipose tissue) and makes you at risk for type 2 diabetes, coronary vascular disease, and some types of cancer amongst other bad things. That was news to me. I used to think all fat was the same but apparently this kind is significant.

So I want to finish well and stay well. I don't want to get close and quit. I don't want to leave the fat, even a small amount especially this kind.

Obsession? I see it as cooperation with God. He has given me grace and power to walk this road. I will not take that lightly. I will cooperate with him until I reach the place He wants me to be. I will not be content with close or good enough.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.  

Philip

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails