Saturday, November 5, 2011

Fear

Bandit
We have a dog that is full of fear. We got him from the pound. Who knows what happened in his life before he came to our home.

When I walk I take Bandit with me. He knows when I am getting ready and gets all excited. Sometimes he is disappointed when he finds out I am going on a bike ride. I look the same for both. The clue is I either get the leash or water bottles.

It's on the walks that I recognized his fears. He will see someone or something and his pace changes, he slinks down and I have to encourage him along. It used to seem funny to me.

One of Bandit's bad habits is barking at the mailman. Some people around the house have said he is being protective. On our walks I have noticed that when we encounter a mailman he becomes especially fearful.

With some things I have read recently and some work I am doing in my own life a light went on. I think the reason he freaks out about the mailman is not because he is being protective but because he is terrified.

I see the same thing in my life. Certain experiences have led to various fears in my life and those fears help cause me to react in wrong ways.

I have fears about being abandoned. I have fears of relationships ending. I am just discovering how these fears influence my behavior. An example: why go to all the work of trying to build relationships with other men when they are just going to fall apart? And why would someone want to be my friend anyway?

So I am terrified and barking at the mailman.

Glad to hear your thoughts on either me or Bandit.

Philip

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