Dear Mom

Here is the letter I sent to my birth mom today. I included pictures of me as a baby, in the second grade, and now. Also sent a picture of the kids when they were younger. I feel peaceful and anxious.

2nd Grade

March 13, 2013

Dear (removed),

My name is Philip John Faustin. I was born on July 20, 1955 at Porter Hospital in Denver, Colorado. My birth name was William Paul Bibelhausen.

Thank you so much for giving me life and bringing me into this world.

I recently requested and received a copy of my original birth certificate and found out your and my father's names. After doing an Internet search I found that (removed) was deceased. Through his obituary I learned that you have two daughters and a son.

Let me tell you a little about myself and my family. I was adopted by Al and Ida Faustin. I was raised in a very good home. Both my adopted mom and dad are now deceased. I have an older brother and a younger sister, both adopted as well.

I have been married since 1978 and my wife Wendy and I have been blessed with eight children. The oldest is 31 and the youngest 11 - six boys and two girls.  

I hope I am not invading your life in a bad way. I am sure this letter is quite a shock to you. I myself feel like my life has been turned upside down in finding out about all of you.

Since I don't know the circumstances surrounding your decision to put me up for adoption I understand that this letter could bring up unpleasant and painful memories. If so, I am very sorry. If this situation is something you would prefer to leave in the past I understand. If that is the case I will do nothing else to contact you or your family. Just let me know.

On the other hand, if you feel differently, I would love to know more about you and the rest of your family.

Again I thank you so much for giving me the gift of life and releasing me into the arms of my loving adopted parents.

Best wishes,

Philip Faustin

Denver Samson Society

Friendship and Discipleship for Christian Men

If you are in the Denver area we invite you to join us.

We meet every Saturday night from 6:30 - 7:30. After, we gather at a restaurant for some real fellowship and encouragement.

See our website for the meeting location, for what happens at a meeting and information on what the Samson Society is all about.

I hope to see you there!

Philip

The Transgender Child Trojan Horse

With sadness I read the story of the supposed transgender child in the news this week. If you are not familiar with the story, here it is. 

The first thing I would say is it's not this child who has come up with this distinction. The parents claim he has known he was a girl since infancy. That is a fiction. For whatever reason, either misguided or sick, it is the parents who have created and fed this. 

If I had my way, I would remove the child from this home and place him in a safe place far away from such messed up adults. 

But here is the main reason I am concerned about this whole situation. Imagine with me for a moment that this child decides that he wants to express his sexuality with other children or adults. The parents claim that he has always expressed the desire to have sexual relations and understands what it is all about. There are groups of pedophiles who are pushing for this "right" for children. They claim children should be able to "love" whoever they want. If you think about it, if we accept the notion that a child has the right to change gender then the other is not far behind legally or morally.

I wonder if the parents plan to start administering hormones to this child so he develops into a she? Will surgery soon follow to get rid of the male genitals?

There is much more to this story than many understand.

Philip

My son Nathaniel

On March 1, 1994 my son Nathaniel, who was due to be born two weeks later, died in the womb. His death was confirmed by an ultrasound. After returning from the doctor, we gathered our other five children and told them what we had just found out. The grief hit each of us in different ways.
Immediately we started to make plans for both the birth and the funeral. We contacted our pastor who was helpful and a friend of ours who is a funeral director.

The next several days were some of the best and worst of my life. The best was the gathering around us by family and friends.

We met with the funeral director who has a beautiful cemetery in the mountains. They told us that they give a free plot to stillborn children. We walked through the cemetery and picked one out. We were given literature on markers which we could choose later. Then we looked at caskets. They all seemed too funeral like.

I decided that I would build one myself. The boys and I went to the lumber yard and bought the wood that we needed. My wife and the girls went to the fabric store and bought material for the lining, pillow and outside. Many tears were shed as we put it all together.

We decided the service with our pastor. It was fairly simple. He did several readings from Scripture and then preached a sermon that deeply moved us both then and at times that we have listened to it since.

I wrote a memorial folder that was handed out at the service and mailed to some friends as an announcement. It had Nathaniel's name and footprints on the cover. Inside were two notes. One I had written to Nathaniel on the day that he was born (March 5, 1994). The second was to the reader. It spoke of our familiy’s trust in God and acceptance of His will for our son and our life. Also included on the inside were the dates of his death, birth, celebration service, weight, length, eye and hair color. On the back was a list of pro-life ministries that gifts could be sent to in lieu of flowers, etc.

After the service my friend helped me carry the casket to our van. My family and I then led the procession to the cemetery which was about 30 minutes into the mountains. My sons and I then carried the casket from the van to the plot. After everyone gathered, our pastor shared some final words from scripture. My friend and I then set the casket into the ground. I picked up a shovel and filled in the dirt until the casket was covered. My two oldest sons also put in several shovels of dirt. We then received many hugs and words of encouragement from family and friends.

Spontaneously, several friends picked up the shovel and finished filling in the grave. I cannot express in words how moving this was.

One thing that we found out was that being involved in the intimacies of planning and carrying out the service and burial helped us work through our grief. That is one thing that I would emphasize. Modern funerals take away from the reality of death. In times past, the families were the ones who handled the body and prepared it for burial. Of course, that is not always possible but we cannot shut off ourselves from what has happened.

The job of a Christian Funeral Service is twofold. One is to confront us with the reality of death and the other is to confront us with the blessed reality of eternal life.

Many in our family are not Christians. Some of them were touched through the service and burial in a way that they could not be in any other way.

Looking back, I have no regrets of how we handled our son's funeral. The pictures of it remain a vivid and pleasant memory in my mind.

Happy Birthday son.

Philip