The Letters I've Never Sent

I love to put words on paper. I like a good, not necessarily expensive, pen for the job and appropriate paper rounds it out.

Sometimes the words go from my head, through a keyboard and into the digital world.

What is most important is that the words get out and do their job. It may be thanks or encouragement or standing on the soapbox.

I love when something I write helps someone.

But there are a lot of letters I have never sent. Therapy writing.

Many letters burning with anger have been written with no intention of another human reading them. I have made convincing arguments to people who I know would never listen. I have shared pain or passion. And then in the trash they go.

Do you have letters that need to be written? Letters that will let the depths of your heart and soul escape. Letters that are for you and God alone. A letter that is bursting with anger, passion, pain, or even joy.

Write it, read it, tear it up. Freedom.

Philip

Why I am a Proud Dad

I have 8 children. I am proud of each of them for different reasons. I see that each of them have worked very hard to get to where they are.

It's not because of what they have accomplished or the awards they have received that makes me proud but because they have expended incredible effort, many times having to try and try again.

It seems that through the years each of them have been in the spotlight in our family for a time, some accomplishment or event having put them there. But it was hard work that brought it about.

I thank God that I am blessed to be the father of each of them.

4th of July Mourning

Last night according to family tradition, we watched fireworks at the city of Glendale. As the fireworks were going off, I was thinking of how fast our country is moving from freedom and liberty to bondage. Christian liberty is being eroded so fast. Of course, most of us have not experienced the effect yet so we go on with life as normal while the walls around us are falling down.

I think of the oath that soldiers and others take to "support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic..."

I have a son entering the military who will support and defend in one way and a son who is a police officer who will support and defend in another way. The rest of us can be involved in the political process and support and defend through that. That said, I don't have great hope in the political process but we must still work through it.

My sadness comes from the realization that apathy and ignorance are so thick; like sludge around our feet, they keeps us from doing the important things.

I mourn that we have people in high office who seem to be domestic enemies. Their vision to fundamentally transform America is fulfilling the 60's radicals hope to destroy America.

I pray for God's mercy on this country. I wonder if that mercy may come through judgement of the Christian church; a church that for the most part has become irrelevant to the surrounding culture as it has lost it's salt and like a chameleon has become so much like the world.

Your Sh*t Doesn't Stink?

Last night I watched a movie called Ragamuffin which is the story of Christian musician Rich Mullins. The movie was real which means it didn't gloss over the sins that Rich struggled with. The movie showed him smoking cigarettes and getting drunk. There was a time in my life not long ago when those things would have been enough for me to write him off as a Christian.

A friend of mine made this comment about the movie: "His music was amazing but this movie brings out a side that he needed serious counseling and discipleship?"

My dad had an expression he used to describe people who think a little too much of themselves: "They think their sh*t doesn't stink."

So Rich did need help in his life; he probably knew that. But what about us when we look at the reality of his life but fail to apply the same judgment to ourselves?

One of the themes the movie presented very well was how Christians go around with masks on, acting like we are perfect. We pretend we are okay or at least more okay than the person we think needs counseling and discipleship. We judge Rich for smoking and getting drunk (which maybe we should) but minimize our own arrogance, pride, selfishness, self-centeredness, greed, gluttony, sloth, lies, etc. Somehow we think our stuff is not as bad as the other guy. Rich may have turned to alcohol to numb the pain of his life but what about what we turn to? Food, work, hobbies, pets, TV, movies, isoloation, we all have something; some things just seem more acceptable than others. What do you do when you are anxious or afraid? What do you do when you are lonely? What do you do when you are angry? What mask do you reach for?

The real problem with this is that we don't get the help we need. We pretend we are okay or are afraid to tell the truth about ourselves. Our secrets destroy us.

Most of the time we are blind to our own faults. If we had real authentic community we could see the truth about ourselves and tell the truth about ourselves But for the most part we don't. We play the game of confessing things like being grouchy on occasion or being a little impatient with our kids. Do you have someone who tells you the truth? If they tell you that you are a very godly person then they are probably afraid to tell you the real truth.

Each one of us is broken in some serious ways and we all stink - present tense! Or do you think you are perfect? Because if you are not perfect then the little crap you do is just as bad as the big crap someone else does. It all misses the mark and is therefore sin.

I have become less judgmental about others as I have become more judgmental about myself. I am not soft on sin, I've just become more focused on mine rather than other people's.  I have become more aware of the big and small crap in my life. I also have given up on self-improvement. I don't make promises to change. I can't do it myself. I recognize that Jesus is the vine and I am a branch. Apart from him I can do nothing. I do the work to be connected to him and change comes, change that I can't take credit for; change that seems slow to come much of the time.

I highly recommend the movie Ragamuffin. If you let it, it can help you see yourself in a different light and maybe others as well.

Philip