2011 Men's Retreat - 2

My view this morning

“It is easy to find good teaching on how a man should live but it is hard to find a man who is living it”. That was a comment by one of the young guys at the retreat. Ouch!

But how true; I see it in myself. I know what the right thing to do is in many areas but my life doesn’t match my knowledge. Then there is the myriad of areas where I am clueless.

I then wondered if the guy he is looking for even exists. Is there a guy at church or out there anywhere else who has it all together? Now there are plenty who would proclaim so. There was a time in my life when I would have thought so for me.

Or is the lesson somewhere deeper? If the perfect, all together guy doesn’t exist then maybe we need something else.

Some years ago we went to a church with a near perfect pastor with a near perfect family. If they had any flaws, they must have been miniscule – at least that is what they portrayed. The message sent to the rest of us was if we were not like them it was because we didn’t really love the Lord Jesus or maybe we didn’t take Scripture seriously.

As you might guess, it didn’t take a lot of probing to see what was really there. The pastor surrounded himself with brown-nosed yes men. Disagreement of substance was not tolerated. If you felt different then you probably better find a different church.

An almost comedic example of the charade was what happened with the pastor’s daughter who married the youth pastor and then was divorced. Oh, I should probably mention that the pastor’s family was all employed by the church including son-in-laws. Anyway, a divorce might mar the near perfect illusion this pastor enjoyed. The daughter’s marriage was annulled and they went through remaining copies of the church directory and removed the page that had the daughter and ex-son-in-law. It was all as if it never happened. Some time later she married another guy and he too became a church employee.

So the perfect guy/mentor probably doesn’t exist. Maybe what we need to look for is a guy who knows how to get up after he falls. A guy who can be honest with the reality of his struggles. A guy who may have some areas together and we can learn a lot from him there. A guy who presses on when life gets tough. A guy who works hard to keep his marriage together. A guy who knows how to go to work day after day when he doesn’t feel like it. A guy who will expose his failings so I can learn what not to do.

So what I need is a messed up guy like me. Not perfect or all together but drawing close to the one who is perfect. That is the guy who can help me. I will never be perfect or have it all together so I can identify with him. I can be honest with what is really going on in my life. I won’t have to fake it when I’m around him. He understands and helps me get up after I fall.

And maybe I can be that guy to someone else.

Philip

2011 Men's Retreat - 1

A view to the south

What does it mean to be masculine? That was the question asked. The weekend will probe and reveal the answer.

What stood out to me last night was a point made that one way a boy shows a transition from boy to man is in service. He goes from being cared for and served by his mother to caring for, serving and protecting women.

I don't like to be served all that much but I sure don't like to serve, especially if it's inconvenient. If I can fit it into my schedule or routine I may.

So in that way I have not made that defined transition from boy to man and I'm 55. In that way I am stunted.

I get the point though and I get why. Having men like that will make a much better society.

May God help me be the man.

Philip

Appearances

Things are not always what they appear to be. Sometimes our eyes deceive us.

I am amazed that I needed to lose 70 pounds. When I set out to lose weight I knew I needed to lose 50 and probably a few more than that. My problem was I didn’t know what a pound of fat looked like or all the places it was hiding in my body. Now I have a better idea.

I had become so used to being overweight that I couldn’t remember what it was like before. Now my vision is becoming a little clearer and my memory is coming back. I remember in my young twenties when I joined a gym. I wanted to lose about 15 pounds. I weighed about 155. Life sidetracked me and year by year that number grew. If I had lost that weight I would have been where I am now.

Even my wife has no memory of me not being overweight. When we got together I was at that point of needing to lose 15 pounds. For her, my present appearance is something she has never seen.

This week I was replacing some fence posts. As I picked up the 50 pound bags of cement I was reminded of the extra weight I was carrying around - all day and every day. How thankful I am to God for helping me get where I am today.

So appearances can deceive. There are many other areas of my life that may look good on the outside or where my vision has become dull over time. I am thankful that God keeps pulling me along and conforming me into his image.

Here is a Latin saying I aspire to: Esse quam videri. It means To be rather than to seem.  That's what I want in my life. I want to be the real thing and have clear vision of what I am - both good and bad.

Here is a link to other posts about my weight loss journey.

Philip

You Can't Outrun Your Mouth

Sharing Jesus at Work

I read this yesterday and thought it was very good.

Here are a few suggestions to help you proclaim Christ in your place of work:

Work in ways that show you're a competent employee. A poor employee doesn't have much of an opportunity to be a good witness.

Always act ethically. If you don't, please don't tell anyone you're a Christian, and certainly don't try to get them to be like you.

Relate with care, concern, and fairness to all customers and fellow employees. Be especially attentive to this matter if you're in management.

Be respectful of the right of fellow employees to their own beliefs. Respect begins with listening.

As opportunities for conversation arise, talk with ease about what your faith means to you. Don't let proclaiming Christ degenerate into "arguing about religion." Let your fellow workers know how your faith helps you.

From God's Man by Don Aycock

This fits too:
Preach the gospel wherever you go; when necessary, use words.
~Saint Francis of Assisi

Philip