Grief

It comes in waves; it settles in layers. It brings pain, sorrow and sadness.

Today was a day of celebration that turned to sadness. My son Matthew turned 13 today. We celebrated him being a part of out family.

Then my 23 year old daughter, one who could be called a prodigal, brings news that tears the joy out of me. She is one who pursued God with a passion. Then came bad company; the kind that Scripture says corrupts good morals. It was a spectacular slide downward. She abandoned her husband of 1 ½ years and took up with an infidel. Her whole life changed.

On the way down she joined the company of those who call themselves “childless by choice.” Yes, this from a lady who so loved children and would be an amazing mother. But caught by the snare of the world, the one that says there is so much more than the blessing of children. Money, possessions and fun were to be chased after.

So the news of today: Some health issues I won’t go into but leading her to a hysterectomy. This bad news for a 23 year old, my young daughter and one I love but feel so far from.

And she says it’s all okay, no big deal, didn’t want kids anyway. But is a rock thrown into a pond with no ripples? The ones that hit me feel like a tsunami. Is a curse come upon her; the one called barrenness? Oh I know that is such archaic language; and such archaic thought. Yes in a society that no longer values children in the Biblical way.

I grieve for my young daughter even if she can’t or won’t or maybe will at some time later. And to be honest, I grieve for me. Yes, this will affect me and my wife and the legacy we had hoped for.

And I will pray for something else. I pray for her heart to soften, to be broken by the gentle hand of God that it may be made tender like His once again and that she will return to Him. And I pray that she will not have such a final thing happen to her. That she and the news will change. There is so much being lost now in the place where she dwells.

Will you hurt with me for this wandering lamb? Will you now say a prayer for her? Thanks.

Philip